So frustrated

BoilerUp1

Hi ladies.  I'm writing this out of complete frustration and exhaustion.  DS has decided that he hates sleep in every way, shape and form.  Since birth he was an up every 2 hours at night type of kiddo.  However, around 9 weeks he began pretty much STTN and only waking up for one feeding.  Now, he is back to waking up every 2 hours.  On top of that (and more of a frustration for me) is HOW HARD it is to put him down for both bedtime and naptime.  I would say 90% of the time it is a screamfest.  I have read every book on sleep, stocked every thread on these boards and used every suggestion imaginable.... nothing seems to help.  I used to think I was opposed to CIO (no judgment at all to those who do it) but now I find myself counting the days till he is 4 months so I can let him cry without feeling QUITE as guilty about his lack of ability to self-soothe.  I almost ALWAYS catch him before he is over tired and begin our naptime/bedtime routine then.  However, as soon as I start anything that he associates with sleep he starts to cry.  If I put him down, he cries.  If I hold him and rock him he cries, hits, kicks.  If I walk around and pat his back he cries.  You get the idea.  I'm SO tired of fighting with my baby.  I just don't know what to do anymore.  I'm not sure I'm looking for advice (although it is welcome) but just really needed to vent.  It makes me so sad that 50% of our day is spent fighting with one another.  The other times (when he is not tired) he is the happiest, smiliest baby ever...

jmccall79

Awww, hang in there Mama!!!!!!  Just something I've learned about Ian is that he may seem tired, but doesn't really want to go to sleep and doesn't want to play...I'll just lay him in the floor, on my bed, or in his bed and let him just have some quiet time.  It amazed me the first few times I did it because I thought that if he was awake I should be stimulating him with "something"...but then I read in "What To Expect The First Year" that sometimes babies need "down time" and that is stimulating to them just as having toys or something in front of them.  So, the first time I really did it with him, was on our bed because it's an area he's not really in much so everything was kind of new to him.  If he starts getting cranky, and nothing else works, just try laying him somewhere "different" without any real stimulation...Ian often falls asleep on his own when we do this.  Good luck and hang in there!

Lizg1799

I agree with PP.  I was in your situation a few weeks ago.  I was always so afraid over the overtired baby that I guess I was starting his nap routines when I "thought" he was tired.  He would fight me like crazy and I would just cry and cry because I couldn't soothe him.  Now if he fights me, I immediately stop, sit him up and let him stay up.  Since I know that he is close to being tired I always try to do something calm...read a book while rocking him, go outside and rock on our front porch, or just get a toy and let him play with it while on my lap.  I found that if I distract him from thinking that I was "making" him nap that he will eventually give it up and get drowsy.  

Believe me, I was killing myself trying to make him nap.  I finally realized that he will never be anything other than a cat napper.  

Hang in there...i know exactly how you feel.   

btartaroind

Oh gosh, I feel your pain... My baby has finally left the constant neediness/crying stage. It can be soooo frustrating for even the most calm and put togehter mom.

What helped me was (even though he would scream at the top of his lungs) I would put him in his vibrating chair, and bounce it pretty vigorously with my foot. I would sit back and look at my phone or do something that was anything other than looking at the baby. He would scream for maybe a minute, cry for 2, be quiet for 5-10, and then fall asleep. It is a fast, repetitive motion that seemed to calm him. Plus it would give me a minute to sit and try to regroup. I don't think it ever didn't work, and my baby had colic.

Good Luck to you, I hope this phase passes soon!

naturegal79

Aww, that sucks... I have been there I know!!  This may be ruled out by your pedi. but when mine was doing that, I found out he had reflux. Since he has been on zantac, the screaming fits have vanished. I think his throat was burning when I would lay him down after eating. It's just a thought, but may not be the remedy in your case.

MollySm

We have been having this problem at bedtime for the past couple of nights!  It's driving us crazy, especially H who just really only gets to see her at night and for an hour in the morning.  He gets home at 6, and then they have been spending maybe 30 min together before we try bedtime and get a screamfest.  Tonight we're just starting bedtime right at 6 - clearly 6:30 is too late.  I'm hoping it works!

pinkshades05

Wow, I love all of your suggestions! DD isn't great at falling asleep and sometimes the only way I can get her to sleep is to bounce her on the yoga ball. She *loves* it and will just stare off into space for 10-15min before passing out. I don't mind since it's better on my back and legs.

88eve88

BoilerUp1:

 However, around 9 weeks he began pretty much STTN and only waking up for one feeding.  Now, he is back to waking up every 2 hours.  On top of that (and more of a frustration for me) is HOW HARD it is to put him down for both bedtime and naptime.  I would say 90% of the time it is a screamfest.

I think napping/sleeping is one of the hardest things for parents to wrap their heads around because it's so easy for us (adults) to do.  We don't remember how we learned to fall asleep, we just do. It seems like such a simple thing, which makes it that much more frustrating! That being said, my DS is the same way.  It takes me at least 1hr+ to get him to nap and to sleep at night, and once his eyes finally close, my arms are numb and sore from rocking a 16lb baby for 30+ mins.  If he wakes up before I can get him into his crib, crying begins and I have to start over.  I DREAD every nap and bed time because of this.

BoilerUp1:

 I used to think I was opposed to CIO (no judgment at all to those who do it) but now I find myself counting the days till he is 4 months so I can let him cry without feeling QUITE as guilty about his lack of ability to self-soothe.

I was just thinking about this last night and how I can't wait for 4 months to come around so I can try sleep training because I'm at my wits end.  I've never been opposed to CIO, but I didn't think I'd need to use it.  How naive of me.  

Hang in there!  Here's hoping it's just a phase and in the near future, things will be better. Who knew that teaching a baby to sleep would be so difficult?!?! *sigh*

MagickalNarwhal

I just want to say thanks to everyone who posted in this thread. I have been really, really sturggling lately and a lot of it has to do with sleep. I'm exhausted, exasperated, and although it's NOT good that you are all struggling too...it's good to hear that I am not alone. I hope it gets better for ALL of us soon!

BoilerUp1

I agree.  It's good to hear that I'm not the only one although I'm sorry any of us have to go through this. Today has been the worst day yet. It breaks my heart that I am unable to soothe my son.  I understand that he doesn't want to sleep but at this point, all I want him to do is stop screaming.  He seems so unhappy and it makes me feel like a bad mom to see my baby so upset and not be able to do anything about it.  I always heard it's supposed to get better at 12 weeks but this has been almost one of our worst times yet...