Shower guests addressing their own TY notes?

sadie+w

I have been to several showers lately where the hostess hands out envelopes to each guest and tells them to write their name and address on it for the thank you notes.

One of my hostesses actually did this at my wedding shower 5 years ago and I wanted to die of embarrassment.

Has anyone else seen this, and how do I ask my baby shower hostesses to please not do this without offending them?

danieliza1127

I've done that at showers before yep and I'm not a big fan.  If you really think there is a chance the hostess will do it, just tell her ahead of time that you would prefer to do the TY notes yourself and to please not have the guests fill them out.  You don't have to tell her that you think it's tacky if you're worried that will offend her.

RoxyLynn

Dreadful.

I agree with PP and simply tell the hostess that you prefer to do them yourself.  If, unfortunately, she hands out envelopes at the shower, just throw them out later and write your own.

ryry1977

I didn't want to have this done at my shower...but I have no problem doing it when I attend showers and don't blink an eye.

cwm11985

SmileyGirl18:

I guess I am in the minority, but I don't think it is tacky.  I had several wedding showers with over 80 people and I really appreciated not having to address all the thank you note envelopes.  I am the kind of person who gets thank you notes out within one week of the gift, and this saved me a ton of time.  (It take me longer to get out all the wedding thank you notes!)

The hostess for each shower (they didn't know one another) asked if I had already selected thank you notes.  When I told them no, they picked them up for me and had the ladies address the envelopes. 

For my baby showers, I would welcome, but not expect, the idea again.  I know I will be very busy getting ready for our LO and anything that will save me time will be greatly appreciated. 

 

 

I  too get my thank yous out right away, but for heaven's sake I am capable of taking the 2 minutes to write out addresses.  How utterly tacky to have guests do it...thats not their job.  They bought a gift, showed up to the party, oooohhdd and ahhhhd over the gifts.  That is the extent of what guests should do.  The guest of honor (YOU) is responsible for ALL parts of the thank you notes.

Disneygeek77

Yeah this is why it is such a bad idea.  It puts a lot of people in an uncomfortable position.  One of my hostesses did this for my bridal shower and I didn't know what to do.  By the time I walked  into the room, my hostess already had the guests writing down everything.  I really didn't know what to do.  I mean on one hand I felt embarassed because I was afraid that my guests thought I was too lazy to write all of that out.  However, on the other hand my hostess thought this was such a great idea and already bought the thank yous and already put the postage on them.  So myself and my guests were put in an awkward position.  I did end up using the TY cards she got for me since she already had the postage on them, but I just felt wierd about it.

Now by the time my baby shower came along, I told another hostess to please not do that anymore and to step in if the first hostess brought it up. 

Aleja0918

cwm11985:

SmileyGirl18:

I guess I am in the minority, but I don't think it is tacky.  I had several wedding showers with over 80 people and I really appreciated not having to address all the thank you note envelopes.  I am the kind of person who gets thank you notes out within one week of the gift, and this saved me a ton of time.  (It take me longer to get out all the wedding thank you notes!)

The hostess for each shower (they didn't know one another) asked if I had already selected thank you notes.  When I told them no, they picked them up for me and had the ladies address the envelopes. 

For my baby showers, I would welcome, but not expect, the idea again.  I know I will be very busy getting ready for our LO and anything that will save me time will be greatly appreciated. 

 

 

I  too get my thank yous out right away, but for heaven's sake I am capable of taking the 2 minutes to write out addresses.  How utterly tacky to have guests do it...thats not their job.  They bought a gift, showed up to the party, oooohhdd and ahhhhd over the gifts.  That is the extent of what guests should do.  The guest of honor (YOU) is responsible for ALL parts of the thank you notes.

All of this. It's not only tacky but incredibly lazy.

Disneygeek77

Yes a lot of people would be offended or a bit put off to do this.  Even if half of your guests are perfectly fine with it and half are a bit perturbed, it is best to err on the side of caution and not offend ANYONE. 

