September 2012 Moms
mchupie
member
What are/were your "I'll Never"s?
mchupie
member
Before DD was born, there were a number of things that I said I would never do, like let DD watch TV, let her sleep in our bed, give her sweets, etc.
2nd+ time Moms - what were yours? Have you done any of them by now?
1st time Moms - got any to share? 
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Re: What are/were your "I'll Never"s?
No TV was one, but I do let them watch some TV.
I said I would never let them sleep in our bed and I NEVER have.
I can't really think of any others right now.
No formula (she had a tongue tie and it affected my supply, so she had some at 5 days old), no light up/noise making/battery powered toys (enter first birthday presents from family), no TV before 2 (she loved Sesame Street at 1.5), no making separate meals (she eats PB&J far more often than I'd like to admit).
Still going strong on no riding in the car without an appropriate car seat, though.
Well, since I don't have any LOs yet, I guess my "I'll Never's" are pregnancy based.
I said I'd never complain about pregnancy after reading what a lot of the ladies on TTGP went through to try to get pregnant. First trimester was so miserable that I complained to DH constantly...and would then cry because I felt guilty and felt like I should just be grateful that I was pregnant.
I said I'd never be an over-worrier.... lol...While I am perfectly fine eating lunch meat and drinking a half glass of wine occasionally...I still have to google every single time which type of tuna I'm allowed to have and whether or not some herbs and spices are safe before I'll eat them.
I never had any "I never's..." because I knew, when it came down to it, I'd do just about anything to keep my sanity. And I have.
And look, 2.5 kiddos later and we're all still alive. WOOT!
Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14
FTM:
Sleep in bed after the infant stage (excluding sickness and nightmare issues)
Use the backpack leash
Emilia Antoinette
10.03.12 at 41w5d
FTM - I'll "never" let my kid...
...throw a fit in public.
...co-sleep.
...hmm... that's about all I can think of at the moment. Let's see how successful I am at those.
Harper Grace 08.31.12 Sibling Expected 08.30.15
Aug 2015 - January Siggy Challenge - Fav mean girl from TV/Film
Ellie from CougarTown
The main one I remember is that I said I would not let my child use a pacifier because I didn't want to have to fight the battle of taking it away when she was older. My sister successfully raised a no pacifier and no thumb sucking child so I figured I could do it too.
But there were several nights where DD just needed to suck for comfort, so I nursed her and that was A LOT on me when she'd suck on the boob for a few minutes, fall asleep, then wake up screaming and need to suck again.
Also, I have successfully not raised a thumb-sucker, but an index & second finger sucker! Well, fingers are impossible to take away, unlike a pacifier. Lesson learned. New baby may have a pacifier.
We broke many of our "I'll never" rules so basically with this one I have the attitude of never say never!
With my first my nevers were
-no co-sleeping, she was doing it by 4 or 5 days old because it was literally the only way we got any sleep
-no formula, had to give up pumping by 8 months as it was too stressful with work and finally just did formula
-no processed meats, even sent alternatives to daycare and she wouldn't eat it so we finally caved and let her just start eating the chicken nuggets like every other child
I'm sure we had others but honestly every kid is different and sometimes you do things just to keep your sanity. I hate to hear FTMs get smug over my decisions and indicate that they will do things so much better because you just don't know until you've been through it.
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I really never said never either. But there were a lot of things I thought I'd have no trouble doing as a mom. They really are their own individuals from the very beginning though. And yes, you can have your own ideas about how things should go, but that doesn't garauntee you'll be successful. Some battles just aren't worth fighting.
I really wasn't going to let DD watch TV before 2 yrs for the most part. When she started waking with night terrors for a stretch at around 1.5 yrs the ONLY thing that would calm her and help her get back to sleep quickly was sitting in my lap watching Sesame Street clips on my laptop. All of the sudden, I really didn't give a poo about TV. I just wanted to comfort my terrified baby and if Elmo helped do that, so be it. And ya know what? She learned her alphabet pretty quickly. ;o)
I had a lot of "I'll never"s. I'll admit I was judgmental and pretentious about it.
Watch TV: DD watches TV when I need to get something done
Sleep in our bed: she has never spent a whole night in our bed, but if she wakes up early (before 6 AM) I'll bring her in bed with us to get her to go back to sleep. It almost always works.
