Maryland Babies

xp - The lying has started - how to address?

the PS board is dead - and since we were just talking about lying the other day, I thought I'd post here and get some additional insights:

I know DD's concept of truth vs. a lie is not very good, but even if I ask it as a why question, she still denies it -

Q: Why did you pour milk on the table?  A: I didn't pour milk on the table

The same thing happened the day before when her friend said DD hit her, but I didn't see it.  "Did you hit Zoe?" No  "Why did you hit Zoe?"  I didn't hit her.

Do I just punish anyway and ignore her denial?

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Re: xp - The lying has started - how to address?

  • I would talk to her about it and explain that what she is doing is lying and how it is important to tell the truth, etc.  I was really surprised when i read Nurture Shock to learn that kids typically learn lying!  Apparently, whenever we tell our children that we are going to do something and then can't, they perceive/learn it as a lie.  For example, you told DD that you would take her to the park tonight, but then it ends up raining so you can't go.  To an adult that wouldn't be considered a lie as you had every intention of taking her there, but circumstances beyond your control prevented that from happening.  To a child however, they see it as mommy said one thing and did another.  (It is a great book btw.  Highly recommend.  It has several chapters where the authors present different research that dispels/contradicts parenting maxims that most of us hold as true).
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