September 2012 Moms
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Just, Wow. Totally hurt feelings.

Sorry I've been missing awhile. My DH and I were in Florida :) Loved it.

But, my SIL is 36 weeks and we were talking about her going to the doctor yesterday for an appointment and well, lastnight my DH says "Did you see my sisters Facebook?" And I hadn't so he showed me, and it says... "Well they are inducing me and around 9 they are going to break my water."

Wow. You're getting induced at 36 weeks and nobody can tell us anything? So we are no more important than your 350 Facebook friends? I couldn't believe nobody text us or called us or told us anything and we find out on FACEBOOK. Now, I just don't even feel excited. I was never close to his sisters, but this just really upset me.  My MIL called us this morning to tell us the baby was in the NICU, but only after pictures and everything had already been posted on Facebook (The baby is fine btw, just in NICU for monitoring since she was early and has a bit trouble breathing at first)

IDK. I'm just hurt. We weren't included at all. But... what can ya do. I guess they better not be surprised when they don't find out about our baby being born right away...  

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Re: Just, Wow. Totally hurt feelings.

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    Wow!!  Crazy...I would like to think when my sister goes into labor we would be notified via phone at the very least! My friend from college was induced yesterday evening and she texted me to let me know she was in the hospital being induced; unfortunately I'm too far away to make the trip to see them but have planned on visiting in June instead, but the point is my FRIEND informed me via text before posting it on facebook I just can't believe a family member wouldn't do that.  I would be upset too!!
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    I found out from Facebook that my brother proposed to his girlfriend the night before a few years ago.  It was really disappointing to find out that way when it could have just been one phone call to make to tell me.

    I feel your pain.

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    Give them the benefit of the doubt. She may have been scared and instead of making individual calls she decided to get the news out quickly. Having a baby before 37 weeks is a scary thing especially since you know NICU is involved. I had my son at 36 weeks and he spent time in the NICU. It's not fun and it's very upsetting. Instead of critizing them for their choice of communicating the news, reach out and send a congratulating message and think of your nephew. Remember they aren't you and just because they didn't share the news the way you would have you shouldn't punish them.
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    That stinks!  I'm sorry you feel unincluded!  Sad

    My SIL is due three weeks after me.  We'll probably found out that she's in labor through my MIL.  SIL isn't a big FB poster, so it'll be up after the fact most likely... to be fair though, I texted a few of my friends and my family while I was in early labor... but never SIL.  Not sure if hubby did or not.  But we're not real close (her choice).  She blocked me from seeing anything on her FB wall after I posted a thank you on there one time a few years ago, and she still swears that I'm not blocked.  I can see everything on her page through my DH and my own sister's pages though, so I know for a FACT that I'm blocked.  Owell, I just solved that problem by blocking her in return. Stick out tongue

    I wouldn't let it get to you though.  I'd be more curious/concerned with why they induced at 36 weeks??  I'm glad your niece is doing okay!

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    I didn't call my whole family when I was unexpectedly induced, either. It's not exactly the first thing on your mind at that point. I believe I called my mom after I was admitted to the hospital and DH called his mom at some point. We didn't call anybody else until after several hours after DD was born. Your SIL probably figured that posting on Facebook was the easiest way to spread the info quickly.

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    imageherlysgirly:

    That stinks!  I'm sorry you feel unincluded!  Sad

    My SIL is due three weeks after me.  We'll probably found out that she's in labor through my MIL.  SIL isn't a big FB poster, so it'll be up after the fact most likely... to be fair though, I texted a few of my friends and my family while I was in early labor... but never SIL.  Not sure if hubby did or not.  But we're not real close (her choice).  She blocked me from seeing anything on her FB wall after I posted a thank you on there one time a few years ago, and she still swears that I'm not blocked.  I can see everything on her page through my DH and my own sister's pages though, so I know for a FACT that I'm blocked.  Owell, I just solved that problem by blocking her in return. Stick out tongue

    I wouldn't let it get to you though.  I'd be more curious/concerned with why they induced at 36 weeks??  I'm glad your niece is doing okay!

    I really didn't expect a text directly to me, but to her own brother, yeah. He also has 2 other sisters that were posting on Facebook about it before he or I knew anything about it. So my point is, SOMEONE could have notified us... I couldn't imagine having my baby and not telling my own brother before posting it on Facebook...

