Nobody ever wants to talk about success stories...

chicagocubsfan23

Pretty much everybody I know, including coworkers, have asked me if I plan on breastfeeding. I do plan to give it a go and really hope I can be successful at it. I've read a lot on it, DH and I went to a class, and I plan to make good use of the lactation consultants while still in the hospital. But everybody who asks ends up telling me their stories on how they tried but couldn't do it because the baby didn't like it or they didn't produce enough milk. I'm really trying to go into this thing confident so that I can succeed but all these breastfeeding failure stories are starting to get to me. Even my own mom is telling me all about how she tried with me but she just couldn't do it. Thanks for the support guys....

sassafras007

Breastfeeding is hard and it MIGHT not work. However, I would suggest seeing a olactation consultant right away and checking what you are doing when baby comes...

hulagirl94

I had a really easy time with it, right from the beginning.  I never took the course, or read books.  He just latched right on and it was smoothe sailing from there.  So much so that I did it for a full year (and probably could have kept going.)  Don't let people discourage you, it can be a wonerful (and easy) process!

strawberrytree

Aw, that sucks that everybody is being so negative about it. I'm having the opposite problem with my mom- she keeps telling me how easy and convenient it is and how I won't have any problems because she didn't have a single issue and BF three babies until a year old (which was totally insane in the 80s). I appreciate her confidence and it's nice to hear success stories, but I'm nervous that I won't have as easy a time with it as she did.

I know my community has tons of free breastfeeding clinics put on by community programs, and the hospital runs one, as does the local natural parenting store- do you have access to programs like that? I definitely plan to take advantage of them and any advice my doula has as well. 

Miss Maverick

I had my little one early and so far I think BF is working. Some sessions are harder than others, but she is gaining weight and I am producing enough milk that I do not have to supplement anymore. It has not been easy, but for almost 2 weeks as a FTM I am feeling good about it.

PregNerd

I hope when people share their struggles they are coming at it from the perspective of 'it didn't work for me and I want you to know you are not alone or a failure if you are unable to do it' or 'these were my struggles/mistakes - I hope you can learn from them and have your own success story' instead of 'don't waste your time because it's pointless and I'll judge you if you do' or something equally as horrible.

 Hearing it all the time is hard - but you have a really good plan - and that will see you through more than anything. You know what you want, you know what resources are there and have plans to use them - these are all things that are going to help make your story different than theirs.

As much as you will be able to appreciate their struggles, just like every pregnancy is different, so is every BFing experience. 

I wish you well on this - I will be right there with you

chouli77

Please don't let other people get you down. You sound like you're going into it with an education and a positive attitude. That's all you can do. Remember...before formula was invented....BFing worked.

kimmyg000

Well I will tell you I was a success story and I loved it. One of my friends did it before me and she was really encouraging and helpful. I was the same way with my other friend who had a baby after me which she thanks me all the time. So try to support yourself with people who are really positive about it and your lactation consultant if you have problems. And don't give up, it can be a challenge and in the first couple weeks you may want to throw in the towel, but once you get past that it is so worth it. GL!

chicagocubsfan23

strawberrytree:

Aw, that sucks that everybody is being so negative about it. I'm having the opposite problem with my mom- she keeps telling me how easy and convenient it is and how I won't have any problems because she didn't have a single issue and BF three babies until a year old (which was totally insane in the 80s). I appreciate her confidence and it's nice to hear success stories, but I'm nervous that I won't have as easy a time with it as she did.

I know my community has tons of free breastfeeding clinics put on by community programs, and the hospital runs one, as does the local natural parenting store- do you have access to programs like that? I definitely plan to take advantage of them and any advice my doula has as well. 

My hospital offers lactation consultants that I can call even after we go home and it is free to meet with them. They have a group that meets but it is in the afternoon on a weekday. I plan to go to a few of them before I go back to work, but once I'm back at work I won't be able to attend them. I'm hoping that after 8 weeks of being able to attend those meetings before I go back to work should get me to the point where I'm comfortable with everything!

