Two Under 2
First born staying at hospital
Did anybody have their first born stay with them at the hospital after having second baby? My son will be 2 and a half when baby comes and if I don't have a c-section I would love to have him stay there the second night with us, our hospitals have very comfortable family suites with plenty of room for everybody, I am just curious to hear other mom's experiences with having first born visit/stay there. Thanks!
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Re: First born staying at hospital
I wouldnt do it. For me and DH it was our only time alone with our daughter before we went home and had to tend to 2 kids. It was special time for us. I also can't imagine my 2 year old staying asleep during the baby waking, or if you dont room in then I cant imagine a 2 year old staying asleep while nurses walk in or techs come in to check BP.
I wouldnt want to worry about taking care of a 2 year old and nb while in the hospital.
My kids were at the birth's of each new baby, but they only stayed for a few hours and then went home (nap, bed, food etc). I can't imagine what they would do there all day... You can bring books and toys, but those only last so long with a 2 1/2 year old, and a lot of your attention will be on the new baby. I also agree with PP about dr's coming in and out all the time. My kids wouldn't have been able to get a good nights sleep, and that is just bad for everyone! You might want to let them stay until nap or bed time, but I wouldn't do an "overnight".
No offense, but I think it sounds like a bad idea. For all the reasons PP's have mentioned. Aside from how it will be for your 2 year old (probably boring, disorienting, and tiring) think of what it's taking away from the new baby. Those first few days are such a special time to build a bond - don't shortchange your second child. Give him or her the same focus and attention that you did the first time.
I know being away from your 2 year old probably sounds like torture right now - I was so sad to think of leaving mine. However, once you hold your new little one, you'll be really glad for that time. Your first child will have fun being spoiled by the grandparents or whoever's watching him and the kids will have the rest of their lives to get to know each other.
DD february 2010 | DS october 2011
*please excuse my typos, bumping from my iphone*
No, that sounds absolutely horrible, IMO. That poor child would have get woken up when the new baby cries, woken up when a nurse comes in to check you, and all of this in a strange environment.
I guess I'm just wondering what the benefit to your older child would be. Do you have a trustworthy babysitter?
Sorry you're getting only negatives so-far.. I felt absolutely devastated when I learned that all the hospitals in my area have a policy against children staying the night in the hospital with you. And, after a vaginal birth, they do expect you to stay for 2 nights.
I am using a birth center. If all goes to plan, DD will be able to stay with us if in fact we do stay the night-- they have a 12-hr (loose if birth is at night) discharge policy. If you're not able to go home, they figure, you must need to be at the hospital.
side-note: when I was a FTM, it was helpful to have alone time with DH and the baby and have nurses at my beckon call to help with breastfeeding, diapers, questions, etc. I don't think I need that now.
This is me too. With my first, I had an uncomplicated hospital birth but they required me to stay 48 hours because I didn't have time to get antibiotics for GBS. When I found out I was pg with #2, I was absolutely devastated at the idea of leaving him for 2 nights to stay in a hospital. For me, leaving him for 2 nights and THEN bringing home his new sibling sounded like the most horrible, disorienting thing.
So we're planning to have a homebirth this time. I'll have a good friend there to take care of my first...he may actually even be at the birth (if I'm calm and collected and he seems okay with it), or he may be sleeping or playing in the backyard, or whatever. I personally feel like he's welcoming a new baby into our family just as much as my H and I are...so it was important to me that he be as included as possible in the process. I'm not concerned about early bonding with #1...I know that will happen, and our first born will also continue to go to his daycare/preschool at least 2 days/week while I'm on leave with #2, so that baby will get plenty of my solo time without having me all to him/herself the frist 48 hours of his/her life.
My H was adament in the beginning, before we decided on a home birth, to just have our LO stay at the hospital with us...but that just didn't seem like a viable option. I'm pretty sure the hospital would have a policy against it, and even more...it's just not a restful environment for a toddler. So I don't think it's something I would do if it were allowed...but I wanted to share that there are ways around leaving your first overnight to give birth too. GL to you!