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    Honestly I think you're overreacting.  Wish them we and be done with it.  No reason to do tit for tat. 

     

     

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    Families are weird aren't they?!  It sounds from your original post that you guys aren't that close...it seems more weird to me that if the rest of the family knew that one of them didn't text or call you guys.  I would chalk it up to stress and hope that they didn't intentionally leave you guys out, especially if you guys normally have a regular relationship.


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    imagegblake:
    Give them the benefit of the doubt. She may have been scared and instead of making individual calls she decided to get the news out quickly. Having a baby before 37 weeks is a scary thing especially since you know NICU is involved. I had my son at 36 weeks and he spent time in the NICU. It's not fun and it's very upsetting. Instead of critizing them for their choice of communicating the news, reach out and send a congratulating message and think of your nephew. Remember they aren't you and just because they didn't share the news the way you would have you shouldn't punish them.

    Yep, all of this.  

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    Yes

    agreed.  Seems like SOMEone could have told you, since they already knew.  Coming from experience though, it never helps to dwell on it.  I would never dream of leaving my own sisters or brother out of something like this... but not everyone thinks the same as us!

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    Yes

    agreed.  Seems like SOMEone could have told you, since they already knew.  Coming from experience though, it never helps to dwell on it.  I would never dream of leaving my own sisters or brother out of something like this... but not everyone thinks the same as us!

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    imageMarisaKathleen:

    Families are weird aren't they?!  It sounds from your original post that you guys aren't that close...it seems more weird to me that if the rest of the family knew that one of them didn't text or call you guys.  I would chalk it up to stress and hope that they didn't intentionally leave you guys out, especially if you guys normally have a regular relationship.

    Very weird! And it seems more weird to me that some people on here think this is normal, but I suppose every family is different. And no, I'M not close to them, but we talk frequently, we just arn't "buddy buddy" however my DH is very close to his family. So it's so weird that nobody told us anything. Like I said, I really didn't expect her to contact us herself since she was going through a lot, but his 2 other sisters posting how "Exciting to meet their niece" probably could have told us something. Nobody contacted us until this morning... 

    PCOS, Severe Hypertension, Diabetic. Started TTC in 2007.
    (12-2011) 5MG Femara (CD 3-7) w/ Repronex (CD 8-16) HCG trigger (CD 17) = BFP!!
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    imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:
    imagekrissers2012:
    imageMarisaKathleen:

    Families are weird aren't they?!  It sounds from your original post that you guys aren't that close...it seems more weird to me that if the rest of the family knew that one of them didn't text or call you guys.  I would chalk it up to stress and hope that they didn't intentionally leave you guys out, especially if you guys normally have a regular relationship.

    Very weird! And it seems more weird to me that some people on here think this is normal, but I suppose every family is different. And no, I'M not close to them, but we talk frequently, we just arn't "buddy buddy" however my DH is very close to his family. So it's so weird that nobody told us anything. Like I said, I really didn't expect her to contact us herself since she was going through a lot, but his 2 other sisters posting how "Exciting to meet their niece" probably could have told us something. Nobody contacted us until this morning... 

    Given this update, isn't it even more reason to assume that someone just dropped the ball? Maybe Sister A thought Mom was calling you, and Sister B though Sister A was calling you, and Mom thought Sister B was doing it. Why on earth would they, if they've been close, suddenly drop your husband out of the loop intentionally? You're jumping to conclusions. 

     Well, since I know they family and all you know is from the little I have said, I think I would be able to tell more than you if it was done intentionally or not. And well,  I truly believe it was. I really could explain WHY I believe so but it doesn't mater. I don't care if you don't agree with my feelings, my feelings still stand that it was rude. And I'm not going to go out of my way to "get even" when my baby is born but I'm sure as hell not going to go out of my way to announce to them directly because I already know I will most likely have a last min induction as she did (I have a lot of health reasons) and well, I'm not going to go out of my way to tell anybody but my own mother and father and my own siblings, before this happened I would have made sure they all knew, but at this point it doesn't mater as much to me, agree or not. 

