September 2012 Moms
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s/o scheduled birth (rant, long-ish)

so on Monday, my biological grandparents showed up UNANNOUNCED on my doorstep for five hours of uninvited visiting in my messy, untamed house with my hair in a bun and DH at work. 

which was nuts all by itself.

since they haven't seen me since i've gotten pregnant, of course, they had lots of questions about the baby and the pregnancy and my plans with DH. i tried to answer all their questions politely. fortunately, they kept most of them appropriate.

however, when it came around to how i was praying that i wouldn't go too late in the middle of the summer, my step-grandmother looked at me and said, "oh, well you won't, they'll induce you around 40 weeks, and do a c-section long before you have to labour too long. and with an epidural, you won't feel a single thing! piece of cake for you!"

i very calmly explained to her that my daughter would come when she is ready, and my doctor is very supportive of NO induction and NO c-section unless mother or child are in peril, and that i was going to have this baby without the aid of any drugs for induction or pain relief. 

she gasped. literally, dramatically gasped and said, "oh, oh, oh! i don't want to hear this...you're going to KILL yourself!" 

my jaw hit the floor as she went on and on about how i was going to DESTROY my body, that i was being a naive little fool, and that my tiny body could not handle pushing something so large out without any help. i was going to KILL myself and my baby, and then what would DH do?

thankfully, my grandfather was a little more in tune with me and caught that i was getting slightly more than a little pissed off, and calmed her down with having me show her some cute baby shoes.

but HOLY. FLUCK.  i'm 5'0, yes, and i'm tiny, yes, but my doctor and i have talked and she sees NO concerns in my natural, patient style of birthing my daughter. 

oy.  

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Re: s/o scheduled birth (rant, long-ish)

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    I have had the same responce form other people. My friend asked me if I was getting the epi. When I told her no, she called me the "r" word and went on to say that I'm not strong enough, can't handle it, blah blah blah. I got really pissed too, until I remembered that she is the one who went to the E.R. over a cut on her finger that stopped bleeding in 5 minutes. She could have put a band-aid on it and called it a day, but no, she went to the E.R. instead. They told her she was fine, and to go home, but she stayed until the she was seen by a doc. Of course, all the doc did was put a band-aid on it and sent her on her way.

    I think people who act like that and who tell you that you have to schedule your birth, have to get the epi, etc. are just drama queens and need to chill. This is MY baby, not yours!

    This is YOUR baby, not your grandmother's. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

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    Wow, that is messed up. I want the same birth experience as you. I find it is hard for people to understand our choice. Especially older people that are set in their ways. I think no matter what everyone should respect other people's birth choices. I know a woman who had a c-section scheduled for a set date despite it being not medically necessary. Instead of letting nature take it's course, she is doing what she thinks is best for her. While I disagree with her, I would never ridicule her for her choice. That is her body, her business. 

    Since this is my first baby, I am going to try my best to do it naturally. I am taking Bradley classes with my husband and hope I can handle it. At the same time, I don't want to claim that I will absolutely go through with it. I don't know what birth is like. I am going to take it as it comes. I love reading the natural birth stories though. They are inspiring.  

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    Good God that sounds like a hoot!  FWIW, my cousin is like 4"10" and had 2 full term vaginal deliveries w/ from what I remember, no complications.  Of course, everyone is different but it is possible!!!

    I'm just curious how old she is?  You said biological grandparents.  Are you adopted?  My only point to that is if you are not even truly close to these people it is even MORE rude that she would be like that.

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    imagelollypop1989:

    I have had the same responce form other people. My friend asked me if I was getting the epi. When I told her no, she called me the "r" word and went on to say that I'm not strong enough, can't handle it, blah blah blah. I got really pissed too, until I remembered that she is the one who went to the E.R. over a cut on her finger that stopped bleeding in 5 minutes. She could have put a band-aid on it and called it a day, but no, she went to the E.R. instead. They told her she was fine, and to go home, but she stayed until the she was seen by a doc. Of course, all the doc did was put a band-aid on it and sent her on her way.

    I think people who act like that and who tell you that you have to schedule your birth, have to get the epi, etc. are just drama queens and need to chill. This is MY baby, not yours!

    This is YOUR baby, not your grandmother's. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

    OK, I can't figure this out. What's the "r" word?

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    imagemonica92603:

    Good God that sounds like a hoot!  FWIW, my cousin is like 4"10" and had 2 full term vaginal deliveries w/ from what I remember, no complications.  Of course, everyone is different but it is possible!!!

    I'm just curious how old she is?  You said biological grandparents.  Are you adopted?  My only point to that is if you are not even truly close to these people it is even MORE rude that she would be like that.

    yes, i'm adopted. she is in her early 50s. and no, honestly, I personally am not close to her. she is my step-grandmother to boot, and as such, i am nowhere near as close with her as i am with my grandma. it was mind-boggling. 

