"I'm hell-bent to have her completely potty trained by the time she starts walking"

MagickalNarwhal

My friend, who is doing part time EC w her 4.5 month old, said this to me today. Thoughts? Possible? Realistic?

eav2c

I've heard of people who begin potty training around 9 months and I think it's possible but not necessarily realistic. I haven't myself potty trained my own child yet but I worked in a child development center with children being potty trained and I didn't see many children under 2 who were even slightly interested in using the toilet for its purpose.  With that said, children can be ready at different ages and there are do many factors that go into these things too.

Bride2b2004

Thoughts?  Ugh.  Let the baby be a baby. 

kcisthebombdotcom

I think EC =/= potty trained.

Kids don't have the physical ability to control their bowels/urine that young. Totally unrealistic.

I also don't understand the desire to PT young. Sure, it's nice to not have to buy diapers. It's also a hell of a lot more inconvenient to go out places with a potty trained toddler. Especially one that is too young to really be able to hold it for a few minutes until you can actually get them to a bathroom.

Anyone I know who PT young involved a lot of tears and stress. PT older is easier on mom and child.

jkeyros

Bride2b2004:

Thoughts?  Ugh.  Let the baby be a baby. 

 

This! It seems like parents want to rush these milestones. 

lady_tytah

If I was to go by that logic my daughter would have been potty trained by 9 months. That's crazy! I started by daughter potty training at 15 months because she would have a dry diaper all night. I knew she was ready by her cues. Not because I was tired of buying diapers. Every kid is different let that baby say she's ready when she's ready.

MagickalNarwhal

OK thanks, I thought it was a little crazy, but she was really adamant!

Amitchell0626

I don't think it's very likely. We EC and we're no where near pottytraining with DD. We catch pretty much all poops but not the pee. Expecially overnight at that age, not likely to happen.

Kaeldrasmommy

I know that my mom had potty trained my brother by the time he was a year. But she made it a game of them always going to the bathroom at the same time. I think expecting it is ridiculous.

DreamsBride411

First, I'm replying as an ECer. 

 Second, the whole "let a baby be a baby," phrase annoys the hell Out of me. As humans we are not born with the desire to soil ourselves. Parents condition us that way by always keeping our bits in a diaper.   Letting a baby be a baby should really be saying "EC your kid from the start so they know they have better places to eliminate.".

Third, there are NATIONS outside the US whose avg trained age is b/t 6-12 months.

Fourth, I was hellbent too, but somehow every few months we regress :-(  I think it's just natural.  

jennlin

i don't think it's unrealistic, i don't think it's likely. it definitely varies from child to child, and i also think with the way society is "these days", people are less patient. everything is instant, and don't have the time to properly EC 100% of the time because of work/daycare, or other demands at home.

my mom EC'd (or some form of it...things get lost in translation chinese => english), but she said my older brother (now 32) was 100% potty trained when he was approx 10 mos. i, on the other hand (now 27), she said i wasn't potty trained until i was almost 2. 

dmfan897

I dunno..I don't see the reason for the rush. I have a friend who starts PT around 6mths [yeah..] and sure, her kids are completely PT by the age of 2. However she just spent a LOT of time and a LOT of effort to get there. I just don't have the will to do that. We waited until DD1 was 30mths old and she was completely [poop,pee,night,day] trained within days with little help from us.

pixieprincss

It sounds like she's missing the point of EC which is about communicating with the child, not obsessing over catches versus misses. Also, EC kids tend to regress when they start walking. My family is no different on that trend. Walking and playing is way more fun that pottying these days (albiet he does sign to me when he goes in his diaper). Overall, ECers tend to be out of diapers earlier, but that is a far cry from forcing potty "training" to happen ASAP.

Also, ITA with the poster who talked about irritation with the "let a baby be a baby" phrase. Babies who stay in soiled diapers without noticing have been "trained" to ignore the body's natural deisre to be sanitary. It is a cultural norm in the US, but certainly is not baby's innate nature and is not what most babies in the world do, even today. Access to disposable diapers; clean, running water to wash diapers; or even a safe spot to dry coth diapers are all luxuries for many people. We have American friends in Zambia who cannot even CD because bugs will lay eggs in the damp, drying fabric.

Bride2b2004

DreamsBride411:

First, I'm replying as an ECer. 