    PCOS, Severe Hypertension, Diabetic. Started TTC in 2007.
    (12-2011) 5MG Femara (CD 3-7) w/ Repronex (CD 8-16) HCG trigger (CD 17) = BFP!!
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    imagekrissers2012:

     Well, since I know they family and all you know is from the little I have said, I think I would be able to tell more than you if it was done intentionally or not. And well,  I truly believe it was. I really could explain WHY I believe so but it doesn't mater. I don't care if you don't agree with my feelings, my feelings still stand that it was rude. And I'm not going to go out of my way to "get even" when my baby is born but I'm sure as hell not going to go out of my way to announce to them directly because I already know I will most likely have a last min induction as she did (I have a lot of health reasons) and well, I'm not going to go out of my way to tell anybody but my own mother and father and my own siblings, before this happened I would have made sure they all knew, but at this point it doesn't mater as much to me, agree or not. 

    That is childish. Your feelings may be hurt but I think you'll understand better when your own child is born that the feelings of others being excluded from a personal phone call is the last thing on your mind. And the comment you made, you're going to let this dictate how you inform your family or YH husband's family? I really hope you get over this before your baby is born.

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    Wow, OP! Please continue to make this about you and not your nephew lying in NICU. Grow up. If you want some possible prospective of what your in- laws maybe feeling right now wander over to the preemies board. I really can't believe you can't get past the fact the family phone tree didn't work. So someone dropped the ball? Big f'ing deal. I'm sure the 'pain' you are feeling right now doesn't even equate to what this new family is feeling with their newborn in NICU.
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    imagegblake:
    Wow, OP! Please continue to make this about you and not your nephew lying in NICU. Grow up. If you want some possible prospective of what your in- laws maybe feeling right now wander over to the preemies board. I really can't believe you can't get past the fact the family phone tree didn't work. So someone dropped the ball? Big f'ing deal. I'm sure the 'pain' you are feeling right now doesn't even equate to what this new family is feeling with their newborn in NICU.

    *ahem* The baby is a girl. :)

    But I agree with you.

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    Oops, thanks for that catch numb3rMel.

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    imagegblake:
    Wow, OP! Please continue to make this about you and not your nephew lying in NICU. Grow up. If you want some possible prospective of what your in- laws maybe feeling right now wander over to the preemies board. I really can't believe you can't get past the fact the family phone tree didn't work. So someone dropped the ball? Big f'ing deal. I'm sure the 'pain' you are feeling right now doesn't even equate to what this new family is feeling with their newborn in NICU.

    Lol oh come on. And I don't need "prospective" all my nieces have spent time in the NICU when they were born so I do understand. My niece who is now a year and a half has a very rare chronic lung disease and spent 3 months in the NICU when she was born and wasn't expected to live, I'm not an idiot.l However this niece is doing fine, I honestly am not sure why she is still in the NICU. It's not like I am going around acting like I don't care, I have told them congrats and am going later to see the baby. I haven't said anything to them about being upset because of the situation, but I posted here about it because it would be a lie if I said it didn't hurt my feelings how they acted. BTW, I still don't think she is "in pain" like most would be, she was hoping to go into preterm labor and even posted on Facebook she wanted to go into labor, and was excited to get induced early. This isn't a normal family, I have posted many times about this sister being nuts.   

    PCOS, Severe Hypertension, Diabetic. Started TTC in 2007.
    (12-2011) 5MG Femara (CD 3-7) w/ Repronex (CD 8-16) HCG trigger (CD 17) = BFP!!
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    imagenumb3rMel:
    imagekrissers2012:

     Well, since I know they family and all you know is from the little I have said, I think I would be able to tell more than you if it was done intentionally or not. And well,  I truly believe it was. I really could explain WHY I believe so but it doesn't mater. I don't care if you don't agree with my feelings, my feelings still stand that it was rude. And I'm not going to go out of my way to "get even" when my baby is born but I'm sure as hell not going to go out of my way to announce to them directly because I already know I will most likely have a last min induction as she did (I have a lot of health reasons) and well, I'm not going to go out of my way to tell anybody but my own mother and father and my own siblings, before this happened I would have made sure they all knew, but at this point it doesn't mater as much to me, agree or not. 

    That is childish. Your feelings may be hurt but I think you'll understand better when your own child is born that the feelings of others being excluded from a personal phone call is the last thing on your mind. And the comment you made, you're going to let this dictate how you inform your family or YH husband's family? I really hope you get over this before your baby is born.