I mean come on,  what are we saving here, 60 seconds of writing time. 

Disneygeek77

or perhaps people are polite enough to not say anything. 

 

Disneygeek77

sadie+w:

I have been to several showers lately where the hostess hands out envelopes to each guest and tells them to write their name and address on it for the thank you notes.

One of my hostesses actually did this at my wedding shower 5 years ago and I wanted to die of embarrassment.

Has anyone else seen this, and how do I ask my baby shower hostesses to please not do this without offending them?

Sorry OP, I want to answer your question.  Did you  say you have several hostesses?  I would talk to a hostess whose didn't have the "write out your envelope" idea, and just mention that you would like to address your Thank yous this time.  I wouldn't say anything about being embarassed last time and maybe put the focus on you buying some special TY notes just for the occasion.  Hopefully she can pass that along in case they were thinking of doing the same thing.

Disneygeek77

SuperDeDuper:

SmileyGirl18:

Would you be offended if you were asked to do this?

Yup.

Would I throw a fit and toss my blue or pink wrapped baby gift to the floor as I stormed out?  No.  But I would certainly be annoyed that I had bothered to shop for a gift, buy a gift, wrap the gift, and take time from my busy schedule to attend a shower but that the guest of honor couldn't be bothered to write my address on the thank-you card.

And to re-iterate what others have said:  most people are too polite to show their annoyance at tacky things like this, but that doesn't mean they aren't thinking it.  And just because it's been done at other showers you've attended doesn't make it less tacky. 

Ahhh I love you today.

Disneygeek77

SmileyGirl18:

stw_77:

or perhaps people are polite enough to not say anything. 

 

 

No, I am honestly not offended when asked.  I know my friends well enough to know that they would say something, after the shower, if they were offended. 

So of all the  CA showers you went to, only your honest friends where there ?  What about aunts, cousins, grandmothers etc? 

daisy080187

I think its rude...I'd ask my hostess to not do it, (if it happens to be the same host as your wedding shower, lie & say you've got special thank you cards coming in the mail, with their own envelope & it won't be there in time, if you feel bad about not asking her to do it) My husband's SIL did this at her wedding shower... & thought it was extremely tacky...you OBVIOUSLY had the addresses to send the invite requesting them to come (& bring you a gift), the least you could do is write a thank you card & not be lazy by having the gift giver do half the work, (she *unlike you* knew it was happening cause she was the one who announced everyone to write their addresses down..) ...sorry about my vent...its one of my pet peeves...

luvlss1

I hate this. Tacky & rude, IMO. If you really don't feel like writing addresses, just import your guest/address list into a label program & print labels. I also don't want my hostess to select my TY cards for me...I have my own tastes and ideas for what I want.

I asked one of my hostesses to make sure this wasn't done at my shower and she followed my request, thankfully.

PunkyBooster

Yes I have seen this.

Tell your hostesses that you will be addressing your own thank you notes.  If you see them when you arrive, just take them all and shove them into your purse before anyone else sees them LOL

 

rak123

I think it's tacky, but it is VERY common here in Michigan. I've written my address on an envelope at probably 99% of wedding and baby showers. It seems like just a routine at showers here, so I don't think twice about it anymore. 

klaus

I don't think this is a big deal.  My MIL did this at my wedding and baby shower.  She then picked several out of a hat at the end for some take home gifts.

You could mention that you bought some really cute baby shower thank you notes and can't wait to use them.

But, your guests nkow it isn't you who planned the shower.  So, if there are any etiquette issues its the hostesses that get to take credit for them.

RoxyLynn

SmileyGirl18:

I see your point.  But, do you think the ladies who took the time to write out their addresses might be a little put off if they see you didn't use it?  I don't think I would really care, but someone might.

All WHAT time?  It takes literally 30 seconds, which is why there's no reason the guest of honor can't do it herself. 

sadie+w

 Wow, I didn't mean for this post to be a catalyst for so much drama!

For those of you that offered suggestions as to how to bring it up with my hostesses, thank you!

