Newborn/Deployment Question — The Bump
Military Families

Newborn/Deployment Question

Hey ladies!

For those of you who had a baby either right before your husband deployed or during - what are some tips you have to try to establish or maintain that connection with dad? Unfortunately Skype is out - but I was trying to think of some ideas - maybe recording him reading a book? I just didn't know what would be the best thing to try since the baby will be a newborn and I'm a first time mom. Thanks!!

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Re: Newborn/Deployment Question

  • If Skype is out, I would use a digial camera and record videos of the baby.  Burn the videos to CD or DVD and ship it to him!  I did this with LO, even though we had Skype, so he'd be able to watch LO on the computer any time he wanted.  For establishing a connection for baby with YH, make some videos of DH (either talking to LO or just in a general setting) and let LO watch them.  Also, make sure you show the baby lots of pictures of YH. 

     So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom"

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  • Kaisa07Kaisa07 member
    My H recorded short videos with his ipod and emailed them to me .. but before he left, he recorded a voice message for DD at build-a-bear .. (poor thing cried in the back room trying to record it) .. so every night at bedtime, she could hear his voice telling her he loved and missed her.  I also kept a "baby" album with pictures of Daddy with us at all times .. you can buy several versions of soft albums to put your own pictures in ..
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  • At our fleet and family, they have a program where dad/mom can record a book and video tape them reading it. Maybe they have that same program on your base?
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  • imageLetsHikeToday:
    At our fleet and family, they have a program where dad/mom can record a book and video tape them reading it. Maybe they have that same program on your base?


    They had this program on my ship during both my deployments, everyone I know that used it loved it. 

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  • I'm in the same boat... hubs has internet access but not Skype access... so some of the things we're planning on/are doing include

    A build a bear with his voice telling her he loves her and such. I'm doing a picture a day after she is born and posting it on Facebook so he can see her grow, and for her I'm doing a picture mobile instead of a regular mobile (there are studies that show that by 6 months most babies can recognize peoples face from photographs). When he actually calls I put the phone on speaker and currently set it on my belly but once she is here I'll just put it where she can hear his voice. I have a recordable book to send him.... the USO has a program where they ca record themselves reading a story and they'll mail it to you (they can do it before they deploy or while in theatre) and the USO also has a partnership with a company that will do a photo book they'll send your husband for free while he's deployed. Another friend had suggested taking a shirt he has worn and without washing it placing it in the crib or somewhere near the baby so they get use to hubbys smell.

    Those are the main things that have been suggested to me and my husband... 

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  • My hubby did an elmo record a story and my now 8 month old lovesss it! DH deployed in november and he was about 2 months old then and i have played it for him every day about 50x a day! 
  • My husband deployed when our son was 2 weeks and then came home a few days after his first birthday. Before he left I had him do a recordable Hallmark storybook and I played them for our son every day. It was actually the only way I could get him to do tummy time. We talked about daddy all the time and looked at pictures often (his first word was even dada!). Whenever my husband was able to call I made sure to hold the phone up to our sons ear so that he could hear his voice.

    My husband did have internet but wasn't able to skype because the connection was so bad. I uploaded videos and pictures to facebook every day so that he could see him grow. I sent e-mails and wrote letters every day and I know my husband really appreciated getting all of the updates on what's going on in our lives.

    Deployments suck especially knowing that your spouse is missing so much. But I know that you can do it! Good luck. 

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  • To be honest I think the whole process is going to be much harder on your husband than on your LO. I'm gearing up for the same thing. My husband  deploys within probably  weeks of delivery and he is concerned that he is going to miss so much and that when he gets home the baby wont know who he is. And he is partly right I mean think the baby goes to who they see everyday but after a few days of your husband being back your LO will take to him. Like PP said pictures and phone calls or recordings will help. 

    Most important in my opinion is going to be the stuff you send to him to make him feel included and like he is not missing out. Of course you can't capture every moment but pictures and short videos will make it easier on him and feel like he isn't missing out on the baby's life!

  • My husband missed the birth of our son last July (his first baby). He met him 3 months later during R&R. I bought a picture frame that you could record (I think I got it at Meijer) He could do that for the baby and you could also send him one with pictures of the baby.

    Another good way to include dad----I bought a first year baby calender and whenever SJ had a first he would write it on the calender and put his own favorite photo at the top of it each month.

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  • We did a record a story book and I would let her listen to it after bathtime every night. 
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