Eat sweets: she eats junk food and sweets every now and then when it's all she'll eat! Better that than nothing given she is at the bottom of the growth charts
Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3
Said I would never sleep with LO in bed. Well it happened and I have no complaints.
EDIT just realized this isn't my Bump Month Board.
Honestly, we didn't have any b/c I've been on the nest too long to know from others that sh!t changes the sec you give birth!
The only thing we said really was we were going to try to EBF for a year & then give as much healthy food as possible - no sweets, take out, etc for as long as we can & we have done that. DS had his first taste of sweets on his 1st bday & just had his first french fry, lol, this past weekend.
I have a few that I would like to stick to....
I'll Never....
...give my child soda (gonna try my hardest!)
....say to my child "I'll give you something to cry about" (my father used to say that and I hated it)
That's all I have for now! I'm sure I have more...just can't recall them to memory at the moment.
As a FTM, here is what I'll "never" let me kid do/do to them... let's see how it goes.
- backpack leash
- let them eat in front of the TV
- spank
- let them sleep in our bed
- use a pacifier past 6 months
- I'll never let my daughter out of the house (if it's a girl)... that one was from my husband!
I didn't want to give DD a pacifier right away, for at least a couple of weeks. I gave DD a pacifier at around a week old when she wouldn't stop crying for no apparent reason...she took the second type of paci we tried and immediately fell asleep. She self-weaned off the pacifier at 3 months old and switched to sucking her thumb. It really wasn't up to me whether she sucked a pacifier, a thumb, or nothing at all.
I also wasn't going to get into feeding DD separate meals. I ended up with a "selective eater" (i.e. a picky eater to the extreme). Her issues are way beyond normal todder/preschooler pickiness. We've tried everything, including feeding therapy, and she's not going to change any time soon. I hate that I get judged for my supposed bad parenting by feeding my child peanut butter and cheese all the time, but the truth is she literally wouldn't eat if I didn't give her one of the few foods she'll eat. Lots of people say they won't let their kid eat a McDonald's; I celebrated the day my child tasted a McD's chicken nugget.
Re: backpack leashes
Like everything else, it depends on the child. If you have a kid who likes to sit in the stroller passively and listens politely and never pulls away from holding your hand, you don't need a leash. If you have a two year old who loves to explore you don't want to lose them at the fair, amusement park, or airport, a leash is a super-handy tool. I had a wrist-strap leash for DD when she was younger and given the choice of riding in the stroller or walking with the leash, she preferred the leash.
I don't really like to use the word never, but I'm fully against having a TV in my kid's room. That one I'm hoping to stick with.
IUI#3 brought us our dragon baby Z
TTCAL January 2015 Siggy Challenge: Animal Snow Interactions
I do actually think this one is pretty plausible. We don't/wont allow a TV in kids rooms either. We have this rule for every bedroom in our house. We also don't have cable or any TV, only Netflix on our Apple TV. Nobody sits in a secluded room and watches TV by themselves. If DD is really sick we do allow her to watch videos on our laptop in her room with all her blankets and toys, but never all alone. Someone is always in there with her.
FTM
Ill never....
Use a leash on my child.
Co-sleep (going to try the bassinet by our bed since we will both go back to work we NEED good sleep but we will see how it goes!!!)
Thats I'll I can think of for now!! Agreed with a lot of PPs about trying not to say "I'll never" cause I know it's going to be totally different when she comes!
Ours are kind of simple, but w/e:
-no more than 4oz of 100% fruit juice in a day
-I will not be a food freak like my sister, her kids are never allowed fast food, candy, sugar, or non-organic foods
I don't know about "I nevers"... I don't think I ever had something I was that passionate about, but I sure had a few misconceptions.
I didn't understand why babies were so difficult to put to sleep. I always thought that if the parent was having such a hard time putting them to sleep, it was probably because they weren't tired. A tired baby will go to sleep.
Bwhahahaha.....
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
I'm reading through the FTM posts of "no juice". I'd rather give DD a few oz of prune juice each day than listen to her howl in pain from constipation.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
FTM:
The no juice thing.. I think people mean no juice for no reason. Obviously if the kid is constipated, I'd give them juice. Is there something else with out so much sugar that works?