I think some of you didn't read my post (maybe the title was misleading) but for the record, I was not asking if it was tacky or not.  I feel it is incredibly tacky and was seeking suggestions for how to avoid it.

Thanks! 

 

CraftyKayla

I prefer it not to happen, but I don't scoff at it when others want me to do it. It takes like 2 seconds and usually they write a nice personal note in the thank you card. Also, most showers I've been to use it to draw names for raffle prizes.

sadie+w

MandJS:

sadie+w:

 Wow, I didn't mean for this post to be a catalyst for so much drama!

For those of you that offered suggestions as to how to bring it up with my hostesses, thank you!

I think some of you didn't read my post (maybe the title was misleading) but for the record, I was not asking if it was tacky or not.  I feel it is incredibly tacky and was seeking suggestions for how to avoid it.

Thanks! 

 

I don't think your OP was misleading at all. It just sparked debate on the bigger issue. GL with your situation! 

Ha ha, yes, debate is probably auch better word than drama to describe all the posts.  I was just shocked when I came back a short time after my op to see of there were any responses, to find 30+!

I noticed a couple responses that just said 'this is tacky and you should not do it' so I thought maybe they thought I was asking if it was ok to do.  :-)

Aleja0918

SmileyGirl18:

Aleja0918:

cwm11985:

SmileyGirl18:

I guess I am in the minority, but I don't think it is tacky.  I had several wedding showers with over 80 people and I really appreciated not having to address all the thank you note envelopes.  I am the kind of person who gets thank you notes out within one week of the gift, and this saved me a ton of time.  (It take me longer to get out all the wedding thank you notes!)

The hostess for each shower (they didn't know one another) asked if I had already selected thank you notes.  When I told them no, they picked them up for me and had the ladies address the envelopes. 

For my baby showers, I would welcome, but not expect, the idea again.  I know I will be very busy getting ready for our LO and anything that will save me time will be greatly appreciated. 

 

 

I  too get my thank yous out right away, but for heaven's sake I am capable of taking the 2 minutes to write out addresses.  How utterly tacky to have guests do it...thats not their job.  They bought a gift, showed up to the party, oooohhdd and ahhhhd over the gifts.  That is the extent of what guests should do.  The guest of honor (YOU) is responsible for ALL parts of the thank you notes.

All of this. It's not only tacky but incredibly lazy.

 

I did not ask any of the hostesses to do this.  I wasn't being lazy, I was being appreciative.  Out of the dozens of showers I have been to over the years, this has been done more often than not and I never have an issue writing my own address.  If it helps the bride or mom to be, it isn't an issue to me.

Would you be offended if you were asked to do this?

Yes. As others have mentioned, your guests have not only taken the time to attend an event in your honor but also spent their hard-earned money to buy you a gift. At the very least, you should be able to take 30 seconds out of your life to search for an address online or call someone who can give you that information.

Also, it has nothing to do with your location. I grew up in California, still have friends and family who live there, yet I've never heard of anyone having guests address their own envelops until lurking on this website. If my host tried to pull that at my baby shower, people would've looked at her like she had five heads.

MelleTX

MandJS:

SmileyGirl18:

MandJS:

SmileyGirl18:

MandJS:

RoxyLynn:

Dreadful.

I agree with PP and simply tell the hostess that you prefer to do them yourself.  If, unfortunately, she hands out envelopes at the shower, just throw them out later and write your own.

Actually, if she starts handing them out, just interrupt the announcement, tell people there was a miscommunication, it's not a big deal and that you have all their addresses, so no worries.  Basically, head it off at the pass.

 

See, I think this is tacky.  I would never want to make the hostess feel like she did something wrong. 

Oh, I agree. It's just, in my world, the tackiness of interrupting (after I had already said something to the hostess in the first place) outweighs the tackiness of having the guests think I need them to address their own thank you card envelopes. 

I can see your point if the guests knew you had previously asked the hostess.  But, they won't know about it and it would make you look like you are trying to control the shower. 

