Parenting

Help with 9 yr old being bullied by neighborhood kid ! Long sorry!!

Hello I usually lurk but I am in desperate need of some advice. My 9 year old son is getting bullied by a kid in our neighborhood. Last night my son came in crying because this kid had pushed my son down and started throwing dirt and pine cones and rocks at my son. My son had several cuts on him and was very upset.

I didn't want to over react so I got my son to tell me the whole story and basically this kid and my son were playing they had a race and this kid pushed my son down and my son pushed him back. The kid didn't like that so it escalated to him pushing my son and throwing things at him.  Then this kid took my sons shoes and hid them. 

 I decided to go talk to the kids parents to try to get them to just keep their kid away from mine and I would do the same since this was not the first issue with her son and mine. Well that did  not go well she called me a *** and told me my kid was just a whiny pu$$y and it wasn't always just her kid. Then her husband came out and started yelling at me so I called my husband because I was uncomfortable but I wanted to resolve the situation. This man proceeded to yell at me to " tell him to come on. I'll beat his ass too".  All of this infront of my kid, her kid , and the neighborhood kids that she called to over to verify who started the fight. 

 At that point I decided that these were not rational people and I reiterated the point to keep her son away from mine and I would do the same and I walked away as they continued to yell at me. 

Now I am actually kind of nervous about these people. I am actually at a loss for what to do now. I don't want my kid to be tormented by this child and his parents are obviously not going to do anything.

Anyone have any advice for me?  

Re: Help with 9 yr old being bullied by neighborhood kid ! Long sorry!!

  • Auntie- Thank you so much for the honest reply. I appreciate the input and the sweet comment about my daughter! 

    Unfortunately this isn't an isolated incident. This child has started things with my child on numerous other occasions. That is actually why I have told my son to fight back when this kid goes hands on. Right? probably not but this boy will not stop.  I know my kid can be annoying and I've tried to give him tips and pointers to fit in a little more and he has no other problems with anyone in the neighborhood.  This child has had problems with everyone in our neighborhood. I actually had another parent come to me right after we moved in and tell me to keep my kid away from him. Fortunately my son goes to private school so this kid can't do anything at school it's just at home.

     In  in a prior incident this child pushed my son off his scooter and then proceeded to take my sons scooter and throw it in the lake by our house. This kid will incite "rock fights" with my son being the target, he has thrown drinks on my son, and he has hit my son On numerous occasions. I try to chalk it up to kids being kids but when my kid comes home with cuts and scrapes from this kid I felt like it was going too far   This  is the first time I have gone to his parents and I only did so to ask them to please ask their child to not play with my son anymore. I was very calm and polite my exact words were.   " it's obvious our children can't play together would you please tell him to leave Jack alone and I will tell Jack to leave Joe alone?"  That's when the conversation went south. 

    Was I wrong with that? At what point should I have confronted them? Or should I have at all? 

    Honestly the only reason I went as opposed to my husband is because my husband is 6ft6 and 220 lbs and as a woman I thought he might be intimidating. Am I off base on that?  

    at this point I'm analyzing the situation to see how I can handle it better next time.  

     

  • Auntie- Thank you for the insight! You have been awesome!
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  • I'm sorry but I disagree with Auntie to a point. The dad completely overreacted to what you said and just today I was on his side of this type of interaction..though my son was not being a bully just thoughtless. A mom said to me "I wonder if your son knows how strong he is because our boys were play fighting and your son really hurt my sons wrist". I didn't wig out on her I went over to my son and asked him to keep his hands to himself and apologize for hurting his friend. Does it sting a bit to have someone say something about your kid? Yes, but the fact it my son is strong and he does not know his own strenght sometimes. On the flip side my daughter is being systematically bullied and it has been a nightmare...I can fully identify with what you are dealing with. Bullies become bullies most of the time because their home life is not functional and his dad proved his own bullying and lack of self control tendencies right there in front of you. It's not a shock his own kid behaves as he does.
  • I would file a note with my local police that the bullying happened and that you were verbally assaulted by these people. Check with school. Stay away from these people. Bullies raised by bullies. What horrible people.
  • My 6 year old had a similar situation when he was in kindergarden last year, and unfortunately, I did not handle in the optimal way either. I regret it but I knew I needed to do something for my son, as he had a tendency to respond physically to a bully and (unknowingly) escalate the situation. We investigated ALOT of options (including Boy Scouts - it will be our next step) and decided to try karate (specifically tae kwon do) first. That was just a year ago and my son's confidence has skyrocketed, and he now knows how to diffuse and walk away from a situation rather than responding. He has also learned how to be more focused and his respect levels are WAY better than before. Why we decided to try karate is because of the story our Master told us and how he got involved with karate - he was a single parent and his 3 year old daughter was coming home with slap marks on her cheeks - he enrolled her, and he joined soon after. She is now 25 and a 5th degree black belt and he is about to achieve his 7th degree black belt. We started with the thought of just giving it a try and now, a year later, my son is less than 2 years away from his first degree black belt. I am glad we found something that he loves and keeps him out of trouble. I hope you find a resolution to your situation, too.

    Best of luck! 

    Check out my blog about parenting, weight loss, and achieving goals with family - all through karate!
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