Still free to be me

I am another success story.  I exclusively and extendedly (I don't care that I made up that word!) breastfed/feed my not quite three year old.  She latched on at the hospital just fine, I had a little soreness during the first two or three weeks, but nothing crazy, no infections, no yeast, no problems.  She still nurses about once every day or two (not often since I am pregnant) and seems pretty happy about it.  I am guessing that she will nurse more for a while after the baby is born. 

I intend to EBF the new baby as well.

I have a lot of really supportive friends who also E/EBF.  My DD only has two friends her age who don't nurse anymore!

My advice is to go on the assumption that you will be able to breastfeed, and to line up help/support, just in case...La Leche League and our public health nurses have been great.

chicagocubsfan23

PregNerd:

I hope when people share their struggles they are coming at it from the perspective of 'it didn't work for me and I want you to know you are not alone or a failure if you are unable to do it' or 'these were my struggles/mistakes - I hope you can learn from them and have your own success story' instead of 'don't waste your time because it's pointless and I'll judge you if you do' or something equally as horrible.

 Hearing it all the time is hard - but you have a really good plan - and that will see you through more than anything. You know what you want, you know what resources are there and have plans to use them - these are all things that are going to help make your story different than theirs.

As much as you will be able to appreciate their struggles, just like every pregnancy is different, so is every BFing experience. 

I wish you well on this - I will be right there with you

It's more of an "I would just go with formula from the start" attitude. I have one friend who I know means well, but she is really discouraging. She tried it once with her first son and said it hurt too much so she went with formula. I said well I really hope it works for me because I know it's a natural way to feed him, plus it will help us be able to save more financially to have another baby. To which she replied, well, WIC paid for all of my formula so I didn't have to worry about that. I love her to death but she's always referencing her WIC checks and food stamps. Not everybody gets those...

rebbieW

I breastfed each of my children easily and without any sort of complications for at least a year each. It's one of the most satisfying and important things I've done in my life and I look back on each of those years with fond memories and gratitude that my body could provide such important nourishment for my children.

Barring difficult factors (inverted nipples, previous breast surgery, etc.), I think BFing might be made out to be more complicated than it really is. Forget pumping, supply, how many days it takes for your milk to come in, how often baby feeds and how long, etc. Offer the baby the breast when s/he cries or seems hungry, allow him/her to come off when done swallowing. Wash, rinse, repeat. Don't listen to horror stories. Read "So That's What They're For" and www.kellymom.com for background. I'll bet it goes great.

EDD June 25

chicagocubsfan23

rebbie:

I breastfed each of my children easily and without any sort of complications for at least a year each. It's one of the most satisfying and important things I've done in my life and I look back on each of those years with fond memories and gratitude that my body could provide such important nourishment for my children.

Barring difficult factors (inverted nipples, previous breast surgery, etc.), I think BFing might be made out to be more complicated than it really is. Forget pumping, supply, how many days it takes for your milk to come in, how often baby feeds and how long, etc. Offer the baby the breast when s/he cries or seems hungry, allow him/her to come off when done swallowing. Wash, rinse, repeat. Don't listen to horror stories. Read "So That's What They're For" and www.kellymom.com for background. I'll bet it goes great.

EDD June 25

Thank you for the resources!!! Also, we have the same due date

lpope9608

hulagirl94:

I had a really easy time with it, right from the beginning.  I never took the course, or read books.  He just latched right on and it was smoothe sailing from there.  So much so that I did it for a full year (and probably could have kept going.)  Don't let people discourage you, it can be a wonerful (and easy) process!

 All of this was me, too. I never had any issues. The nurses in the hospital were surprised at how well my DD and I did with it. I had them help me the very first time, then after that it was so easy. If you need help, definitely ask for it, but make sure to stay calm because the baby can sense when you're not. It's okay if it takes you a little bit to get the hang of it...that doesn't mean that you won't be successful, despite what others have told you!

CrazyLife3

I have never understood what is so hard about it. I basically stuck the baby to my breast and they ate, I did that with all three kids for 7-8 months and it worked fine. I never read a book or took a class. I don't know what the big deal is. Just have some lanolin around for when you get sore. Its really not a big deal at all.

cchill01

I think people are:

#1 - trying to make themselves feel better for quiting OR

#2 - trying to make you feel better if it doesn't work out OR

#3 - trying to set your expectations correctly, because it is a lot of work

I wouldn't read too much into it.

