NBR: Why must there be drama

songstress503

Backstory: My BFF is getting married in August.  She chose her sister as her MOH ( yes, I am sad, but I get it). Her sister is a 22 year-old party girl, the complete opposite of the bride. 

On Sunday I got a call from their mom on brhalf of her sister, inviting me to the shower.  I was not near a calandar at the time and did not get the signifigance of the date.  It is Father's Day.  Obviously I am now conflicted, I both want to go to my BFF's shower, and to spend our first Fsther's day as a family.  Hopeing I was in error I texted her to confirm the date was FAther's day(this is the only reliable way to contact her). Her response "It's only a couple hours"  I resoponded " Sure the party is, but there is the decorating and the clean-up" ( to also indicate, I am willing to help her).  She responded "you, don't have to do that, I will". 

At this point I could tell she was obviously in a bad mood, so I just let it rest for the night and I would respondwhen we were both in a cooler mood. Then i recieved another text "(Bride) says you don't have to come if you don't want to".  I feel terrible for Bride now.  She is such a sweet people-pleaser of course she would try to give me a way out.  But obviously I do not want a way out.  I am very annoyed that her sister would drag her into it, and hurt her feelings like that.  I am now conflicted wether I should talk to my BFF and reassure her, but I do not know how to do that without condemning her sister. I also do not want to be seen going behind her back, as I feel she has done to me. I also have no idea what I can say to here sister to express my displeasure without making her blow a gasket.

Help!

Mar5195

If she's your BFF talk to her and explain.  If you think you need to spend the whole day as a family on Father's Day, then do it.  If you think you can get out for a few hours and let DH have some quality time with his daughter, go! 

You can be like a regular guest and not have to deal with set up or clean up.  If you want to feel like you are contributing then write down all the gifts or make the bow bouquet.

I think you have some control of the level of drama.  No need to bring up what a lil *** the MOH is.  I'm sure the Bride has gotten a crash course in her sister being a brat.  Bet her Mom put her up to selecting her.