January 2013 Moms

Rant: mom told everyone that i am pregnant...

i told my mom 2 days ago.. also telling her that we want to keep it quiet for a while because i am still only 6 weeks its still really early. i didn't even know if i wanted her to tell my dad yet because i would be devastated having to tell people something happened. well yesterday morning she tells me she HAS to tell my dad because she can't keep it in. fine. next thing i know she tells me she told her best friend. really? at that point i explained again the reason why i didn't want her to say anything. next thing i know she HAS to tell family before they find out. i really didn't want her to but she did anyway. so i am getting text messages from EVERYBODY in my family, i just thought maybe she would tell her mom. whatever. today i hear she went to work and told everybody there she had also called and texted people telling them too. but apparently "it was out already".. the only way it was out was from her big mouthing it. 

 i just had a long and loud conversation with her about the situation and how i feel about it. she apologized. but not for what she did. at first she was just sorry i was upset. then she started getting upset at me because i shouldn't be mad at her because she is mad at me for getting pregnant out of wed lock, like me and my boyfriend haven't been talking about and planning our marriage for years or like i haven't been in a committed relationship with him for 5 years. let me remind you that she has been crazy excited until this point where its all my fault for getting "knocked up" 

sorry rant over. just needed to vent.  

  

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Re: Rant: mom told everyone that i am pregnant...

  • I would have been pissed!  It's not her news to share.  I'm sorry she was so insensitive.
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  • You have every right to be mad. It's your news to tells and it's new that would be fun to tell when you are ready. Her actions kind of robbed you of the excitement. I'd be pretty frustrated and probably venting on here too :) Good luck

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  • This is the same reason im not telling my sister. Im so sorry your mom went and blabbed to everyone that's so not kosher. And like PP said she robbed you of the excitement. I hope you have a better day tomorrow!
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  • Wow all of that was very insensitive of her; you have every right to be furious!
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  • Reyka9Reyka9 member

    And THAT is exactly why I'm not telling my mom before 2nd trimester.  She has a big mouth.

    OP, I'm really sorry that happened to you, and especially sorry that the circumstances of your pregnancy got thrown in your face like that. 

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  • I'm sorry that really sucks. I would kill my mom if she told anyone. So far so good.
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  • I'd be really upset too! My mom won't tell anyone that I don't want her to tell, but my MIL will be another story....I really want to hold off telling her as long as possible (but DH is excited to share the news..) I'll be telling my mom shortly & I'm not worried that she'll spill the beans.

    Hope your mom behaves better during the rest of your pregnancy!!

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  • Ooooh! Moms sometimes!

    I would be really annoyed with her.  Very immature and selfish of her.

     

    And her comments about wedlock were cruel and unnecessary.  

     

     I wish you could fire parents or put them on probation or something!

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  • I would be totally pissed. Especially since you specifically told her to keep it to herself. Not kosher at all.
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  • thank you for letting me vent girls!! i needed it. today though i will be calm and stress free. breathing it out. what happened happened and i can't go back in time and change it. staying strong for baby s :)

     

    have a wonderful day everyone!!! 

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  • i'm so sorry--that totally sucks. :(

    i just told a friend this past weekend who in the past hasn't been very good at keeping secrets. i told her that i had something i really wanted to share with her, but i needed to know that the only person she would tell would be her husband. FX that she's keeping it! :) 

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  • jdm7jdm7 member

    I think the key is to specifically say "DO NOT TELL ANYBODY!!! That means ANYONE! Don't tell the check out clerk at the grocery store, don't tell your best friend, don't tell the nurse, don't tell ANYONE. Not someone you know and I will never meet. NOBODY!!" 

    Just remember they are as excited about the news as you are an they want to shout from rooftops that they're going to have a grandkid. It still doesn't excuse their lack of understanding though.

    And the only other thing I have to add is I think it's kind of crappy that you told your mom and didn't want to tell your dad. they'll both be excited for you (regardless of their thoughts on your situation) and they'll both be there to comfort you if something goes wrong. That's not fair to your dad. This is just my opinion. 

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  • Yup, my mom did the same thing, we had been ttc for a year when we finally got pregnant so we told her right away. By the next day even the people at her work knew, my mom is unstoppable. Just know you can't change what she's done and hope that everything works out for the best, that's what I'm doing :) I understand your exasperation though.
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  • I'm so sorry she did this! I have to say this is the exact reason we are telling my mom LAST, before we go public. I hate it and I want to scream at the top of my lungs to her that I'm pregnant but I learned my lesson with my wedding dress. I allowed her to take pictures in the salon and despite yelling and screaming at her multiple times not to show it off, she did! And she showed it to family and friends who were coming to the wedding. It pissed be off beyond reason and sadly its the reason she won't know about the baby till after DH's family and until we are ready for the world to know.

    All I can say to help is that what's done is done. I'm sure she was just super excited for you. You have every right to be pissed but sadly continuing to be mad won't undo it. Try to make the best of it and ask her to please stop telling people asap! Tell her its your baby, your news and your excitement to share. 