Sigh. It's a lose lose proposition. I go back to my original statement about being firm with the hostess BEFORE the shower to ensure it doesn't happen. But don't throw the envelopes out if they do get written. That's just wasteful. 

I actually JUST went to a baby shower where the hostess was about to pass out envelopes for the guests to address and I saw the mom stop her.  She just said "Oh, it's ok, I already have the addresses, but thank you anyway."

Cranang

I co-hosted a shower for my BFF back in December, and one of the other hostesses proudly showed me the little station she'd set up to do this.  She looked at me expecting approval, and I said "no that's incredibly tacky.  They took their time and money to come here today, Kristie can write out the addresses."  She was horribly offended, but I saved myself from being associated with the tackiness.

[Deleted User]

Aleja0918:

SmileyGirl18:

Aleja0918:

cwm11985:

SmileyGirl18:

I guess I am in the minority, but I don't think it is tacky.  I had several wedding showers with over 80 people and I really appreciated not having to address all the thank you note envelopes.  I am the kind of person who gets thank you notes out within one week of the gift, and this saved me a ton of time.  (It take me longer to get out all the wedding thank you notes!)

The hostess for each shower (they didn't know one another) asked if I had already selected thank you notes.  When I told them no, they picked them up for me and had the ladies address the envelopes. 

For my baby showers, I would welcome, but not expect, the idea again.  I know I will be very busy getting ready for our LO and anything that will save me time will be greatly appreciated. 

 

 

I  too get my thank yous out right away, but for heaven's sake I am capable of taking the 2 minutes to write out addresses.  How utterly tacky to have guests do it...thats not their job.  They bought a gift, showed up to the party, oooohhdd and ahhhhd over the gifts.  That is the extent of what guests should do.  The guest of honor (YOU) is responsible for ALL parts of the thank you notes.

All of this. It's not only tacky but incredibly lazy.

 

I did not ask any of the hostesses to do this.  I wasn't being lazy, I was being appreciative.  Out of the dozens of showers I have been to over the years, this has been done more often than not and I never have an issue writing my own address.  If it helps the bride or mom to be, it isn't an issue to me.

Would you be offended if you were asked to do this?

Yes. As others have mentioned, your guests have not only taken the time to attend an event in your honor but also spent their hard-earned money to buy you a gift. At the very least, you should be able to take 30 seconds out of your life to search for an address online or call someone who can give you that information.

Also, it has nothing to do with your location. I grew up in California, still have friends and family who live there, yet I've never heard of anyone having guests address their own envelops until lurking on this website. If my host tried to pull that at my baby shower, people would've looked at her like she had five heads.

ITA with this. Don't try to make it into a 'California' thing. It's not one. I"ve never seen this done and I would side eye it. 

Disneygeek77

SmileyGirl18:

stw_77:

SmileyGirl18:

stw_77:

or perhaps people are polite enough to not say anything. 

 

 

No, I am honestly not offended when asked.  I know my friends well enough to know that they would say something, after the shower, if they were offended. 

So of all the  CA showers you went to, only your honest friends where there ?  What about aunts, cousins, grandmothers etc? 

 

I don't really have a big family in CA.  My family is all on the east coast.  I had three wedding showers, friends and sorority sisters, my mom's friends,  MIL's friends and my close co-workers and a shower at work.  It was not done at the work shower and I just left the thank you notes on desks or in offices except for remote employee who sent gifts.  The hostess wrote those envelopes out. 

I have been to showers with these same groups and it has been done at their showers at well.  It really hasn't hasn't been an issue at least not to point where any of us have discussed it after the fact.  Trust me, my friend and my mom's friends have NO problem discussing what is tacky. 

No I wasn't talking about your family.  Sorry if what I said was confusing.  I meant to say that of all these relaxed easy breezy CA showers you have been to, every single one of the guests was one of your " honest" friends ?  Not one person invited their aunt, cousin, grandmother, MIL.  My point is that just because you and your group of friends think this envelope nonsense is ok, that doesn't mean that every single person invited to a shower would.   That is why it is best to not do it.  Some guest might think it is perfectly ok, others would not.  That is why it is best to err on the side of caution and offend no one. 