    ? Sooo, you're telling me that it isn't a big deal that I wasn't contacted and that when my baby is born I'll understand better "that the feelings of others being excluded from a personal phone call" will be the last thing on my mind? Yet you still think it would be ridiculous if I didn't contact them, even though that's exactly what happened to me? So it's not ridiculous that she did it, but it will be if I do it? I also mentioned I know she did it intentionally and out of spite but that's a whole nother story I'm not getting into, so the situation would be exactly the same. You just think it's okay for her but "ridiculous" for me. Yeah, okay. 


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    Well, krissers it sounds like you're well versed in NICU life. You do know that 37 weeks is considered full term then so the fact that she had a baby before that time means the baby is not full term. Standard Operating Procedure would call for a 36 weeker to be in NICU.
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    Sorry, but your feelings don't top her birth experience and how she chooses to share it with people.

    Get over it, be happy for her.

    Tit for tat won't get you anywhere, except further apart.

    And even more, if you aren't that close, why are your feeling so hurt?  I could see your husband feeling a little jaded, but really.... if you aren't super close, why are you so upset about it?

    Let her enjoy her baby, you enjoy yours and then when everything is stabilizes, maybe you should discuss the type of relationship you with your sister in law.

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    So instead of being the bigger person and doing what you would have liked to have happened to yo/your husband, you're going to go down the same road. 

    Very adult of you. 

     

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    ckred27ckred27 member
    When I went into labor with DS the last thing on my mind was making sure every one knew. DH was with me and I called my mom and that was it...was a lil busy giving birth :) I think my mom started a phone tree or something, but honestly have no idea. So I kinda would have to side w your SIL on this one, its def one of those times you do NOT think of other people, and rightly so.

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    imagekrissers2012:
    ? Sooo, you're telling me that it isn't a big deal that I wasn't contacted and that when my baby is born I'll understand better "that the feelings of others being excluded from a personal phone call" will be the last thing on my mind? Yet you still think it would be ridiculous if I didn't contact them, even though that's exactly what happened to me? So it's not ridiculous that she did it, but it will be if I do it? I also mentioned I know she did it intentionally and out of spite but that's a whole nother story I'm not getting into, so the situation would be exactly the same. You just think it's okay for her but "ridiculous" for me. Yeah, okay. 

    Not what I said at all. But then again, not sure you'd understand. You're not being rationale about this situation at all so I don't expect you'd understand that the birth of that child was not about you or your husband so...

    And wow, way to downplay newborns in the NICU. You're right, I'm sure the DRs use the NICU just for giggles.

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    Come on people.

    Really.

    First of all, no, I'm not trying to be "the adult" or "the bigger person" and never claimed to.

    I'm not downplaying babies being in the NICU, but if the own mother of the child isn't upset AT ALL or worried AT ALL about the baby and is telling everyone the baby is doing fantastic and all is okay, why should I worry?

     Again, I have never acted upset over the situation to her or anybody in the family because I understanddddd it is what it is and how she decided to do it, but that doesn't change the fact that it upsets me and I think it was a rude way about it. I mean, if she had time to call all her sisters and update her Facebook status, I'm sure she had time to text her own brother. She would be livid if we didn't inform her of something like this, and that is why it upsets me that she didn't give us the same respect she expects from us. 

     Sure, I'm at the point of the pregnancy that I hate everyone and everyone really irritates me, but everyone complains on here about stupid crap but the difference if I have better things to do than to argue with someone about what and why something upsets them. 

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    And from personal experience, when I had my last daughter, my DH and I kept it to ourselves and our parents - we expected our parents to do the phone chain thing.  I had a scheduled c/s so everyone knew the day baby would come - however it did not stop his grandmother from sending H an awful email about how she thinks he doesn't view her as important or family because we didn't call her right after the birth.  (we were planning on calling people when we got home) Guess where her awful tit for tat email got her?  NO WHERE but further from her grandson (and g-grandchildren), who was worried about his wife and new baby and taking care of his daughter at home... we rarely talk to her now, which is unfortunate.  Obviously the birth of our 2nd child was supposed to be more about HER then US or the baby...

    Normal functioning human beings send flowers or well wishes, forget about their "hurt feelings" at least until an appropriate time to communicate them in an adult manner and give someone the chance to truely apologize.  But, see, not everyone has the ability to look beyond their own feelings.

