September 2012 Moms

Is this your last pregnancy?

Let me first say, I am 99% sure our family will be complete with our two (DS and baby boy on the way). I remember after DS was born feeling serious baby fever when he was very young. It took us nearly two years to conceive him, so I guess I was concerned whether it would be a struggle to conceive again. Well this baby was a huge surprise. It was amazing to experience because I assumed the next would have to be very planned again. So now, over half way through this pregnancy, I'm already feeling kinda sad about this being the last time. I am not one of those blissful people who glows through pregnancy. But I looked forward to this special time and agonized over whether it would ever happen for so long. I really love the special experiences that go with growing a baby. I've been so fortunate to have two healthy pregnancies (so far). Since they've been good experiences, of course I'll feel nostalgic about them. I'm just concerned about coming away from this phase of life feeling complete and finished. Time is passing so quickly. Anyone else having similar feelings? Any thoughts/wisdom?

Re: Is this your last pregnancy?

  • While we won't be taking any permanent precautions, I'm seriously considering calling it quits after this one. I've spent the better part of the last three years pregnant, have (literally) taken hundreds of shots for each pregnancy....I'm ready to be done and get my body back. 

    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12

  • hmp1hmp1 member

    The door is open for a third. I would say we are both in the probably camp for another.  I have always heard you know when your family is complete and I don't feel that way now. But after this one is running around with DS, I might feel differently.  I am terrified of having 3 boys so close in age, so that does weigh on my mind.  I also do not really want 3 kids in daycare (over $750 a week!!) but if we wait until DS starts school, I will be over 35.

    I guess because I don't feel done yet, I'm not really sad about this potentially being my last pregnancy.   


    James Sawyer 12.3.10
    Leo Richard 9.20.12 

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  • I am not doing anything that is 100% (like tube tying) but the plan is that this will be our last. It is getting harder physically, financially, etc. I'm absolutely open to a surprise (I wouldn't be sad about it) but I highly doubt we will be trying again.
  • KarBearKarBear member
    Yes, we are done after this one.
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  • I hope not but there are no secure promises for #4 right now.

    DH will be entering nursing school in fall 2013. So I will have a 3,2,1 year old. During his 3 year program at his school I will be on BC.

    I will most likely go on implanion when S3 is 6 weeks. It's got a 3 year life meaning I'll be good until roughly Nov 2015 when I'll have a 5,4,3 year old.

    At that time we will discuss another implanion/long term BC or a more flexible one I can stop at my will.  DH will be set to graduate in June 2016.

    While I have hopes of getting pregnant in June/July of 2016 (DH has a job after he graduates as he must fulfill a tuition assistance contract) but its too far to set things in stone.

    And even if we're 100% sure I have PCOS and while my fertility is not an issue at this time 4 years in the future is another story. 

    BFP #1 10/28/09 EDD 06/24/10- Miscarriage 11/2/09
    BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
    BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
    BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
    BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
  • No, probably not...we've always said we wanted 3 kids. BUT talk to me after I've lived life with 2 little boys only 2 years apart in age!  
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  • Hopefully not.

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  • I'm done :)
  • Unknown. DH seems to think 3 is okay. He's even said after this one we'll play it safely for 6 months then we'll roll the dice. I don't know though.
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  • We are done. I am having my tubes tied.

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  • This is it. Three is enough for us. I thought I was done after two. When I had DD2 people asked if we would do it again, but I was really sure that we were done. Despite that feeling, I did not get my tubes tied during my c-section, and DH never got around to having a vasectomy. When DD2 was a few months old, I wanted another one so badly. We put it off for a while. I once again thought we were done. I even took the morning after pill back in September after a slip up because I was so sure I didn't want to do it again. Then, I felt terribly guilty after I took the pill. I started thinking about another baby, but I didn't mention it to DH until November. He was reluctant at first, so I didn't push him. I think it would be terrible to push him into something like that. He approached me a week later and said that he did want another.

    So that's my long story. I will be getting a tubal this time during my c-section.


    Elizabeth Grace 11.20.05 Nora June 7.15.08 Beatrix Catherine 9.4.12
  • I thought we were done after DD1 but when she was 1 DH and I really wanted another. After DD2 I was for sure done but then we had a huge BC failed and I found out at a routine pap that I was 7 weeks pregnant. I was pretty upset and I did cry and took me weeks to be happy about it. I swore up and down that I would be getting my tubes tied after birth. As time as passed though I surprisingly find myself wanting a 4th! I have brought it up to DH and he was actually pretty receptive. There is a good chance we will go for another, assuming our finances and time are in order.
    DD1 October 2008
    DD2 October 2010
    DS September 2012
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  • We're not sure. We're way too young (in my opinion) for any permanent measures. I'm 24, DH is 29. He NEVER saw himself having kids, this is the first for both of us and we weren't trying to get pregnant, but obviously didn't prevent. It was a surprise for both of us, we were together for 6 years before getting pregnant and had unprotected sex ONE time, so we figured it was meant to be!