Disneygeek77

Everyone's point is that not everyone thinks like you.  Some people would be put off by it, some would not.  Why offend some of your guests?  Guests who are kind enough to take time out of their day to celebrate you becoming a mother. 

Disneygeek77

Ok, I will say this again.  Just because you and your friends think this is ok, that doesn't mean that everyone would.  Not everyone thinks like you.  Unless you have a master's degree in mind reading, there is no way you would know that NOT ONE of the guests out of all the showers you have been to would have been offended by this.  Look at this board, as you can see you are in the minority.  So there are a lot of people who don't like this idea ( yes even people from CA).  That is why it is best to be cautious and not do this.  Why take the chance of offending  some of your guests for only saving a few minutes of writing time ?  It isn't worth it. 

Disneygeek77

SmileyGirl18:

stw_77:

Everyone's point is that not everyone thinks like you.  Some people would be put off by it, some would not.  Why offend some of your guests?  Guests who are kind enough to take time out of their day to celebrate you becoming a mother. 

 

Exactly.  Not everyone thinks like me and not everyone thinks like you. As much as you think this is tacky, I disagree with you and  think it is something nice to do for the guest of honor.  Good thing we aren't going to each other's showers.  (and that wasn't meant to be snarky!)

That doesn't even make sense.  Why in the world would I risk offending some of my guests ?  It's not like if someone doesn't do this envelope nonsense, people would be offended. 

 

Disneygeek77

SmileyGirl18:

stw_77:

SmileyGirl18:

stw_77:

Everyone's point is that not everyone thinks like you.  Some people would be put off by it, some would not.  Why offend some of your guests?  Guests who are kind enough to take time out of their day to celebrate you becoming a mother. 

 

Exactly.  Not everyone thinks like me and not everyone thinks like you. As much as you think this is tacky, I disagree with you and  think it is something nice to do for the guest of honor.  Good thing we aren't going to each other's showers.  (and that wasn't meant to be snarky!)

That doesn't even make sense.  Why in the world would I risk offending some of my guests ?  It's not like if someone doesn't do this envelope nonsense, people would be offended. 

 

Maybe I wasn't clear.  I don't think it is offensive and the only time I have ever heard that it is is here on TB.  So, I don't think I am risking offending anyone.  I will continue to do this at the showers that I throw and you can continue to be offended if they do this at the showers that you attend.  It is as simple as that. 

Well this is the part I don't understand since you have two options here

1. do this envelope thing and risk offending some ( not all of course, but some) of the guests and possibly embarassing the MTB like the OP who started the thread and myself at my own bridal shower.

2. don't do the envelope thing and the MTB has to spend a few extra minutes writing out names and addresses on the envelope. 

Why would you choose option 1 ?

The only time I would think this is ok is if you knew that not one guest would be offened by doing this.  Like if the shower was  small and only close friends were invited and not extended family.  Then it might be alright.

clineak

This happened at a bridal shower I went to. The bride also had guests fill out envelopes at the wedding!! I think it is totally tacky!

Cranang

Who the hell doesn't wear white after Labor Day?

We're talking about being rude when it involves other people.  Not hosiery and clothes. LOL.

mlangs

SmileyGirl18:

 

I wouldn't own nylons either if I didn't work in a very professional industry and didn't have to travel to the South, NYC, Chicago ect.  Our office in So Cal is casual, all of our other offices are professional attire with suits, ties and nylons required. 

I am just saying that California is more relaxed than most states, not all, but most. 

Woah now... you are Really running the risk of pissing many people off here. I am from the South, and bless your heart we don't wear nylons here... way too damned hot for that... most of that Nylon crap was let go 10-20 years ago!

ChristyML

SuperDeDuper:

SmileyGirl18:

Would you be offended if you were asked to do this?

