October 2011 Moms
MIL Vent, longish
My MIL apparently is obsessed or insists my daughter does not look like me...daddy is white, light skin, blue eyes, brown hairI'm mexican tan skin brown eyes, black hair...LO has dads coloring, even the blue eyes. and their huge. I upsets me when she says things about how she doesn't look like me. This is my first baby and the first grandchild on both sides. There has been three seperate occassions where she has said something like this. The first time she told one of my co-workers that LO looked like her when i was in the other room. The second time my MIL told me one of her co-workers saw a pic of LO and told her she looks like MIL. and the third time she was in another room with LO and others and WHISPERED to the others that LO didnt look like me! WTF. obviously she knows this will upset me because she is whispering. We'll i overheard and yelled from the room I was in "yes she does!" of course everyone started laughing but i got pissed. How do you feel about this? has anyone made comments like these to you?and the kicker of it is, her kids are half black and she is white! so I would think she would be the LAST person to ever tell a momma her baby doesnt look like her...i think she wants LO to be her baby! lol...and i have to fight wiht her to hold my baby when she is around. I'm happy she likes LO but she is really overbearing(i have too many stories! lol)
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Re: MIL Vent, longish
If it makes you feel any better my MIL is disappointed that both my kids look like me (even though everyone says DS looks just like DH) and makes a point of saying something insulting every single time we see her. At least your MIL doesn't sound like she is insinuating that your child isn't your DH's. I think they take a course on how to be a biotch once they realize their sons are going to settle down with someone.
I would just ignore her, this is my new tactic and it makes her look like even more of an ass.
I think THAT is the problem! Sorry she's a wacka-a-doo!
I guess those comments just don't bother me. When DD was first born, she looked exactly like DH and nothing like me. I used to joke that if I hadn't given birth to her there might be some questions about who the mama was. As she's gotten older, she has started to look more like me. Depending who you're talking to you get either "she looks just like her mama" or "wow, she is the spitting image of DH".
Maybe you could make some smart-azz comment like "Yeah, she got your looks, but THANK GOD she got my brains!" That oughta quiet her down.
I agree with Lopes, I think you are overreacting. Look at your LO objectively, who does she look like? You said her coloring, etc is more like your husband. Maybe, just maybe, she does look just like your husband. I think you are taking things more to heart because maybe you don't really like your MIL. I'm not sure what race would have to do with anything, hers, her children's, yours, your childs... if your child looks more like her dad then she looks more like her dad, so what? I think she whispers because you are taking this as some slight against you, it's not.
My MIL tells anyone who will listen that Li looks exactly like me and not at all like her son. She is not trying to insinuate that Li is not his daughter, she is just stating a fact, our daughter is a mini-me.
The fact that she wants to hold her grandbaby is not a bad thing. It sounds as though you don't see her all that often and she wants to take advantage of the time she's given. I think you need to step back and put this in perspective.
Thanks for the comments. I know I may be a tad over reacting and yes it's because I find her annoying a times. When I commented to her about it that was actually the first time I ever expressed my feelings about it. I know there are parts of LO that look like me and part that look like DH but I just find it rude coming from her because sometimes I do take it as a dig at me, why else would she whisper if I had never reacted towards that before. Plus she sees LO almost three times a week and I see her two of those times. on the days were hubby and I are trying to have family time. I feel like she's a third wheel. An she knows she comes over too much because she will even ask if she comes over to much. My attitude is if you have to ask then the answer is yes... Anyhow it was my mistake to react about it the last time because now she knows I find it annoying.