    He only wants the one and since becoming pregnant and actually thinking about our family, I'm only seeing one too. We'll see what happens though. Obviously surprises happen!

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  • This is #3, and we are done.  I've spent the majority of the past 5 years pregnant or recovering from pregnancy (2 miscarriages, then 2 babies 17 months apart).  I'm really excited to get my body back into great shape.  We've never wanted more than 3, anyway, and I'm ready to move out of the baby stages and onto all the fun things we'll be able to do with 3 bigger kids.

    That said, don't rush your decision.  You don't sound entirely sure and there's no reason to make any permanent choices.  Though I'm very sure we're done, we're waiting a few years before we do DH's vasectomy just to make sure we still feel the same when the dust settles.  I've talked it over with my OB and will probably do an IUD.

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    (read it. you know you want to.)
    anderson . september 2008
    vivian . february 2010
    mabel . august 2012
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  • We're not sure. We definitely want more than 2, but it took us a long time to conceive DD and we had decided to adopt right before we found out we were pregnant. One of the first things DH said to me after our BFP was, "I still want to adopt at some point." The idea had just really taking root in both of us. When we got pregnant again so quickly, we decided to take a break after this one and then probably adopt our third. After that, we may be done, may decide to adopt again or may choose to try for a third biological child. It's very strange to me not knowing. I'm just trying to enjoy my pregnancy as if it's my last. Especially since I have endo and may not be able to get pregnant again even if I want to.

    No matter what, I have decided I won't get my tubes tied when I deliver our last baby. I feel like it's too emotional of a time for me to make that decision. Hopefully, when we're done, DH will be willing to get a vasectomy.

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  • I can understand where you are coming from. I am sad that this part of our life is coming to an end but I am also really excited too. We have spent most of the last 7 years either trying to get pregnant or being pregnant. We have dealt with infertility and with DD1 it took us nearly 5 yrs to get her here. And once she was here we began trying for this one when she was about 3 months old. and ended back at the RE office to conceive this one.  So in the over all I feel blessed with the babies I have/having. And really kinda glad to be moving onto  just being Mom/wife and just focusing on the family we have and not trying to expand. It has been such an emotional roller coaster  and Im really happy to be able to just focus on my baby girls and my DH. PLus Because of my Infertility issues, I am in need of some mommy matience after I have DD2 and she is up six months old or so., That includes a possible full/partial hysterectomy. So that kinda confirms are being done with babies anyhow. But I am ok with this. Again I feel very blessed to have the LIl one I have!
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  • We are done after this baby.  I have been pregnant 4 times in the last 2 /12 years and I am ready to move on with 2 living babies.  We are also into our later 30's so there are other factors for us to consider.

    Missed m/c discovered 11.30.09 at 9w2d DS Born 10.26.10 Missed m/c discovered 11.7.11 at 8w3d Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • This will 100% be our last pregnancy.  I was just talking to DH about getting "me" back after being pregnant twice in the last 2 1/2 years.  I love being a mom & having kids but I also feel like I'm starting to lose myself, especially since becoming a SAHM.  So, after this LO I want to work on myself (physical & mental), and our relationship.  Get our life back a little bit.




  • This is my last pregnancy. It has been awful to the point where I can't imagine being a good mom to my first child if I were to get pregnant with a second. And I am completely aware my next pregnancy could be worse. We would love to adopt someday, if we can responsibly afford the process and a second child. We haven't decided yet what kind of permanent birth control we will go for.

  • mchupiemchupie member
    Hopefully not! DH wants to field a soccer team lol...I think I'd like 1-2 more.
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    Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3
  • We will probably go for #3 at some point but only after DH finishes school for good (in one year) and finds a full-time job with benefits (he is PT now).  Otherwise, I cannot even fathom affording 3 in daycare, buying new vehicles, etc.  
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  • This is our first so we are going to try for one more maybe a year or so after this LO is born. We have always said we want 2 children.

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  • yes, this is it for me. I have a 14 mo old. We'll prob. do something permanent. I'd like to have 3 but it's not financially set for us to have more. I think dh is going to get snipped soon after delivery
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  • I am 40 so yes this is it for us. If I were younger I may have another.
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  • This is 100% our last.

    It took us a long time to TTC #2. We were undecided on a third so we left it to fate and here we are :)

    Three is more than enough for me. I told DH he is getting the big snip if I have to do it myself with a pair of tweezers and my kitchen shears. I am never doing the m/s thing ever, ever again.