Yup.

Would I throw a fit and toss my blue or pink wrapped baby gift to the floor as I stormed out?  No.  But I would certainly be annoyed that I had bothered to shop for a gift, buy a gift, wrap the gift, and take time from my busy schedule to attend a shower but that the guest of honor couldn't be bothered to write my address on the thank-you card.

And to re-iterate what others have said:  most people are too polite to show their annoyance at tacky things like this, but that doesn't mean they aren't thinking it.  And just because it's been done at other showers you've attended doesn't make it less tacky. 

This. I like picking out my own thank you notes too. Plus, when the receiver of the thank you note gets a card in the mail that is in their own hand writing, it probably seems really dumb and...oh I don't know...tacky? 

PunkyBooster

SmileyGirl18:

Scout2005:

I love that being in CA is suddenly an excuse for bad manners.

I'll be sure to let all my friends who live there know, they'll be thrilled. 

I never said being in CA is an excuse for bad manners.  Please don't put words into my mouth.  I simply stated that we are more relaxed here.  Some examples include people who wear jeans to Broadway Musicals that are on tour and playing in downtown LA, people who haven't worn closed toed shoes (anything but flip flops) for years.  We also don't follow the no white after Labor Day.  The only time I put on nylons is when I am traveling for an out of town conference and I am in a very professional industry. 

Are you sure this isn't just called living in a warm climate? 

morethancottoncandy

SmileyGirl18:

I have been to more showers than I can count that have done this.  Maybe your friends and family out here aren't talking about because they don't think it is a big deal either. 

When I go to a shower, I don't look for tacky.  I am there to celebrate the bride or mother to be and if I am asked to do something to make her world a little easier, it doesn't bother me at all. 

I understand that it upsets some of you.  I am just saying it doesn't upset me and it something that is common in my social circles.  And before anyone says it, my social circles are well educated women who do have manners. 

FWIW, well educated doesn't always = good manners. Furthermore, if the people in your "social circle" can't be bothered to spare 30 seconds addressing a thank you note,  saying they have manners is highly debatable. 

mollybloom

This is pretty standard in my area. While it wasn't done at my bridal or baby shower, it has been done at almost every shower I have been to. I have never given it any thought.

In the grand scheme of what makes me think tacky, this isn't a blip on the radar. Who gives a fig if you are asked to write your address on an envelope? There are things worth getting riled up about and things that are not worth getting riled up about.

cwm11985

SmileyGirl18:

Scout2005:

SmileyGirl18:

Scout2005:

I love that being in CA is suddenly an excuse for bad manners.

I'll be sure to let all my friends who live there know, they'll be thrilled. 

I never said being in CA is an excuse for bad manners.  Please don't put words into my mouth.  I simply stated that we are more relaxed here.  Some examples include people who wear jeans to Broadway Musicals that are on tour and playing in downtown LA, people who haven't worn closed toed shoes (anything but flip flops) for years.  We also don't follow the no white after Labor Day.  The only time I put on nylons is when I am traveling for an out of town conference and I am in a very professional industry. 

Yeah, all this is true everywhere I've lived, including NYC (you know, the actual Broadway) and the Midwest. Well, I guess they had to wear close-toed shoes in winter, but that had nothing to do with being uptight and not relaxed.

I don't believe I've ever owned a pair of nylons. 

There's relaxed and then there's tacky. Location doesn't excuse the later.

True, but not flip flops, t-shirts and jeans like they do here.  I travel quite a bit for my job and have been to countless shows on Broadway, ino one wears what is worn here. My uncle who is a Broadway producer, is appalled by what he sees here and calls us (collectively) animals. 

I wouldn't own nylons either if I didn't work in a very professional industry and didn't have to travel to the South, NYC, Chicago ect.  Our office in So Cal is casual, all of our other offices are professional attire with suits, ties and nylons required. 

I am just saying that California is more relaxed than most states, not all, but most. 