    So.  If you want to have a good relationship with her, step up and be happy for her and communicate this situation at a later time (if needed) in the future...

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    imageblack.kat:

    Normal functioning human beings send flowers or well wishes, forget about their "hurt feelings" at least until an appropriate time to communicate them in an adult manner and give someone the chance to truely apologize.  But, see, not everyone has the ability to look beyond their own feelings.

    So.  If you want to have a good relationship with her, step up and be happy for her and communicate this situation at a later time (if needed) in the future...

    Have you read ANYTHING I've said. I said that I have talked to her, told her congrats, am going to see the baby, and haven't said a word about being upset to her. The ONLY time I have said anything about being upset about it WAS ON HERE. So how the hell should I step up? I'm doing everything you mentioned. The only difference is I complained to a bunch of strangers on The Bump who have nothing to do with the family and are taking more offense to it than if I DID say anything to her. Jessshhhhhhh 

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    imagekrissers2012:

    Come on people.

    Really.

    First of all, no, I'm not trying to be "the adult" or "the bigger person" and never claimed to.

    I'm not downplaying babies being in the NICU, but if the own mother of the child isn't upset AT ALL or worried AT ALL about the baby and is telling everyone the baby is doing fantastic and all is okay, why should I worry?

     Again, I have never acted upset over the situation to her or anybody in the family because I understanddddd it is what it is and how she decided to do it, but that doesn't change the fact that it upsets me and I think it was a rude way about it. I mean, if she had time to call all her sisters and update her Facebook status, I'm sure she had time to text her own brother. She would be livid if we didn't inform her of something like this, and that is why it upsets me that she didn't give us the same respect she expects from us. 

     Sure, I'm at the point of the pregnancy that I hate everyone and everyone really irritates me, but everyone complains on here about stupid crap but the difference if I have better things to do than to argue with someone about what and why something upsets them. 

    Yes, you can complain and on some level you are right, BUT not everyone will handle things the way you want them to.  What you can control is how you react.  Hopefully you are getting out a lot of your frustration on here, so you can handle it the best way possible.  Don't get so caught up in the drama... if you want a relationship with her, then focus on that and pave the way - starting HERE - to getting to a good place with her.

    We aren't picking on you...

    I really hope you can look past all of it and accept that it wasn't handled how YOU would, but you can't control it, but you can control how you react.  I hope you can learn something from my above post about my H's grandma... it really ruined a lot of the relationship by how she so quickly criticized my H, when all she had to do was swallow her pride and be happy for us, whether or not she had her hand held the way she wanted it when our baby was born.  We would have a MUCH better relationship...

    But you are going to do what you want to do.

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    imagekrissers2012:
    imageblack.kat:

    Normal functioning human beings send flowers or well wishes, forget about their "hurt feelings" at least until an appropriate time to communicate them in an adult manner and give someone the chance to truely apologize.  But, see, not everyone has the ability to look beyond their own feelings.

    So.  If you want to have a good relationship with her, step up and be happy for her and communicate this situation at a later time (if needed) in the future...

    Have you read ANYTHING I've said. I said that I have talked to her, told her congrats, am going to see the baby, and haven't said a word about being upset to her. The ONLY time I have said anything about being upset about it WAS ON HERE. So how the hell should I step up? I'm doing everything you mentioned. The only difference is I complained to a bunch of strangers on The Bump who have nothing to do with the family and are taking more offense to it than if I DID say anything to her. Jessshhhhhhh 

    I missed that part.  Good I am glad that you kept it positive.  Just keep in mind though, that if you keep focusing on it negatively, even on here, it will still feed into that negative behavior and attitude that won't get you close to her.  BELIEVE me, my H's family is great at that stuff!

    GL!

     

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    imagekrissers2012:

    Come on people.

    Really.

    First of all, no, I'm not trying to be "the adult" or "the bigger person" and never claimed to.

    I'm not downplaying babies being in the NICU, but if the own mother of the child isn't upset AT ALL or worried AT ALL about the baby and is telling everyone the baby is doing fantastic and all is okay, why should I worry?

     Again, I have never acted upset over the situation to her or anybody in the family because I understanddddd it is what it is and how she decided to do it, but that doesn't change the fact that it upsets me and I think it was a rude way about it. I mean, if she had time to call all her sisters and update her Facebook status, I'm sure she had time to text her own brother. She would be livid if we didn't inform her of something like this, and that is why it upsets me that she didn't give us the same respect she expects from us. 

     Sure, I'm at the point of the pregnancy that I hate everyone and everyone really irritates me, but everyone complains on here about stupid crap but the difference if I have better things to do than to argue with someone about what and why something upsets them. 

    Look. You can feel however you want and do whatever you want but when anyone comes on the board and vents about something so petty, you know the board calls them out on it. I agree you never said you were trying to be the bigger person but in that case, did you really think posting on here was going to get you empathy?

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    Enough of this woe is me, geez! The woman just gave birth, let her have her moment without you taking her actions personally. You've mentioned more than once that you weren't close so what's the big freaking deal? I don't think anyone is saying this is normal, just that you shouldn't take it personally. Had it been your best friend, then I would agree with you. Be happy for her, go see your niece, and hey, if you choose to not tell them personally about your child's birth, then that's up to you. However, if you're going to do it because you feel like she personally excluded you, then that's a little juvenile. That's my opinion, and if you don't want opinions, then don't share your life stories on a public forum such as this.

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    imagenumb3rMel:
    imagekrissers2012:

    Come on people.

    Really.

    First of all, no, I'm not trying to be "the adult" or "the bigger person" and never claimed to.

    I'm not downplaying babies being in the NICU, but if the own mother of the child isn't upset AT ALL or worried AT ALL about the baby and is telling everyone the baby is doing fantastic and all is okay, why should I worry?

     Again, I have never acted upset over the situation to her or anybody in the family because I understanddddd it is what it is and how she decided to do it, but that doesn't change the fact that it upsets me and I think it was a rude way about it. I mean, if she had time to call all her sisters and update her Facebook status, I'm sure she had time to text her own brother. She would be livid if we didn't inform her of something like this, and that is why it upsets me that she didn't give us the same respect she expects from us. 

     Sure, I'm at the point of the pregnancy that I hate everyone and everyone really irritates me, but everyone complains on here about stupid crap but the difference if I have better things to do than to argue with someone about what and why something upsets them. 

    Look. You can feel however you want and do whatever you want but when anyone comes on the board and vents about something so petty, you know the board calls them out on it. I agree you never said you were trying to be the bigger person but in that case, did you really think posting on here was going to get you empathy?

    Yeah, I did think that SOMEONE would agree that is a upsetting way to learn about your niece being born. I am never included in anything with his family and this was the last straw to put me over the edge so I suppose maybe that is why nobody is understanding. Maybe my family is just way different than his, I mean MY mom makes a point to try to be close to his sisters because that is just how we are. Ever since I've been pregnant not one of his sisters have acted excited, told me congrats, etc. And despite all of that I have tried hard to be involved with their kids and pregnancies and this, just put me over. I mean, how much effort can a person put into a relationship before they just get sick of it? 

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    imageblack.kat:

    Sorry, but your feelings don't top her birth experience and how she chooses to share it with people.

    Get over it, be happy for her.

    Tit for tat won't get you anywhere, except further apart.

    And even more, if you aren't that close, why are your feeling so hurt?  I could see your husband feeling a little jaded, but really.... if you aren't super close, why are you so upset about it?

    Let her enjoy her baby, you enjoy yours and then when everything is stabilizes, maybe you should discuss the type of relationship you with your sister in law.

    Well holy sh!t. I'm going to do something I never thought possible: agree with black.kat. Well said.

    And fwiw, before DD was born I didn't even call my own family. I was told I was going to have a c section (under general, due to lovenox, just like your SIL), so I was busy conferring with the nicu team about what to expect. I had dh call my parents and then assumed they would spread the news to the rest of the family. I guess I'm glad my ILs didn't write me off for being "selfish" since I didn't send them a singing telegram telling them I was going to give birth.  

    And, there's no "safe zone" in the nicu world until after that baby is discharged. You just don't understand, and I hope you never will. 


    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
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    Point is you're being immature in saying that maybe you'll do the same thing when it's time for your baby to be born. 

     

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    imagemrsh0606:

    Point is you're being immature in saying that maybe you'll do the same thing when it's time for your baby to be born. 

     

    I'm not saying that I am going to do it, I'm not saying maybe I'll do it. I said that I'm by no means not going to go out of my way to contact them. It all depends on what happens with my pregnancy which could be anything with my health problems, but all I am saying is I'm no longer going to make telling all of them a top priority. I've tried hard to be close to them and it's apparently gotten me no where. All I'm saying, is I'm done trying to be the good guy.  

    PCOS, Severe Hypertension, Diabetic. Started TTC in 2007.
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    imagekrissers2012:

    I'm not downplaying babies being in the NICU, but if the own mother of the child isn't upset AT ALL or worried AT ALL about the baby and is telling everyone the baby is doing fantastic and all is okay, why should I worry?

    There's something called "putting on a brave face". When people asked how DD and I were doing, it was much easier to say "fine" or "great". Sometimes you just don't want to have a long drawn out conversation and educate people on the difference between a cpap and cannula is or what a ROP exam entails or any of the other standard nicu crap.

    Only the most heartless (or emotionally shut down) person would not feel anything by visiting their baby in a nicu bay instead of the standard nursery.  


    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
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    imagemrsh0606:

    Point is you're being immature in saying that maybe you'll do the same thing when it's time for your baby to be born. 

    I kinda agree with this. An emergency situation is different; who knows what she was thinking. Maybe she thought that her parents would call your husband and spread the news that way, but again - no telling.

    I can understand you being upset. I found out my grandfather passed away on FB before anyone could call my dad and let him know, so I wound up breaking the news to my dad about what I'd found out. We were all pissed about it, but there was a misunderstanding, and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you found out - it happened, so time to move on. Dwelling won't make anything better. I know it'd irritate me for a few days though.

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    imagekrissers2012:
    imagemrsh0606:

    Point is you're being immature in saying that maybe you'll do the same thing when it's time for your baby to be born. 

     

    I'm not saying that I am going to do it, I'm not saying maybe I'll do it. I said that I'm by no means not going to go out of my way to contact them. It all depends on what happens with my pregnancy which could be anything with my health problems, but all I am saying is I'm no longer going to make telling all of them a top priority. I've tried hard to be close to them and it's apparently gotten me no where. All I'm saying, is I'm done trying to be the good guy.  

    This is what you said....

    "I guess they better not be surprised when they don't find out about our baby being born right away..."

    That right there says to me that you're not going to tell them right away when your baby is born. 

    I don't really care if you see it or not, but that is being immature.

     

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    imagedamabo80:
    imagekrissers2012:

    I'm not downplaying babies being in the NICU, but if the own mother of the child isn't upset AT ALL or worried AT ALL about the baby and is telling everyone the baby is doing fantastic and all is okay, why should I worry?

    There's something called "putting on a brave face". When people asked how DD and I were doing, it was much easier to say "fine" or "great". Sometimes you just don't want to have a long drawn out conversation and educate people on the difference between a cpap and cannula is or what a ROP exam entails or any of the other standard nicu crap.

    Only the most heartless (or emotionally shut down) person would not feel anything by visiting their baby in a nicu bay instead of the standard nursery.  

    This girl is way different though, she has been super dramatic her entire pregnancy trying to get attention. She was excited to be induced early, and previous to this was hoping to go into preterm labor. I don't understand it, but it's who she is. So, I would say that she is heartless enough to not be upset by it. I was really worried when I found out, but from all the Facebook statuses she has posted today, the baby seems to be doing wonderfully. Of course I will know for sure myself when I get there later, but believe me, I'm not trying to downplay it. They have told me it is VERY likely my baby will be in the NICU with the diabetes (since their lungs don't develop quite like they should with diabetes) so I'm not trying to appear like the NICU doesn't mater.  

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    (12-2011) 5MG Femara (CD 3-7) w/ Repronex (CD 8-16) HCG trigger (CD 17) = BFP!!
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    PokedotPokedot member

    That does stink and you should be hurt to a certain extent. Unfortunately people use social media for everything these days. About 2 years ago a colleague of mine's wife was pregnant with twins. She went into preterm labor and decided that posting everything that was going on was the best way to communicate. I get telling people what happened (unfortunately the babies did not make it) but why not keep that between family. Or at least let a family member know and have them contact others especially your siblings!

     

     

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