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  • Hopefully not!!  DH and I have always wanted 3 LOs... but I will want to wait a few years after DS2 is born to start TTC #3.  Probably once DS2 is 2.5 to start TTC.
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  • Totally our last. I'm 34 and DH is 44 and a SAHD. We wanted two. For Christmas, DH is getting a vasectomy.
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  • Hopefully not. DH & I want four. My biggest fear is that I won't know when I'm having my last pregnancy. You never know what the future holds. We HOPE to have four, but anything could happen. All I do know is that if DH and I do end up completing our family with four kids, I will be EXTREMELY emotional during my last pregnancy.It's just such an amazing thing, I can't imagine how I'll feel when I know it's my LAST time going through that experience.


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  • This is our fourth, and our last.  It is a little sad though knowing that this is the last time we will be going down ths road.  
  • We will have at least one more...if our third LO is a boy we'll stop at three for sure.  Not quite as certain if the third LO is a girl.  DH wants to be done at three regardless, so we'll see.
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  • Though I didn't know going into it, yes, this is my last pregnancy. DH was on board for two kiddos and I always wanted three. Now that we're getting the two-for-one special, we're finished growing our family. It's definitely bittersweet, but I've been pregnant or nursing (or both) since October of 2009, and I'm kind of looking forward to reclaiming my body sooner than I'd thought.
    BFP #1 10/27/2009 ~ DS1 ~ BIRTHday 7/16/2010 ~ med-free Bradley birth @ 40w5d
    BFP #2 1/22/2012 ~ DS2 & DD ~ BIRTHday 9/13/2012 ~ unplanned C-section @ 38w1d
    BFP #3 5/4/2015 ~ EDD 1/7/2016
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  • This is #4 and final for us.  I will be getting my tubes tied while in my csection.  I am kinda sad that this will be the last time I'm pregnant and our last baby, but I am really ready to move on to the next stage of life.  I have been pregnant for 4 times in 6 years.  When I was pregnant with my 3rd, I was really sad about not knowing if that would be the last one or not (we wanted 4 but weren't sure at the time if we would ever go for the fourth).  I didn't feel done, but this time...I am done.  Still sad, but definitely done. 

     Also, this will be my 4th csection and that's pushing it.  5 would be unsafe.  You will KNOW when you are done

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  • I'm unsure and like OP, kind of sad that I don't know for sure. I feel like I'm not cherishing it the way I should.

    After this pregnancy, I'll be getting BRCA testing done. If I'm positive, we will need to decide about #3 right away. If we decide we are done in that scenario, I'll move forward with proactive measures.  If we are not done, we will try for #3 sooner than we would have.

    If I'm negative, we may take some time to decide. Adoption has always been on the table for us and we would look at an older child after our kids were older. 

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  • I am done!!!! After being told we would never have kids of our own, I am thrilled but also ready to move on from baby world.
    m/c 3/07-7 weeks, m/c 5/07-9 weeks, ds 09/08, ds 05/10, m/c 10/11-9 weeks BabyFruit Ticker
  • We're calling it quits. I always said I wanted 2-4 kids, DH was leaning more toward 2. So we decided that we'd rather have a smaler family and have the means to do some things -- educate them, go on vacation, not have to buy a bigger vehicle just to fit everyone in, etc. We live in a 3-bedroom house and it just seems to make sense for us to not have more than 2 children. Sometimes, I feel a little nostalgic about it. But then I think that it will be nice to not be outnumbered. Smile

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  • Manx4Manx4 member
    We're 99% sure we're done as well, I felt more blissful and "in the moment" with DS - but he was our first so I had time to feel that way.  This one is a blur, I just realized we're at 99 days left and it makes my heart stop sometimes.  I just don't feel ready yet!
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  • We are done! This is our 4th baby and final baby. I had always thought my last baby would come a few years from now but shes coming much sooner than we had planned for! I'm ok with that. I've been pregnant since January of 09. This is my third baby in three years. My body is done. Our lives are babies, kids, and more babies right now. I'm ready to get to a stopping point of the baby stage. Have an older family sounds fantastic! I just have that feeling--I KNOW I am done...just like my dr said I would have when my time came!
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  • Most definately yes! I now feel complete being prego with our baby girl...we have 2 boys and I thought I was done right after I had our 2nd DS but after a couple years just really felt like I wanted one more...took a bit to convince the hubby but yes after this one he is getting the snip snip, I'm too freaked out about tubal pregnancies etc if I were to get my tubes tied.... i want no part of that.  But he volunteered so it's fine by me!
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    Drake 5-26-05

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  • i am not sure . . . i want 3 and so did MH originally . . . but this PG has been REALLY hard on me---to the point where the other day, MH said he's scared to have a third because of it.  even though it's me who suffers physically, he has to pick up a lot of the slack AND watch me disgruntled all the time, so . . . i guess we'll see. 
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