 

WTH??? Shut up with your stupid "very professional industry."  You make yourself sound horribly unprofessional...and you are pointlessly deviating away from the topic.  

[Deleted User]

SmileyGirl18:

 

I have been to more showers than I can count that have done this.  Maybe your friends and family out here aren't talking about because they don't think it is a big deal either. 

When I go to a shower, I don't look for tacky.  I am there to celebrate the bride or mother to be and if I am asked to do something to make her world a little easier, it doesn't bother me at all. 

I understand that it upsets some of you.  I am just saying it doesn't upset me and it something that is common in my social circles.  And before anyone says it, my social circles are well educated women who do have manners. 

That's all great and fine. Yet again I state...don't try to make it into a "California" thing. I've lived in various parts of CA my whole life, and I've never seen nor heard of this being done. And my friends and family are very 'relaxed' and 'laid back'.

FWIW, I don't go to showers "looking" for tacky...with this type of thing, the tacky kind of slaps you in the face. You don't gotta look hard for it, YKWIM? And it may not upset you, but it obviously upset the OP, as she's looking for ways to avoid this tacky situation from happening to her!

rhubarb123

SmileyGirl18:

I guess I am in the minority, but I don't think it is tacky.  I had several wedding showers with over 80 people and I really appreciated not having to address all the thank you note envelopes.  I am the kind of person who gets thank you notes out within one week of the gift, and this saved me a ton of time.  (It take me longer to get out all the wedding thank you notes!)

The hostess for each shower (they didn't know one another) asked if I had already selected thank you notes.  When I told them no, they picked them up for me and had the ladies address the envelopes. 

For my baby showers, I would welcome, but not expect, the idea again.  I know I will be very busy getting ready for our LO and anything that will save me time will be greatly appreciated. 

 

To address this:  maybe your guests should have saved THEIR time and not bothered to purchase a gift in the first place then you wouldn't have to use YOUR time to address their thank you envelop.  It would have saved you even more time if they had written their own thank you as well.

To the OP...I agree with those that say to let your hostess know you would rather address them yourself and not have the guests fill out their own. 

I have to say, when I am handed an envelop to fill in my address I don't.  I leave it blank.  If it is for a drawing then oh well.  I've had a couple of people ask me to do it when they see it is empty and I just politely decline.  I figure I spent time shopping for a gift and card, wrapping it, getting a babysitter and am now sitting at their shower.  The least the MTB can do is address my friggin thank you envelop!

rockinmommy

SmileyGirl18:

Scout2005:

SmileyGirl18:

Scout2005:

I love that being in CA is suddenly an excuse for bad manners.

I'll be sure to let all my friends who live there know, they'll be thrilled. 

I never said being in CA is an excuse for bad manners.  Please don't put words into my mouth.  I simply stated that we are more relaxed here.  Some examples include people who wear jeans to Broadway Musicals that are on tour and playing in downtown LA, people who haven't worn closed toed shoes (anything but flip flops) for years.  We also don't follow the no white after Labor Day.  The only time I put on nylons is when I am traveling for an out of town conference and I am in a very professional industry. 

Yeah, all this is true everywhere I've lived, including NYC (you know, the actual Broadway) and the Midwest. Well, I guess they had to wear close-toed shoes in winter, but that had nothing to do with being uptight and not relaxed.

I don't believe I've ever owned a pair of nylons. 

There's relaxed and then there's tacky. Location doesn't excuse the later.

True, but not flip flops, t-shirts and jeans like they do here.  I travel quite a bit for my job and have been to countless shows on Broadway, ino one wears what is worn here. My uncle who is a Broadway producer, is appalled by what he sees here and calls us (collectively) animals. 

I wouldn't own nylons either if I didn't work in a very professional industry and didn't have to travel to the South, NYC, Chicago ect.  Our office in So Cal is casual, all of our other offices are professional attire with suits, ties and nylons required. 

I am just saying that California is more relaxed than most states, not all, but most. 

 

Really??!

 Back to OP, just make a point to tell your host that you will take care of the cards.