Late Term and Child Loss

New to board.....Irelynn's story (long post)

I really, really, REALLY am so sad to be posting here. My heart is broken and I don't know whether to be angry at god, genetics or my Dr.......

 My DH and I decided not to find out the sex of our suprise baby (BFP Oct 2011). We had four ultrasounds total, the last one being in Feb. Each time the baby measured just fine, had a healthy heart-beat and I remember the Dr telling me "the baby looks great".

The last week of April, I looked down at my ankles one night, and noticed they were swollen. I know that happens in pregnancy and my ankles were swollen near the end of pregnancy with DD, so I didn't think much of it. I had a Dr's appt the next morning, and my blood pressure was up and there was trace amounts of protein in my urine. (I did not have preeclampsia with DD). My next 2 appointments the protein increased, as did ME. I gained 5 pounds in one week, and my belly was measuring 44cm at 34 weeks............  The baby was so low, I could feel her shift if I squatted or bend down, and I'm pretty sure I was peeing on myself every time I stood up.  I should had demanded another ultrasound or something....but my Dr. didn't suggest I figured the baby was just big.

May 10th, my water broke in the bathroom at work, I was 35 weeks. I had already planned a c-section,( as my labor with DD had been 3 days and ended in a c-section anyway) so, I was hooked up to the monitors and ready to go at 3:00pm. 

 Irelynn Mae Ellers was born weighing 5 pounds 2 oz and was 18 inches long. She made one cry....and then there was silence. I was just laying there, my DH looking to see what was going on as more Dr's rushed in. A nurse came over and told me the Dr. was going to come and talk to us.......then another nurse.........then the Dr. "Your baby is very sick. She is not breathing on her own" was all I heard......and then she was rushed out.

My daughter had a diaphragmatic hernia, as well as facial abnormalities, genital abnormalities and was unable to breath on her own. After being airlifted to UNC Chapel Hill she got worse. She was hooked up to 8 different machines, 3 of which were heart pressure medications. She developed a pneumothorax, which had to be emptied every three minutes. Around 2:00am on May 12th, we decided that our little girl shouldn't have to fight, and asked for her to be removed from life support. I held her as passed.....and then she was gone.

I got to leave the hospital on Mothers day with a memory box and blanket.

We opted to have an autopsy, as the Dr's don't KNOW what she had. My Dr apologized, saying he was "sorry he missed it". WTH is "it" what was missed?? What happend to my baby ????? I wait every day for anwsers and it SUCKS. We also opted to have her cremated, and I wait every day for her to come home and that sucks even more.

I miss her so so so much......

 The Dr's @ UNC think she may have some type of gentic/chromosonal syndrome-possibly Frasers or Fryns. Fryns has 50 reported cases EVER. They are both hard to explain, but please feel free to google.

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Re: New to board.....Irelynn's story (long post)

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    I am so so so sorry.  So sorry.  I can not begin to tell you how much I hurt for you.  If you need anything please don't hesitate to ask. 

    There are not many of us in NC and my situation is different but if you need anything at all I will help in anyway I possibly can.

    Huge hugs.


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  • I am really sorry for you loss. I know there are no words which will bring back you little angel. Know these ladies on this board are wonderful. They have been so supportive. We are here for you to listen or give you feedback. {{HUGS}}

    BFP#1 9/7/11 EDD 7/23/11 mc @21 weeks caused severe bladder obstruction on 3/14/12
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    BFP #2 9/9/12 EDD 7/19/13 started to mc @ 8w1d on 12/7/12 ended up with d&c 12/18/12, stopped developing @5w5ds

    Unexplained IF
    BFP#3 3/3/14 After 1st iui and clomid cycle
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. These women are a great resource for healing.
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. It is horrible to go from a great pregnancy to such a tragic event in an instant. Being a part of this board has been helpful for me. I hope it can be for you as well. ((hugs))

      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
  • Bread09Bread09 member
    So sorry for your loss and that you are joining us here.  Big hugs!
    TTC #1 since 4/09
    2/21/11: IVF #1 Begins and results in TWINS!
    11/4/11: The twins are born at 36w4d!
    11/5/11: We said goodbye to our sweet baby girl as she was born with multiple complications and a severe heart defect, Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.
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  • I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet Irelynn. My heart is breaking for you. Please know that we are here for you if needed. 


     As a side note, I also live in NC and my daughters were also born in a UNC hospital. They have wonderful staff.

