Infertility Veterans

Anxiety high, hope low

They got 9 yesterday at retrieval. I just got the fert report, and we are already down to 4. That's my worst fert report yet. How am i expected to stay hopeful? I want to break down and cry.
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Re: Anxiety high, hope low

  • reb259reb259 member
    I am sorry, I know it can be so disappointing especially when you are expecting/hoping for more.  I can be hopeful for you...cry if you need to, I hate it has to be so difficult.  Big hugs...hope you have 4 rockstars!!
    I am AMA and all tests on H came back normal
    3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
    Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
  • Hugs sweetie.  4 is still great!  Praying you get a rockstar or two out of that bunch.  I know it's hard to believe, but ladies on here have gotten BFPs with less.   Do you know yet if you are doing a 3 or 5 day transfer?  
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • imageillinigal:
    Hugs sweetie.  4 is still great!  Praying you get a rockstar or two out of that bunch.  I know it's hard to believe, but ladies on here have gotten BFPs with less.   Do you know yet if you are doing a 3 or 5 day transfer?  

    This!  But it is OK to be disappointed.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • I know you are disappointed, but you need to try to stay positive because your embies need your strength. Like McIrish put it, many ladies have gotten KU with less.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • It will be a 5 day transfer.
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  • Fx that you have some rockstars in the bunch!

    Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
    DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
    IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
    1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
    FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
    FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
    7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
    EDD 2/22/2013
    PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
    imageimageimageimage
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • :hugs: I am sorry your numbers aren't what you would like but I'm holding onto hope for you.  T&p that those four Are rockstars. 
    S/PAIFW
    Tara & Dave - TTC since September 2006
    PCOS - dx 1999 (amenorrhea) | freakishly long fallopian tubes
    Hypoglycemic | thyroid issues | severely anemic
    Multiple Clomid cycles of 50, 100, 150 - absolutely no response
    Follistim 50/100 | Follistim 75/125 | Follistim 100/150 IUI - all BFNs
    Converted IVF - BFP - m/c | FET - BFN | IVF #2 = BFN
    IVF #3
  • I hope your fab 4 bring you your take home baby! I know it's so hard to have hope, and it's ok to break down cry. This stuff is rough! We will be hopeful for you. ((hugs))
    imageimage

    Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
    DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
    Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
    IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
    FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
    IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
    SAIF/PAIF always welcome

    a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

    image
    check out my blog!


  • ((hugs))  Hang in there!  Fx one of your fab four is your lucky one!
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


  • ((HUGS)) Hopefully they will be 4 phenomenal ones though!!
    I suck at getting pregnant
    I really suck at staying pregnant
    image
  • Big hugs.  T&P that those 4 are strong little embies and one becomes your take home baby!

    Try and keep your chin up!!!

    Renee- 37 DH - Chad - 39
    2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
    3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks 
    5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
    D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
    Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
    5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
    FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
    1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
    IVF - May - BFN
    6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
    9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
    10/13 - BFP!!
    It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker





  • Fingers crossed for you!
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  • That sucks. I am so sorry. It's really hard to stay hopefull. I will pray really really hard for you guys.
    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • imagepsychmusetls:
    :hugs: I am sorry your numbers aren't what you would like but I'm holding onto hope for you.  T&p that those four Are rockstars. 

    This, hold on to whatever hope you can muster up right now 

    Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
    IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
    IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
    Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
    SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

    Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
     

    image              

     


  • LaLe09LaLe09 member

    I'm sorry you are feeling discouraged. It's so hard to stay hopeful in this process. I hope your remaining embies keep growing strong!


    DH: Severe MFI/Azoo Me: Compound heterozygous MTHFR
    IVF #1= m/c- methotrexate @6w2d
    FET #1= BFN
    IVF #2= m/c- D&C @8w5d
    IVF #3= Beta #1 9dp5dt= 252, Beta #2 11dp5dt= 417, Beta #3 17dp5dt= 4,952
    US #2 @ 7w2d= twins, baby B measuring behind
    US #3 @ 8w5d= Baby A doing well, no HR in baby B
    *S/PAIF always welcome* BabyFetus Ticker
  • you can lose hope and we'll hold onto it for you cutie.

    4 embies growing is good news and we're all praying they continue to grow and thrive. 

    ((HUGS))

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
  • HUGE HUGS...it's so hard.  But it really does only take one.  I'm a living example  GL, praying u have 4 rockstars!
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  • Thank you all!  I know all hope is not lost.  This whole time I've been telling myself it's about quality, not quantity.  I just need one of these to be the golden embryo.  I am so grateful for your support, and I hope like heck to have good news to share come transfer day!
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  • FX that your four embies continue to grow, grow, grow!  Hang in there sweets. You're doing a great job!
    Baby girl Lila born 2013.
    Baby boy Henry born 2015.
    Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
  • Try not to lose hope! Maybe you should ask for a day 3 transfer? Since there aren't lots to choose from, some think embryos grow better and have a better chance growing in you, not the lab. Good luck to you!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • koynkoyn member
    (((hugs)))
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  • I'm sorry. I know you are disappointed. Hoping you have 4 rockstars, though!!!
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