I'm not really in the never camp, but I'd like not to give my kid juice, soda and sweets on a regular business.
My goal is for their first dessert to be cake on their first birthday.
What's with all the hate on the kid leash? I am a FTM and I think it's a stellar idea in big crowds.
Oh, and to steal someone elses never, t.v. in their bedroom. That doesn't seem like a good idea at all.
This is me too! When it comes to sleep you will pretty much do anything!
As an FTM, I'm also trying to not have too many "I'll nevers" but in a perfect world I'll never:
Have psycho light-up noise toys (and MIL already has a room full of the type of crap I wouldn't buy!)
Use a leash on kid
Make separate meals
Spank
Let child have a cellphone until he/she is driving (but I'm worried that it's just going to become normal for kids to have them younger and it'll be tougher to say no...)
A definite one though is no TV in the bedroom. We only had one TV in the house growing up (and then much later an extra that was just for movies) and I don't think it'll be too hard to stick to that.
Re: leashes
I'm not opposed to using them if you're going to be in a very crowded place, your child is a toddler, and adults are outnumbered.
I get irritated when I see parents using them at the grocery store, or at the park when there are two parents, one kid, and the parents are chatting it up and not even paying attention to what their child is doing.
So I suppose I'll use it if it comes down to safety, but I'm never going to use it just because I don't feel like keeping an eye on my kid.
Emilia Antoinette
10.03.12 at 41w5d
We also won't allow a tv in the bedroom. But watching tv? I don't see what the big deal is of having a tv on when a small child is around. I imagine I will have the Today Show on every morning like I always do, and I'm sure LO will be around it.
I will also never use a traditional crib bumper.
I view every thing else as my ideal guidelines.
The only "never" that I think I have is that I would never allow it to become a habit that LO bedshares with us. We are planning on sharing our room for a few weeks to a few months, but by 6 months we're hoping that the transition to LO's room will be done or close to done.
From time to time if they are sick/scared, or in the mornings sometimes, sure - but not on a daily basis. One of my friends is now stuck with a 3 year old who refuses to leave their bed since she kept putting off transitioning him to his own room, and now she has a newborn to deal with on top of that. No one gets any sleep, and I want to avoid that at just about all costs.
I also agree with pp about the no TVs in bedrooms - this never even occurred to me, since I never had one growing up. Not sure if DH agrees since he had one, but I will convince him
We said we would never allow our children to sleep with us...well that changed after a few months of not sleeping. We will try again with this child to make sure LO is happy in her crib from early on but I will not say "Never".
We also said No TV and then I realized that sometimes I need to get stuff done and Dora or the Baby Einstein videos could actually hold DDs attention for a few minutes.
I think we also said we would never have a child that threw temper tantrums...yeah that joke was on us. We still let DD know they are unacceptable and we have removed her from stores for this reason but she definitely threw some tantrums.
And I would just say my "I Never" this time around is I will never say "I never"
We have quite a few, but I'm of the "parenting is mostly common sense camp." I have never, nor will I ever read a baby book. I can't even count how many babies I've been in charge of between babysitting, friends kids, and kids in my family. If I have questions, I'm going to ask one of my girlfriends, cousins, sisters, etc, or call my pediatrician.
One for sure: co-sleeping. I never co-slept, my DH never co-slept. We both have really strong opinions against it, so we won't be doing it. I don't think it will be that difficult, since we both agree.
Trashy clothing: I think baby girl clothes that say "Diva" or "Princess" on it are trashy looking, and I will never put them on my child. I would rather donate them to Goodwill.
Family only babysitters: it drives me BONKERS when my girlfriends or family members can't hire a babysitter to watch their kid/kids at night. Most of them it's because they're too cheap. If I had known people with that mentality growing up, I'd have never had any $$. I have 2 babysitters lined up from the neighborhood that I would trust our baby with if I need to run to the store, or Tim and I want to go to a movie or something.
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
FTM- I will never let my kid sit and play video games all the time. They need to get outside and play. Learn to have an imagination. Like I did when i was young.
I will never give my child a cell phone till they are driving and need one.
I know everyone says this but my kids are going to mind. I cant stand when kids act up.
I think thats all i have and i think i can stick to them. We will see.
TTC since 10/2010-BFP 12/23/2011
Baby 2.0 BFP 10/16/2015