    Best of luck! {{{HUGS}}}

  • This is the exact reason why i want to hold off telling my mom.

    I dont want to hurt her feelings, but when i had my m/c and she asked if she could tell a few close friends, she pretty much told everyone we know. good thing I live 4 states away.

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  • Ugh, I'm sorry that happened.  It really wasn't her news to share and it's disappointing that she couldn't keep the secret. 

    Something similar happened to me.  We told my immediate family pretty much right away and specifically asked them not to say anything to anyone else, especially extended family.  A few days later there was a family gathering that I wasn't able to be at and apparently my 13yo brother accidentally said something that alluded to me being PG and then instead of casually playing it off, my mom covered it up horribly and basically spilled the beans completely.  SO THEN, a few days later, my uncle called me and point blank asked me if I was PG!  WHY?!  And then, because I couldn't just lie at that point, I told him, and he spread it around to the rest of the family because he's the kind of person who likes to have the "gossip" to spread around.  Oy vey. 

    So yeah, I'm just not really happy about it all around.  And now it's kind of awkward because I know that everyone knows, but some people are being obviously polite about it and not saying anything to me and waiting til I'm ready to tell them the news, but because I know they know I don't even know how to tell them the news!  Ugh... AND we still want to wait at least another week and a half to say anything officially because we haven't had our first appointment/U/S yet.  Yeah... annoying and messy.  

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  • It's so frustrating. My mom has been good, but my in-laws have told EVERYONE, including people I don't even know. I walked into a hardware store and the owner went on and on about it, and I seriously have never met her. It has gotten completely out of control and is starting to make me really bitter. My husband doesn't understand why I'm so upset, but I didn't want to tell ANYONE until after our first doctor's appointment. I guess I'll have to keep the secret to myself for our next pregnancy!
  • I would have been pissed too! When I told my mom I was only 4 weeks. I strongly urged her not to tell anyone. But she is so excited she asked me last week (I am now 8 weeks) if she could start telling people. At least she asked. I would be so pissed if she just went and told the whole world without asking me first.
  • imagegoofyteacher:
    I would have been pissed!  It's not her news to share.  I'm sorry she was so insensitive.
    This. And, how rude! Although, I can understand this happened, I am sure she was just so overjoyed.
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  • I would of totally lost it on her. I think my mom would do the same thing so she won't know till after my first doc apt. Your 100% right on this though. Married or not she should still respect your wishes! Your body, your baby!!!
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  • I would have been super pissed if I were you.  The right time to tell people isn't her decision to make.  I am so sorry! :(
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  • Reyka9Reyka9 member
    imagebrianabrad:

    I'm so sorry she did this! I have to say this is the exact reason we are telling my mom LAST, before we go public. I hate it and I want to scream at the top of my lungs to her that I'm pregnant but I learned my lesson with my wedding dress. I allowed her to take pictures in the salon and despite yelling and screaming at her multiple times not to show it off, she did! And she showed it to family and friends who were coming to the wedding. It pissed be off beyond reason and sadly its the reason she won't know about the baby till after DH's family and until we are ready for the world to know.

    All I can say to help is that what's done is done. I'm sure she was just super excited for you. You have every right to be pissed but sadly continuing to be mad won't undo it. Try to make the best of it and ask her to please stop telling people asap! Tell her its your baby, your news and your excitement to share. 

    Best of luck! {{{HUGS}}}

    GASP.  Oh, I would be pissed right the F off...! 

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  • Ha! And Awe :( My mom passed away two and a half years ago, but this sounds EXACTLY what would have happened between us. My mom could be really hurtful when she felt she was being attacked or things weren't going her way. At the end of the day she loved me more than anything, but she sure had a weird way of showing it sometimes.

    Don't let her get you down. Moms can be frustrating sometimes (or most of the time in some cases!). I just try to remember that I'm going to be a mom now and there are some things I will definitely be doing differently :) 

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  • imageOliveBeckett:

     I wish you could fire parents or put them on probation or something!

     

    Ha!  Yes, this.  You're mom stinks, I would be really upset as well.  And I'm a bit nervous that my parents won't respect our decision to keep it quite for a while after we've told them, too.  It stinks. 

    Happily Mrs. C 
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    start ttc #1 in Jan 2009
    dx PCOS in May 2010, begin metformin
    Two failed clomid cycles (made lining too thin)
    Started acupuncture while saving for IVF in Sept 2011
    Add herbal infusions to the mix in Dec 2011
    Hoping holistic approach works!!!

    BFP on April 2012 at 11dpo
    Meepy Man born on Jan 2013 - Hip Hip Hurray!

    Ready to start ttc #2 April 2013, but plan to be an extended BF'er
    Back on metformin Aug 2013
    Restart herbal infusions Sept 2013 - currently drinking nettle, oatstraw, and red raspberry leaf
    DS weaned in April 2014
    Taking a break from herbs and just riding the healthy train.  
    Planning medicated cycle end of summer.  FX I get KU before then!!!
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