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    Your small size shouldn't effect your plans for delivery.  She sounds annoying but just remember she's probably uneducated about modern pregnancies and deliveries.
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    skyejoskyejo member

    Wow, just wow.  I'm surprised that she wasn't more pro-natural birth.  Both of my grandmother's had their kids, 10 of them total, sans meds and delivered a few of them very late.  They're on the flip side of your grandma.  They think it's crazy that women get epidurals and c-sections.

    I think you should make sure the lock on your door works.  You might need that for their next unannounced visit.  How annoying. 

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    imagenumb3rMel:
    imagelollypop1989:

    I have had the same responce form other people. My friend asked me if I was getting the epi. When I told her no, she called me the "r" word and went on to say that I'm not strong enough, can't handle it, blah blah blah. I got really pissed too, until I remembered that she is the one who went to the E.R. over a cut on her finger that stopped bleeding in 5 minutes. She could have put a band-aid on it and called it a day, but no, she went to the E.R. instead. They told her she was fine, and to go home, but she stayed until the she was seen by a doc. Of course, all the doc did was put a band-aid on it and sent her on her way.

    I think people who act like that and who tell you that you have to schedule your birth, have to get the epi, etc. are just drama queens and need to chill. This is MY baby, not yours!

    This is YOUR baby, not your grandmother's. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

    OK, I can't figure this out. What's the "r" word?

    I am assuming retarded.  Someone got called out for using it a week or so ago.


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    imagenumb3rMel:
    imagelollypop1989:

    I have had the same responce form other people. My friend asked me if I was getting the epi. When I told her no, she called me the "r" word and went on to say that I'm not strong enough, can't handle it, blah blah blah. I got really pissed too, until I remembered that she is the one who went to the E.R. over a cut on her finger that stopped bleeding in 5 minutes. She could have put a band-aid on it and called it a day, but no, she went to the E.R. instead. They told her she was fine, and to go home, but she stayed until the she was seen by a doc. Of course, all the doc did was put a band-aid on it and sent her on her way.

    I think people who act like that and who tell you that you have to schedule your birth, have to get the epi, etc. are just drama queens and need to chill. This is MY baby, not yours!

    This is YOUR baby, not your grandmother's. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

    OK, I can't figure this out. What's the "r" word?

    "Retarded." I don't like saying it, and it should never be said in polite conversation. I have a little brother with Fraxile X, and I hate it when people make fun of him in school.

    Sorry I kinda thought that everyone knew what that was. lol

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    It's definitley a generation thing, although I'm suprised that she isn't more natural childbirth, etc., but I guess that would also depend on what age she is-much older grandparents may have experienced more natural births than others that are younger.

    That said- I totally agree with you about natural birthing etc. I had a close girlfriend tell me I was crazy to not be wanting any drugs, etc. I think it's personal choice for sure.

     I feel really lucky knowing that my MW is supportive of whatever I want and that the MW practice itself has a very high rate of vaginal births and that the hospital I'm delivering at has a lower rate of cesarian births than other hospitals do.


                                                        [MC 11.20.11] [DS born 9.24.12] [DD born 10.15.14]

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    imagelollypop1989:
    imagenumb3rMel:
    imagelollypop1989:

    I have had the same responce form other people. My friend asked me if I was getting the epi. When I told her no, she called me the "r" word and went on to say that I'm not strong enough, can't handle it, blah blah blah. I got really pissed too, until I remembered that she is the one who went to the E.R. over a cut on her finger that stopped bleeding in 5 minutes. She could have put a band-aid on it and called it a day, but no, she went to the E.R. instead. They told her she was fine, and to go home, but she stayed until the she was seen by a doc. Of course, all the doc did was put a band-aid on it and sent her on her way.

    I think people who act like that and who tell you that you have to schedule your birth, have to get the epi, etc. are just drama queens and need to chill. This is MY baby, not yours!

    This is YOUR baby, not your grandmother's. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

    OK, I can't figure this out. What's the "r" word?

    "Retarded." I don't like saying it, and it should never be said in polite conversation. I have a little brother with Fraxile X, and I hate it when people make fun of him in school.

    Sorry I kinda thought that everyone knew what that was. lol

    HA! I'm dense. I was thinking "ridiculous" but I wasn't sure why that would be bad. Yes, I would agree that "retarded" was not the proper term for her to use.

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                                 Harper Grace 08.31.12                        Sibling Expected 08.30.15

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    Ellie from CougarTown

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    I attended a meet the Mid-Wives at the hospital I'll be delivering at and hearing them say that women who get epidurals generally labor longer just made me 100% sure that it's the last thing that I want to do! I'd rather go through the pain and potentially have a shorter birthing period than get an epi and have my contractions slow down and delay the process!!


                                                        [MC 11.20.11] [DS born 9.24.12] [DD born 10.15.14]

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