I don't really get along with my ILs. I think the way they treat my DH is abhorrent, and I do not like the way they snub us at family events (His parents showed up late to our wedding and disappeared during the reception so they have still never been introduced to anyone in my family, also we weren't invited to his sister's wedding last year - for two examples). However, I know my husband loves his family and I encourage him to attempt to make contact with them a few times a year through the phone or, more recently, email, just to keep some sort of connection alive. We went through a period when he joined the Army where he did not see his parents and his mother sent him a total of two email replies in six years. They do not treat his siblings in this manner, and it is pretty obvious to anyone who knows the family that they ignore my husband. Last year we saved some money from his deployment pay and drove up to visit them (the first visit in six years) and they told him that they were sorry they hadn't seen him in awhile, but he really should have made more of an effort to stay in contact. I bit my tongue for my husband's sake, but that annoyed the heck out of me.
Now we're having a baby and my mother is throwing a small family-only shower for me in July. I feel like it's my duty as a daughter-in-law to ask that invitations be sent to my MIL and three SILs even though I'm pretty sure none of them will actually show up, and most won't even acknowledge the invite. To be honest, I really don't want any of them to come. DH and I have already discussed never leaving our child in the care of any of them because of how they've treated DH in the past, and also because they have very strong religious and political views that we find very harmful and do not want our child exposed to at an early age. My MIL and FIL have not even acknowledged that we are expecting, not a phone call, email or even a quick congratulations on Facebook.
So, long story short (too late), I feel duty bound to ask for them to be invited, but I really do not want to see these people, especially not on a day that's supposed to be happy and hopefully stress free and full of cake. Should I suck it up and have them invited anyway?