I had a great BFing experience.  It took a little work to get our latch right, but I was never in horrendous pain.  I'm not saying it was painless, but it was manageable.  Pumping sucks, but it's a matter of prioritizing it and making it happen.

The rest is really great.  We just finished weaning at 27 months and I'm so glad we made it that far.  I really think it benefited DD.

 

PrimReaper

I try not to judge, but honestly when people tell me that they 'couldn't' breastfeed, many times I just assume they gave up because they were uncomfortable or didn't want to try and fix the issue.  I know some women legitimately have issues, but I also know there are many cultures and countries where not breastfeeding is NOT an option.

I'm thankful to have had an easy time nursing both my girls and plan to BF this one as well.  There are great resources and support systems out there if you are having troubles, but I think you also need to have confidence in yourself and your baby and rely on your own instincts as well.

If you want some encouragement that babies know what to do, look up "Breast Crawl" on youtube - a video of a brand new born working for his first meal.

kdjudd

I feel your pain... My whole family has basically told me that it is impossible. It is really discouraging to hear them talk like that. Luckily, the nurse at my breast feeding class and my OBGYN have both been very encouraging and said that the chance of me not being able to breast feed is very very low. 

KCandJASON

chouli77:

Please don't let other people get you down. You sound like you're going into it with an education and a positive attitude. That's all you can do. Remember...before formula was invented....BFing worked.

Yikes, that's a pretty insensitive statement, especially to those that have tried everything to make breastfeeding work and still weren't able to.

Formula was invented out of a need for an alternative. Before formula was invented, many babies starved or severely failed to thrive. Those who were lucky had access to a wet nurse. Those who weren't...

OP, good luck. Stay determined, use those resources, and don't listen to anyone who isn't there to cheer you on. Just remember that whatever you do, it will be right for you and baby, and that's what matters.

chicagocubsfan23

shmeell25:

I hear you - all of my friends who have had babies before have made a point to tell me how much it hurt or how hard it was. Part of me thinks they are feeling defensive that I plan to do it and they couldn't/didn't (not that I would ever judge someone on their decision.) The only real supporters I have had are DH, my mom, and my sister. Everyone else likes to tell me what a pain it was or how difficult it was. But like the PP said - maybe they are just saying that to make you feel better in case it doesn't work out. Who knows, but it is frustrating to only hear the negative aspects. 

Yea I think the more frustrating remarks are those from my co-workers who have tried but say pumping is just too time consuming or too much work and it's not worth it... Well it's worth it to me!

sa5mnoduh

I had no problems breastfeeding.

venussapphire

I don't have any experience with breastfeeding quite yet, but don't be discouraged. Everyone is different and their experiences don't mean that yours will be the same.

Best of luck

MrsCAA

Its very hard at first.

I had a retained placneta (not found until 6 wks) which caused my to have very low milk supply and I had to supplement & pump like crazy unti it was removed. Then went on to EBF until DS was a little over a year

Find a good LC, (my hospital offers free services), remember baby does better than the pump,and do small goals. See below. Also remember LO's have growth spurts where they are supposed to constantly nurse- that how they tell your body- make more! As long as you get your wet diaper counts dont worry. And if you are nervous then add some pumping after nursing (with massage/compressions https://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/MaxProduction.html ), eat a high fiber diet, lots of water and rest.

 my first goal - 2 wks (b/c if your milk doesnt come in by then its not going to- and mine switched from transitional milk to milk on day 13. Due to retained placenta, usually it comes in the first few days)

2nd goal-  make it to my 6 wk appt and find out if there was a reason b/c I would regret it if i quit only to find it was a "simple" solution

3rd goal - 3 months.. Around 2 months it starts getting a lot easier, b/c baby will get a perfect latch every time

4th goal - 6 months

5th goal - 9 months

6th goal - 1 year.

7th goal: wean by 15 months

Small goals are easier to meet, and if something happens and you do quit then at least you hit some goals.

