Please help — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

Please help

Hello all,

My husband and I have been married for three years, and we are ready to start our family.  We have been trying for four months now with no luck.

I think I know what the problem is.  This is a very delicate issue.

My husband has a very, very small penis.  I won't say the exact size, but it is quite tiny.  I am very satisfied, but I worry that his sperm can't get deep enough inside me to get me pregnant.  It all comes out when I stand up.

I know this may get a chuckle, but I was thinking of using a long syringe--no needle of course, ouch!--to get his sperm up where they need to be.

I have not told him about my concerns yet because I do not want to hurt his feelings about his size.  Does anyone have any ideas on how to bring this up to him?  If there is any way I could avoid citing his size as the issue, that would be wonderful.  

Thanks in advance for your time!

Ann 

Re: Please help

  • Sperm know how to swim.
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  • imagekatyj25:
    Indifferent Since it is Tuesday, I am calling MUD. :::crosses fingers:::

    I'm with Katy on this one.

    Cram, I love your response lol. 

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  • imagebdcram:
    It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean.

     

    Took the words right out of my mouth, Cram!!Big Smile

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  • imageChancieMark:
    image

    Bahahaha

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  • In case this isn't mud I offer you the following advice:

    Read the newbie link at the top of the board. Are you timing intercourse with your FW? This will increase your chances of conception. You should probably talk to your doctor before using any syringe methods! You could be doing more harm than good.

    Four months is not a long time to be TTC! 

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  • imagekristykay123:

    imagekatyj25:
    Indifferent Since it is Tuesday, I am calling MUD. :::crosses fingers:::

    I'm with Katy on this one.

    Cram, I love your response lol. 

    I'm too hungover for this Sh!t today.

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  • imagebdcram:
    It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean.

    Oh, I love you Cram.  Much needed giggle on CD1. 


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  • I spit soda out my nose when I read this. LOL. Sorry..on the off chance that this isn't a joke I don't think penis size is a factor when TTC. Sperm ejaculates at a very high speed so I am sure they are getting where they need to be. You may want to talk to a doctor before implementing your plan. If you are not careful can push air into your cervix which could lead to an air embolism. It's rare but possible. Also, what about damage to the spermatozoa from being sucked into a syringe? Cant be good. Good luck with everything else.

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  • I'm not very edumacated on this subject, but I'd skip the syringe and use a turkey baster...

    image

     

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  • imageChancieMark:

    imagegardennymph:
    . You may want to talk to a doctor before implementing your plan. If you are not careful can push air into your cervix which could lead to an air embolism. It's rare but possible.

    HEH?

    You get way more air pushed up into your vagina during sex than you ever would from a syringe full of spuzz. Ever heard of a ***?

    Good grief.

    Bahahah. That's what came to mind when I read this too.  

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  • imageChancieMark:

    imagegardennymph:
    . You may want to talk to a doctor before implementing your plan. If you are not careful can push air into your cervix which could lead to an air embolism. It's rare but possible.

    HEH?

    You get way more air pushed up into your vagina during sex than you ever would from a syringe full of spuzz. Ever heard of a queeef?

    Good grief.

    OK, admit to it. Which one of you crazy bitches is passing out the air embolism fear pamphlet. This sh!t is way too prolific on TB!

    image
  • OP if this is at all serious, there is no nice or easy way to tell your DH that his penis is too small and that you want to shoot his jizz up in you with a syringe. Good luck with that.
  • imageChancieMark:

    imagebettywhitettgp:
    imageChancieMark:

    imagegardennymph:
    . You may want to talk to a doctor before implementing your plan. If you are not careful can push air into your cervix which could lead to an air embolism. It's rare but possible.

    HEH?

    You get way more air pushed up into your vagina during sex than you ever would from a syringe full of spuzz. Ever heard of a queeef?

    Good grief.

    OK, admit to it. Which one of you crazy bitches is passing out the air embolism fear pamphlet. This sh!t is way too prolific on TB!

     

    #1 threat to mankind, air in your vagina. 

    The only thing to fear is fear itself. That AND air in your vagina.



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  • rrdiva1rrdiva1 member

    Even I got nothing to say with this one.....wow Wink You ladies crack me up!!!

    It was a much needed chuckle for a Tuesday!!!

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  • imagekristykay123:

    imagekatyj25:
    Indifferent Since it is Tuesday, I am calling MUD. :::crosses fingers:::

    I'm with Katy on this one.

    Cram, I love your response lol. 

    I think you called it... lol  

    "just an ITTY bit of MUD, no pun intended..." Stick out tongue

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  • Ha ha I got that from a board of really crazy chicks who self inseminate after sperm "spinning" to inhance their chance of a certain sex. Apparently one girl didn't get the air out first and then pushed the plunger to hard and had to go to the er for severe stomach cramps and the doc told her about it. I looked it up and the medical site I found said if you were doing it during ovulation it was rare but possible. I honestly think you would have to be using a air machine with a high psi but who knows. Seriously though who does that themselves anyway?