 Second, the whole "let a baby be a baby," phrase annoys the hell Out of me. As humans we are not born with the desire to soil ourselves. Parents condition us that way by always keeping our bits in a diaper.   Letting a baby be a baby should really be saying "EC your kid from the start so they know they have better places to eliminate.".

Third, there are NATIONS outside the US whose avg trained age is b/t 6-12 months.

Fourth, I was hellbent too, but somehow every few months we regress :-(  I think it's just natural.  

 This made me chuckle.  Funny that letting a baby be a baby "annoys the hell out of" you... when anyone being "hellbent" to make a baby do things annoys the hell out of ME.  I was going to go into that in my original post, but didn't have time for it.

And pixieprincss: Please tell my 2 year old about this innate desire for cleanliness.  I practically have to sit on him half the time to clean his little food (or snot or whatever it is at the time) encrusted face.  He would be perfectly happy being a mess =/ As was (and sometimes still is) DS1 before him.

x0stephanie

jkeyros:

Bride2b2004:

Thoughts?  Ugh.  Let the baby be a baby. 

 

This! It seems like parents want to rush these milestones. 

Do you realize that up until the 1950's and the invention of disposable diapers, most children were potty trained by 18 months?  Since then the age has only gone up and up.  Parents have just delayed the process even longer, putting their kids in pampers and initiating potty training when they turn 3 or 3.5 or whenever they display signs of "readiness".  Your child has bowel and bladder control long before they can tell you they want to use the toilet.  

Bride2b2004

Ladies, let's not get up on our EC soapbox.  This post is about thoughts regarding a parent "hell-bent" on having a child "completely potty trained by the time she starts walking".  So we are talking about a 10 month old (or thereabouts) fully potty trained.  I honestly don't give a crap (regardless of location- in a diaper or on a potty) about when you think parents should start potty training, but laying high expectations on when a baby needs to have mastered it (IMHO) is ridiculous.  

 

fredalina:

I don't like either phrase lol. I don't like "let babies be babies" (specifically in reference to EC) because it just doesn't fit. It isn't like crapping in your pants is some sacred, time-honored childhood institution that is being robbed of babies. Overscheduling kids, helicoptering them, putting too much emphasis on academics can rob them of some parts of childhood in a way, but a baby who is taken to the toilet still gets to do all the cool things other babies get to do. They just need fewer diaper changes.

 

I think it does fit.  I have no real expectations of a tiny baby, except I hope I can help my LO eat, sleep and conquer age appropriate milestones as he grows.  I think the sacred baby right that is being robbed is just letting them achieve milestones as they go, celebrating success and continuing to encourage regarding the ones they haven't yet.  

missmolly511

I think it depends on the child, to be honest.

My DD is a year old. We had no interest in EC but now that she can sign "diaper" to me when she has to go, we are starting "potty training." I am not going to forgo the diaper just yet, and admittedly about half the time she signs she has already gone and is just telling me she needs a change, but I am pretty confident that we can be trained before 18 months.

**Edit: We were never planning on doing it this young, but I think she can do it. She continues to surprise me with what she can do just when I start to think she's too young. But I think we just got lucky, and I don't think all kids can be expected to do it. Also, I am not planning on going "hell-bent" on getting her trained; either she'll continue to do it or she won't.

StefandTodd

fredalina:

Bride2b2004:

  

 

fredalina:

 

OK, if you're talking about this one situation in which this one mother is hellbent on having her child reach a specific milestone before reaching another specific milestone (odd...) then yes, "let the baby be a baby." But I've heard the expression umpteen times whenever EC comes up, and it misses the point. EC isn't, shouldn't be and I'd contend CAN'T be about pushing a child, because when you push, it backfires. EC is kind of like those old tube things where if you try to pull your fingers out, it just grips tighter and the trick is to loosen up and your fingers will slip right out. This particular mama (if her statement was correctly translated here) will soon learn that the better way IS to give the control over to the child. Take them  to the toilet, but you can't force them to use it. (Sort of like the opposite of the old horse expression). 

 

I agree with this.  A friend of mine saw a photo of my LO when he was around 8 months old sitting on his potty, and she was like, "ooh goodness...don't rush him!  Let him be a baby...he'll get that in his own time."  Clearly no idea what EC is or how NOT rushing him I am.