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

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    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13

    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

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  • foxxy1foxxy1 member
    I'm so, so sorry to hear the loss of your sweet Irelynn. Please know you are welcomed here with open arms and you're among friends. These are a great group of ladies and very, very supportive of one another. **HUGS**
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  • I am so sorry for your loss.  You chose a beautiful name for your baby girl.  *hugs*
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  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet little Irelynn.  I know I can't cay anything to take away your pain and anger, but I do hope that you are able to find some comfort here among these wonderful ladies.  ((hugs))
    BFP#1: EDD 10/11/11 Our sweet boy Robin was born 7 weeks a little early on 8/23/11 due to HELLP syndrome, unfortunately he was diagnosed with Trisomy13 and left us on 8/29/11. BFP#2: EDD 10/13/13
  • CaroleeCarolee member
    I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Irelynn. I'm sorry you're here, but welcome.  Waiting for answers is so hard...I hope you'll feel comfortable posting here and will lean on us for support.
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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  • pb127pb127 member
    I'm so sorry for the passing of sweet Irelynn and everything you've gone through.  I hope you'll find some support and comfort here. Welcome and (((hugs)))
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  • I'm truly sorry for your loss. Nothing can prepare you for something like this happening. My circumstances were different, but I too went from a healthy, low risk pregnancy to delivering my son in a matter of hours. It is devastating and shocking. I hope you are able to get some answers soon.

    We had our son's body cremated as well and the wait for his ashes to come home was unbearable.

    Please feel free to post anything here. This is a gentle, loving board- these ladies have been to hell and back and know what you are now experiencing. Big, huge hugs to you. I'm so sorry.
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  • I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl Irelynn. Please know that we are here for you when you need us. Huge hugs!!


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  • I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl Irelynn...  big hugs to you...
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  • I am so sorry for your loss.  Irelynn is such a beautiful name for your little girl.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss
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  • ((hugs)) I am so sorry.
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. No words can help what you are going through. Huge hugs.
    TTC since November 2009. DH diagnosed with sperm antibodies. IUI #1 = BFN IUI #2 = BFN On the road to IVF.... Egg Retrieval Jan 21, 2011 16 eggs retrieved Egg transfer Jan 26, 2011 Only 2 viable eggs transferred. 1 IVF, 1 ICSI IVF #1 = BFP :-) 10/3/11 No heart beat at 38 weeks: Our baby Jack became an angel 12/14/11 = natural BFP Rainbow baby Samantha Jacklyn born8/8/12. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. My heart is broken for you. I hate that you have to join us, I hate that any of us are here. But I find tremendous amounts of support here and I hope you do too. ((HUGS))
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  • I am so sorry for your loss of baby Irelynn. Big Hugs to you!

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  • Oh, honey, I am so, so sorry for the loss of Lrelynn.  I can still easily remember the first days after we lost Grace.  There are no words that do it justice, and there is nothing that will make it better over night.  I cried until I threw up, beat my fists into the floor, screamed at the ceiling, and just stared at the wall.  I wore the same clothes with no shower for 3 straight days until I realized it.  People came and went.  It was terrible.  We also had our daughter cremated and held a service for her at my home church.   

    I also fully understand having no real (or acceptable) answers.  All we can be told is "we believe your daughter had this condition and we (the world of genetics) believe this condition is recessive genetic.  Although we can't say for 100% on either, but that is our best information that we can give you."  Our situation too is rare like yours, with less than 50-100 cases ever (though a different condition). We were told that more or less a month after she was born, but it was confirmed more definitely when we went to discuss TTC in early January.  That sent me back into a funk and was really hard to hear.

    Just know you are not alone, no matter how alone you may feel.  We are all here for you and we do (sadly) understand.  Be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself, and don't push yourself to do anything you don't want to do.  I was out of work for 6 weeks and I needed that time.  Some people feel like they need to get back.  Take your time and do what is right for you.  I finally saw a grief counselor in January, and I would highly encourage that, even if you think you don't need it.  Sometimes we don't realize we need it when we do.  I was angry but tried to not be because I didn't want to be an angry person.  I didn't realize that anger was part of grief and that I would not be angry forever, but I did have to go through it.

    I am so so so sorry for your loss.  My heart breaks for you.  The first weeks/months are really dark....but I do promise that you will not feel like that forever, though you will miss your baby every day.  If you need to talk, you can email me at jenn (dot) craver (at) yahoo (dot) com  I am also in NC - Triad area.



    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.

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