How would you handle this teacher situation? long, sorry. — The Bump
School-Aged Children

How would you handle this teacher situation? long, sorry.

How should I address this issue with my DD's teacher.  Should I approach the teacher, the AP or just let it go because I am overreacting.

DD goes to a public school that has a mandatory uniform policy.  Basically its specific colored polo or collared shirts with khaki or navy bottoms (shorts, pants, jumpers or skirts).  There is no specification as to length, but the pants must sit at the waist and not drag on the floor (no saggy pants).  On Fridays the kids that pay $1 (as a 5th grade fundraiser) can wear jeans or denim bottoms and a t-shirt.  Last week DD wore some denim shorts and a t-shirt.  The shorts were a normal mid to upper thigh length.  They had extra long pockets that stuck out the bottoms with sequins covering the parts that stuck out.  The pockets were made extra long to stick out and the shorts are the same length as uniform shorts she's been wearing all year.  In any event, last Friday the teacher took her down the hall to another classroom and in front of the other class asked that teacher if she thought my DD's shorts were appropriate and made her turn around to show the shorts in front of that class.  My DD was completely embarrassed, but she said the other teacher said she "looked cute" and DD and her teacher headed back to class. I think it could have and should have been handled in a different manner and if the teacher thought DD looked inappropriate for school, why not send her to the office and let them handle it if there was some kind of dress code violation or call me to have me bring her a different pair or something.  

ETA - I'm easily approachable and always at the school volunteering and I'm on the PTA board so it's not like the teacher never sees me and we have chatted frequently throughout the year.   

Re: How would you handle this teacher situation? long, sorry.

  • imageEmpireMomof3:

    Shorts that are short enough to show pockets out the bottom of them are TOO SHORT for any school district - uniform policy or not. You should NOT have let her go to school in them. 

    ETA: regardless if the pockets were "extra long" to purposely show. That whole look for shorts is trashy. 

    I agree, I would blame myself for making a bad judgement call and let it go. Was the teacher right? No, but you have one side of the story. Save the shorts for summer.
  • I disagree with the other two responses.  Those shorts sound cute!  And if they are the same length as the uniform shorts then they are not too short.  Having the pockets hang out is very "in" fashion - especially since they were decorated with sequins.

    But the issue really is that the teacher did handle it wrong.  I would definitely do/say something!

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • Could the teacher have handled this more professionally and discretely?  Yes.

    Do I think you should make a big deal about it? No.  Not at this point in the year. There's nothing the teacher can do to remedy the situation now.

    I agree that shorts with pockets that stick out of the legs are probably not the best choice in a school that is obviously concerned enough about dress code to adopt a uniform.  Even if the shorts are actually pretty long, pockets sticking out from the bottom is a way of saying "look how short these shorts are!"  The whole purpose of that style is to call attention to the length of the shorts and give the illusion that they're shorter than they actually are.

    It seems like the length of the shorts isn't the problem at this school, since kids are allowed to wear shorts.  What the school seems to be going for is a more conservative, "preppy" style of dress. Live and learn.  

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • oprastroprastr member

    First as a step-mom of an 11 year old, shorts where the pockets show are not allowed.  Even if they are long enough to be appropriate I agree with the PP that said the whole point of those sort of short is to suggest that they are short and skimpy.  Probably would have been better to save these particular shorts for the beach.  Sorry, a little OT, but I get so frustrated that so many bottoms are so short out there.  My poor step daughter has the longest skinniest legs in the world and EVERYTHING seems to short on her :(

    Second, as a teacher, if you do feel the need to discuss this with someone, please talk to the teacher first.  Do NOT take this the wrong way ( I am NOT implying that your daughter lied about what happened), but sometimes a childs perception of what happened and the actual event are very differet.  As a highly trained professional I get very offended when a parent takes a concern to someone "above" me.  If you are that concerned please talk to the teacher first and get her side of the story.  Chances are pretty good that she would be happy to discuss this issue with you.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • They make shorts with pockets hanging out of the bottom?  And they bling them?  I've never seen such a thing.  Indifferent
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • imageshouldbworkin:
    They make shorts with pockets hanging out of the bottom?  And they bling them?  I've never seen such a thing.  Indifferent

    Short shorts are not ok for school especially one with uniforms. The teacher was wrong to embarrass the student but assuming this never happened before and the year is almost over I would let it slide bc teachers talk and you do not want her to be know by teachers as the girl with in appropriate shorts with the PITA Mom even if you are right to complain.  