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  • ShaylizShayliz member

    imagegardennymph:
    Ha ha I got that from a board of really crazy chicks who self inseminate after sperm "spinning" to inhance their chance of a certain sex. Apparently one girl didn't get the air out first and then pushed the plunger to hard and had to go to the er for severe stomach cramps and the doc told her about it. I looked it up and the medical site I found said if you were doing it during ovulation it was rare but possible. I honestly think you would have to be using a air machine with a high psi but who knows. Seriously though who does that themselves anyway?

    If she got seminal fluid in her uterus, that would cause severe cramping. there's a reason doctor's wash sperm before an IUI. 

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  • Really has nothing to do with it!!! as long as it goes in you can get preggers.  I def would not do it myself especially since you would prob use a turkey baster.  If you are really concerned go to the doctor

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  • vpinevpine member

    Size doesn't matter and 4 months is not enough time for concern (we've been TTC for 16 months). Sperm do shoot up inside you, no syringe is required. .

     

     

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  • imageslightlyslapdash:
    imageChancieMark:

    imagebettywhitettgp:
    imageChancieMark:

    imagegardennymph:
    . You may want to talk to a doctor before implementing your plan. If you are not careful can push air into your cervix which could lead to an air embolism. It's rare but possible.

    HEH?

    You get way more air pushed up into your vagina during sex than you ever would from a syringe full of spuzz. Ever heard of a queeef?

    Good grief.

    OK, admit to it. Which one of you crazy bitches is passing out the air embolism fear pamphlet. This sh!t is way too prolific on TB!

     

    #1 threat to mankind, air in your vagina. 

    Queefing kills.

    Wrong, qu33fing saves lives! Holding in your qu33f kills!

    image
  • Shayliz- sorry I am on my phone at work and its not letting me quote. I don't think these crazy ladies are cleaning anything. I didn't get most of it but it has something to do with sperm spinners and incubators that they are getting off eBay. They are doing it all at home and I don't think they are cleaning anything. The site I found was specific to self insemination. So maybe it was a scare tactic to keep the crazies from hurting themselves.

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  • ShaylizShayliz member

    imagegardennymph:
    Shayliz- sorry I am on my phone at work and its not letting me quote. I don't think these crazy ladies are cleaning anything. I didn't get most of it but it has something to do with sperm spinners and incubators that they are getting off eBay. They are doing it all at home and I don't think they are cleaning anything. The site I found was specific to self insemination. So maybe it was a scare tactic to keep the crazies from hurting themselves.

    I know they aren't cleaning anything - I'm saying that could have caused the cramping. There is a reason DOCTOR'S wash sperm before an IUI, seminal fluid isn't meant for the uterus.

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  • imageCiderWench:

    I'm not very edumacated on this subject, but I'd skip the syringe and use a turkey baster...

    image

     

    hahaha 

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    image

  • imageslightlyslapdash:
    imagebettywhitettgp:
    imageslightlyslapdash:

    Queefing kills.

    Wrong, qu33fing saves lives! Holding in your qu33f kills!

    Butbutbut queefing kills the mood!  (yeah, I'm back tracking and here's why)  ;)

    And when queefing has killed the mood, YH is no longer turned on.

    When YH is no longer turned on, he gets frustrated because he hasn't found his release.

    When YH gets frustrated because he hasn't found his release, he starts cussing at inappropriate times.

    When YH cusses at inappropriate times, he scares away customers and quits his job.

    When YH scares away customers and quits his job, he starts dancing in flash mobs full time.

    Don't end up with an H that dances in flash mobs full time.  Switch to holding in your queefs.

    Awesomely epic! Love it.

  • imageslightlyslapdash:
    imagebettywhitettgp:
    imageslightlyslapdash:
    imageChancieMark:

    #1 threat to mankind, air in your vagina. 

    Queefing kills.

    Wrong, qu33fing saves lives! Holding in your qu33f kills!

    Butbutbut queefing kills the mood!  (yeah, I'm back tracking and here's why)  ;)

    And when queefing has killed the mood, YH is no longer turned on.

    When YH is no longer turned on, he gets frustrated because he hasn't found his release.

    When YH gets frustrated because he hasn't found his release, he starts cussing at inappropriate times.

    When YH cusses at inappropriate times, he scares away customers and quits his job.

    When YH scares away customers and quits his job, he starts dancing in flash mobs full time.

    Don't end up with an H that dances in flash mobs full time.  Switch to holding in your queefs.

     

    I cannot stop laughing!  This is hilarious!

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  • acesupacesup member

    i just want to know how small. 

    OP - I'm sure there are women who get knocked up playing "just the tip" so i dont think a teeny weeny matters.

    i am voting MUD.  

  • imageCiderWench:

    I'm not very edumacated on this subject, but I'd skip the syringe and use a turkey baster...

    image

     

    Bahahaha! 

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