Ferber/CIO help needed!!! PLEASE!
marybeth1699
member
Has anyone used the Ferber/CIO approach and had their LO just stand in the crib and scream? We did CIO back around 7 months when LO wasn't smart enough to pull up to standing and it worked like a charm. He cried for 30 mins the first night, 10 mins the second and 2 mins from then on.
However, now that LO is walking we have majorly regressed. When I put him down drowsy, he just rolls over and then pulls up to standing. Today he stood and cried for 90 minutes. I went in and soothed him and laid him down a bunch of times and it finally worked after 90 minutes, but by that point we had already missed the nap window! It was 4 pm and I didn't want him napping at that point b/c bedtime is normally at 7.
Anyone have any success stories of re-Ferbering their baby? And what do I do if he blows through his nap time? Let him sleep even though it throws the entire schedule and bedtime off? Or get him up after a short 15 minute nap? Or just give up once the designated naptime has elapsed? (and I worry that if I go in once the naptime has elapsed but before he falls asleep and get him up, then it will be positively reinforcing the thought that if he just cries for long enough then he won't have to nap).
HELP!!
Re: Ferber/CIO help needed!!! PLEASE!
I dont have any advice on naps, our naps have always been a nightmare.
We did ferber around 5 months old, it worked out great. Then at 6 1/2 months old it got worse because he figured out how to stand on the crib, so we had to do it again. It took a little bit longer than the first time, but eventually worked. So I would just keep going until it works.
I can't answer all your questions but I will say that in the Ferber book it says to give them 30 minutes for the nap (with checks). If they don't take it then go in and get them up and play until the next usual nap time (or bed). Repeat. It says you might end up with a couple days of no naps but eventually they should get it, and it says if they fall asleep playing or something then to let them because at least they fell asleep on their own. At least that way you won't end up with him falling asleep close to bedtime.
That being said, I have a really hard time with CIO for naps!!!
I didn't read that book, but this worked for us too. At 9 months she would stand in her crib and cry hysterically. I know she also was going through some serious separation anxiety then (which has since diminished). We finally just let her cry, even if it meant 30 mins straight without us going in, since me going in every 5-10-15 mins wasn't helping. B/c I work, we only got to re-train on weekends, so it took 1 weeknd of crying the whole nap, then crying for the first 15 mins, and last weekend it was less than 2 mins of crying before she conked out. Sometimes she wakes up crying only 20 mins into her nap - but I leave her alone to re-settle, which she does after a couple mins to finish her nap. The weekend when she wouldn't nap at all, we took her for errands later when I knew she'd fall asleep in the car to at least get a little rest.
We put a lovey and 2 stuffed animals in her crib, hoping she'd find comfort in them, but it hasn't worked yet. Also, go outside where you can't hear and won't be tempted to go get LO. Hang in there!
Thank you both! He did great with Ferber back before he really knew how to stand but now that he's standing/cruising and walking, it has just made putting him in his crib and letting him fall asleep on his own impossible! Thanks for the advice re: giving them 30 minutes for their nap to fall asleep and then waiting until the next nap time. I just really didn't know what to do and was worried that if I let him cry for 30 minutes and then went in to get him that he would then learn that if he just cries long enough instead of sleeping that mommy will come rescue him. I reeeeallly don't want him to learn that!! We'll give it a try starting on Monday and see how it goes... I'll let ya know!