CaitlinJ22

rebbie:

 Forget pumping, supply, how many days it takes for your milk to come in, how often baby feeds and how long, etc. Offer the baby the breast when s/he cries or seems hungry, allow him/her to come off when done swallowing. Wash, rinse, repeat. Don't listen to horror stories. Read "So That's What They're For" and www.kellymom.com for background. I'll bet it goes great.

EDD June 25

Great info.

I had issues with my son but it was from his horrible birth, he had a bad latch and I suffered for a while. Thankfully I had support and I surrounded myself with only those who were posiitive about it.

With my daughter it was so much easier. I BF them both til 13/14 months and will do the same or go longer with this baby.

It can be hard in the beginning, but in the long run its so much easier and cheaper. 

Do yourself a favor and dont talk about your feeding choices to those who you arent sure are supportive. The key to nursing successfully is to have support and just nurse. Nurse before baby cries, learn his cues. Nurse when he sucks his hands, smacks his lips, makes a noise. Dont listen to the people who say "but he JUST ate" yeah babies need to eat often, sometimes every 30 mins during a growth spurt...go with your mommy gut. They wont nurse that often forever and they wont be that little forever, so enjoy it. 

you will do great.  

Rooberrywaffles

When I was pregnant with my 1st my mom told me she nursed for 3ms and it was very hard and I won't last that long, well I nursed my son till he was 18ms. Idk why people like to be so negative!!

LottaLattes

I did have a hard time with my first because I didn't do enough research, my LC was horrible, and I didn't have friends who had been through it.  Second time I had a ton of really helpful friends who had BF successfully and did a log more learning before  and it made all the difference.  I had a perfect BF relationship with my younger son and it has given me so much more confidence in BFing twins this time around.

Find supportive people (or ask here!) and you can totally do it!

rissa_n

Don't listen to the naysayers!  You can do it!  Once you work through the first couple of weeks where, I'm not gonna lie, it hurts like a motherf*cker, it gets so much easier and you'll be a pro!  I think that most people are surprised by the pain and it makes it hard to keep going/it's easier to just give up, but if you can get through that small timeframe it will get better and better, and it is so rewarding, cheap and easy once you do!  Good luck!

notfrancie

chouli77:

Please don't let other people get you down. You sound like you're going into it with an education and a positive attitude. That's all you can do. Remember...before formula was invented....BFing worked.

Totally this.  There is a TON of resources out there if you are into it.  Your body is made to do it, so think positive!  On the off chance that it doesn't work or you don't like it, I am sure you will make the most responsible, best alternative choices for your kiddo.  It will be OK! 

snicksnack

hulagirl94:

I had a really easy time with it, right from the beginning.  I never took the course, or read books.  He just latched right on and it was smoothe sailing from there.  So much so that I did it for a full year (and probably could have kept going.)  Don't let people discourage you, it can be a wonerful (and easy) process!

This was me too I went into it with the attitude if it works it works if it doesent I am not bad mom.  Don?t stress out if for some reason it does not work right away.  I tried in the delivery room and she would not latch I was not able to get a successful latch until the next day.  Once she did I was good to go.  Best piece of advice a pedi gave me he said at first have the baby suck for 10 minutes on each side.  This will help with production and won?t kill your nipples.  I was able to breastfeed for 18 months and pump while working for a year.  I never supplemented.

Asquared

I planned on going 4-6 months or until teeth started erupting(like my mom did), well my first lil bugger didn't get teeth until 10 months and it was going great, so we kept going until 15 months.  W/ my second, she had an itty bitty mouth, so it didn't come as easy, but we worked though it and made it 20 months, so much longer than I ever though, but w/ support- it's such a great experience.  You will do great!!  Also, the "leaky boob" on facebook is an outstanding support group.

laoch101

chouli77:

Please don't let other people get you down. You sound like you're going into it with an education and a positive attitude. That's all you can do. Remember...before formula was invented....BFing worked.

So true! You dont know these ladies history. How hard did they try? How serious were they about doing it? Did they have an epidural? Did they use pacis right away?

So much effects BF. Your planning ahead perfectly.

Hang in there