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • imageshouldbworkin:
    They make shorts with pockets hanging out of the bottom?  And they bling them?  I've never seen such a thing.  Indifferent

    Short shorts are not ok for school especially one with uniforms. The teacher was wrong to embarrass the student but assuming this never happened before and the year is almost over I would let it slide bc teachers talk and you do not want her to be know by teachers as the girl with in appropriate shorts with the PITA Mom even if you are right to complain.  

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • imageshouldbworkin:
    They make shorts with pockets hanging out of the bottom?  And they bling them?  I've never seen such a thing.  Indifferent

    Is it odd that this is what I got stuck on? I had no idea they made these and can't for the life of me imagine buying them. I HATE the pockets sticking out look.

     

    As far as saying something to the teacher, I wouldn't. You have at most 2 weeks of school left? Just let it go and next time rethink her casual outfit. It was wrong the way she handled it, but not worth the fight right now. And I'll fight about lots of stuff!

  • imageQtGinaJ:

    I disagree with the other two responses.  Those shorts sound cute!  And if they are the same length as the uniform shorts then they are not too short.  Having the pockets hang out is very "in" fashion - especially since they were decorated with sequins.

    But the issue really is that the teacher did handle it wrong.  I would definitely do/say something!

    Agreed.
    Me 30, DH 34
    Met 12-2008, Married 05-2010, TTC 08-2017
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers 
  • In all honesty, the shorts are not something I'd purchase.  They are however, the same length as her other uniform shorts.  As a matter of fact, they were a gift, given by her BFF (who has the same pair and whose mother is a teacher at the same school).  We live in South Florida and its been in the upper 80's here.  She has PE in the heat of the day, so shorts are what she prefers (as do the majority of the children in the school).   

    My concern was how it was handled, which was obviously wrong.  It was fortunate that the other teacher stuck up for her and lessened her embarrassment by saying she was as "cute as a button" so I am thankful for that.

    ETA: And to all you judgy pearl clutchers, Miami is probably not the place for you. I would also avoid the A & F stores, you might go into shock.   

  • MrsSRMrsSR member

    As a teacher, please don't go above the teacher and talk to the principal or someone else.

    Go to her if you have an issue.

  • I didn't read all of the replies.  The length of the shorts aside, I think there needs to be a more regulated dress code for Fridays (such as a specific length etc) and I think something needs to be said to the teacher and AP, not so much to get the teacher into trouble but maybe to prevent it from happening again to another student next year, and IMO she needs to apologize to your DD for embarassing her and being unprofessional (I don't feel that the manner in which she got another opinion was professional). 
  • imageMagicCityMomma:

    In all honesty, the shorts are not something I'd purchase.  They are however, the same length as her other uniform shorts.  As a matter of fact, they were a gift, given by her BFF (who has the same pair and whose mother is a teacher at the same school).  We live in South Florida and its been in the upper 80's here.  She has PE in the heat of the day, so shorts are what she prefers (as do the majority of the children in the school).   

    My concern was how it was handled, which was obviously wrong.  It was fortunate that the other teacher stuck up for her and lessened her embarrassment by saying she was as "cute as a button" so I am thankful for that.

    ETA: And to all you judgy pearl clutchers, Miami is probably not the place for you. I would also avoid the A & F stores, you might go into shock.   

    Um I live in Texas and it is hotter then hell here there is still is no way I am letting my kid wear shorts short enough for the pocket to hang out to school. Just because they make trashy tween clothes does not mean I have to buy it, or think it is cute when kids wear it.
  • imageMagicCityMomma:


    ETA: And to all you judgy pearl clutchers, Miami is probably not the place for you. I would also avoid the A & F stores, you might go into shock.   

    Oh so you're one of THOSE kind of people who get pissed when people don't agree.

    You are right about one thing...there is no way in hell I would buy my child anything from AF. A distaste for cheap tacky looking crap on my child doesn't make me a pearl clutcher. It makes my child look like a child...which is a-ok with me. 

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards