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Feeling sorry for myself.

This will be the most difficult mothers day of my life!  I've had lots of hard ones as I have lost my mother and only grandmother (who lived with us and helped raise me) but this year I also have to grieve the fact that I will never ever have a child of my very own.  And that freaking hurts!!!!  As difficult as it was I could deal with we're having trouble and may not get pregnant bc there was still hope no matter how little hope there was. But now there is no hope. I will never ever experience the joy of pregnancy. Heck I may not even be able to adopt bc of cancer. Sorry for all of the whining. I'm just beside myself with grief right now am and home alone

Re: Feeling sorry for myself.

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    Geeno28Geeno28 member
    words cannot express how sorry I am for this...Big hugs.
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    Huge Hugs love

    TTC since 2010

    lots of IUIs and 1 IVF all BFNs

    FET currently on hold

    photo guiness-1.jpg

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    I'm so sorry :-( let's all skip mothers day this year. It does not exist.
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    Don't apologize.  You have every right to express your grief.  I am so sorry,  no one should have to go through what you are going through. 
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    TTC since April 2010
    Diagnosed w/PCOS as a teen
    Aug 2011 dx MFI
    Oct 2011 referral to RE 1500mg Met
    5 Rounds of Clomid
    On waiting list for injects/IUI
    P/SAIF Welcome
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    Suz+MoSuz+Mo member

    This is so incredibly hard and heartbreaking.  Prayers for peace for you Pulga!

    can you and H go do something special on sunday to escape?  (and bring sprite and crackers with you just in case the nausea hits again)  (((hugs))

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    Love you Pulga!!!!
    DX: Anovulation
    TX: IUI #1-4 = BFN + 1 c/p
    IUI #5: Clomid 100mg + Bravelle + Trigger + B2B IUIs + 800mg Progesterone = BFP!
    Beta #1 (14dpiui): 460 Beta #2 (16dpiui): 998 Beta #3 (23dpiui): 21,832 Beta #4 (29dpiui): 129,771

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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    ::snatches pulga up and wraps her in a cozy blanket and snuggles::

    I'm so sorry, babe. I can only imagine the pain and hurt. We love you and so does your dad and hubs. I hope you can get through Sunday alright. Thinking of you always.  

    imageimage. image 

    || 4 years TTC, 2 M/Cs image 4 failed IUIs, 1 failed IVF || 

    || DIA brought us our beautiful daughter || 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    MJ14323MJ14323 member
    I'm so sorry. {{HUGS}}

    **SIGGY WARNING**

    TTC since Nov 2010 | Me: 29, DH: 31 
    DX - Severe DOR, Stage II Endo
    6 rounds medicated TI, 3 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs
    After nearly 4 years of trying, our 1st BFP on IVF #3 (5R, 3M, 3F, 3 day 5 blasts frozen) 
    FET - Beta #1 - 116, Beta #2 - 266!! 1st U/S on 10/6 - HB 121 and measuring perfectly! EDD 5/30/15

    Everyone Welcome
    Baseball, Beagles, Beer and Babies Blog

    imageimageimage

    BabyFruit Ticker
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    I am so sorry. ((hugs))
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    Don't apologize!  You have every reason to fell this way and need to be able to express your feelings.  Big (((HUGS!!)))
    Me- 37, DH- 32. TTC- June 2010- Adoption journey started April 2012 image
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    Oh Pulga I am crying for you. No woman should ever have to go through this or feel like this. The words "Im Sorry" dont even sum it up. I wish there was more I could do. I am heartbroken for you and wish you could sleep through Sunday. I am so sorry this is happening and I wish you a great weekend with DH. I hope he is able to keep you busy and that you do something special together or just for you.

     You are one of the strongest people I know. Your strength is an inspiration and I admire your courage. Just know there are tons of people here who love you and care for you (and DH!). Nothing I can say will ever replace the facts you mentioned but I hope you find some comfort. 

    <3

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    I'm so sorry pluga. :( Thinking of you and admiring your strength. Super super big hugs!!
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    I'm so sorry Pulga!  Huge hugs to you!  I'll be thinking about you!

    TTC since 5/2010
    DX with Diminished Ovarian Reserve - AMH of 1.1 - 7/2011; AMH of .42 8/2012
    BFP 9/1/10-M/C confirmed 9/8/10-Methotrexate 10/6/10
    IUI #1 (w/clomid)-9/5/11-BFN ; IUI #2 (w/clomid)-10/5/11 - BFP - 11/1/12-No sac seen; 11/2/11 and 11/9/11-Methotrexate 
    IVF #1- ER 2/2; ET 2/5;-Two 8 cell embryos transfered = BFFN
    Surprise BFP - 5/7/12
    U/S on 6/8/12 - H/B at 128 BPM; U/S on 6/14/12 @ 9wks-No H/B-D&C on 6/17/12
    IVF 2.0- ER 10/17; ET 10/20-One 12 cell, one 10 cell and one 8 cell embryo transfered
    BFP!   11/16/12 U/S- Two nuggets with perfect heartbeats! EDD 7/10/13

     

    5/31/2013- My miracles arrived at 34w2d!  Welcome to the world Harper and Nolan!Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    My Blog- http://waitingonaangel.wordpress.com/

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    I am so sorry!!!
    Unexplained infertility; TTC #1 for 5 years
    IUI #1; m/c;c/p 3/15/2012
    IUI #2: Clomid, ovidrel trigger, prometrium;4/5/12; BFFN; IUI #3, clomid and injects; Beta June 8th????
    imagePhotobucket
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    Awww honey I am so sorry! Sending you lots and lots of hugs today!
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    tayray1tayray1 member
    I'm so sorry you have to go through this..sending thoughts your way, and hoping this sad time will pass quickly. I believe that you will get the baby you were meant to someday soon!
    Patiently waiting for our 1st since 9/2010.
    Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
    May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
    June- Cycle Break
    July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
    August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
    image
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    ksfryeksfrye member

    imagemaggie2324:
    I'm so sorry :-( let's all skip mothers day this year. It does not exist.

    Great plan maggie!  I'm so sorry Pulga!  ((Hugs)) 

    Happily married Since May 2008. TTC#1 Since May 2010.
    Me: 29, Mild DOR
    DH: 31, SE mostly normal, 1st SE morph 5%, 2nd SE morph 15%...yeah!.
    BFP July 2011, Natural MC August 2011.
    3 cycles of 50mg Clomid = BFN
    *New RE* Feb/Mar 2012 100 mg Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN
    *3rd RE* April-June -Break Cycles begin prep for IVF by doing 2 Heparin injects daily....fun fun!
    IVF #1 - ER 7/19, ET 7/24, 2 beautiful embies transferred. Beta 8/2 = BFN
    *New RE...yes again* FET Nov 2012 with our lone ranger = BFFN
    RE Suggests Trying IUI Again, Jan. 2013 IUI #2 =BFN
    Feb. 2013 IUI #3 = BFP!!!, Beta #1 (15dpIUI) = 90, Beta #2 (17dpIUI) = 210, U/S Scheduled for 3/18
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    I am so, so sorry. My heart hurts for you. Sending hugs.
    Anniversary
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    Dear Pulga,

    Sending you huge (((hugs))).  You deserve so much more.

    That is all.

    Love,
    jenjen

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    I'm so very sorry pulga. ((hugs))
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    Mothers Day is always tuff for me too. Recently I have been crying a lot seeing these cute mothers day commercials. But I feel silly being sad after everything you are going through. I know nothing I say will help, just know that we are here if you need us.

     

    Huge Hugs xoxoxox ( Squeeze)

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Me: 28 // DH: 28 TTC #1 since 6/2010 Unexplained Infertility Diagnoses HSG: all clear 07/2011 // SA: Great! 07/2011 SHG : everything normal 08/2011 100mg Clomid, Ovidrel Shot, TI = BFN 09/29/2011 unmediated IUI #1 BFN 10/10/2011 taking a break from fertility treatments 11/2011 Clomid 50 mg IUI #2 BFN 03/2012 Clomid 100 mg IUI #3 BFN IVF scheduled for July 2012 08/29/2012 BFP! Beta #1 on 8/29 250 Beta #2 on 8/31-461 BabyFruit Ticker My Blog
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    imagemaggie2324:
    I'm so sorry :-( let's all skip mothers day this year. It does not exist.

    I'm down with this.

    Sorry you are sad. :(  We could always rebrand the holiday. Turn it into Dye Your Cat Blue Day or something. Blue cats always cheer me up. If you don't have a cat, or you only have a black cat that won't properly dye blue, you could always dye someone else cat. 

    4 IUIs: Bfn
    Antagonist IVF 7 retrieved, 4 fert w/ICSI&AH, 2 blasts transferred. Beta #1 9/20: 367 Beta #2 9/22: 841
    image image
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    Oh honey, I wish I could hug you in a real life. I know that losing your mother was very hard on you. You didn't deserve what life has dealt you, but I am in awe of your strength and optimism. We are here for you, no matter what!!

    <3<3<3!!! 

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    mnj05mnj05 member
    I'm so sorry hon! I'll be thinking of you, as always!

     imagePhotobucket

    TTC #1 since 3/2011
    DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
    DH is a testicular cancer survivor
    IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
    ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
    Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
    Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal

    IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.

    FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216  Beta #2: 823


    Baby Boy born 7/10/2015


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    alb245alb245 member
    ((((HUGSHUGSHUGS)))))  I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through!! I'm so, so sorry. 
    image

    ~~PgAL March Siggy Challenge - Pet Shaming~~
    image
    TTC #1 since Feb 2011 Dx: MTHFR C677T Homozygous, Antiphospholipid Syndrome, LPD
    BFP #1: 8/4/11 c/p 4w5d
    BFP #2: 9/4/11 c/p 5w0d
    BFP #3: 1/16/12 c/p 4w0d
    BFP #4 8/9/12 m/c 7w3d
    BFP #5 11/2/12 ?EDD 7/16/13? PLEASE grow sweet baby!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Biggest hugs to you, Pulga. I will be thinking of you.

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
    Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
    Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
    DH: Severe MFI

    12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)

    My ovaries are just for decoration

    12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
    2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
    2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
    3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
     
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
    9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
    11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
    My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
     
        image      image 
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    ::HUGS::  I can't even begin to understand how you're feeling but my T&Ps are with you.

    image image imageimageimage  

    CFNBC after 8 losses and IF || History || My Angel Babies

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    There is no reason to apologize, this board is here to help when you need it!!! I am so so sorry for all that you have been through. You are so strong, even when you think you are not.
    TTC with help since 3/17/11
    Me:30 DH:36
    Taking Provera, Metformin and Clomid
    June Clomid 50mg cd 3-7, no O
    August Clomid 100mg cd 3-7, no O
    PCOS dx 9/23/11 & BC to reset hormones
    November Clomid 100mg cd 1-5, poss O cd41, BFN
    HSG - All Clear 11/23/11
    P/SAIF Welcome!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    *big huge squishy hugs* :( 

    TTC #1 ♥ since 1/11 
    BFP #1 8/21/11 - EDD 5/1/12 - M/C 9/25/11 ♥ BFP #2 11/17/11 - EDD 8/1/12 - C/P 11/20/11
    DH (37) SA = mediocre  Me (31) Low AMH/DOR, Septate Uterus (repaired via Hysteroscopy)
    IUI 1-3 = 3 BFNs ♥ IVF 11/12 = BFFN :( ♥ IUI 4 + Injects 1/13 = BFN :(IUI 5 + Injects = cancelled due to cyst
    BFP #3 - 3/9/13 ♥ EDD 11/21/13 Break cycle miracle! ♥ Stick baby, stick!!  IT'S A GIRL!
    Caitlyn Emma born 11-6-13, 5lb 7.5oz, 18.5in

    ♥ Congrats BFPB HuskyMomma94, David arrived 4/26/12!  And #2 due 3/10/14! ♥
    ♥ Luck and love BFPB siple1am!! ♥

    image image 
    image image image
    My Chart ♥ My Blog  Magic Love!!  ITFB Love!!
    ♥ Everyone Welcome 
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    DMCKnoxDMCKnox member
    Love and hugs to you Pulga. So sorry you are struggling and have endured such loss in your life. Knowing what a good heart you have and how you've touched so many lives on this board I pray for wonderful and beautiful things to come for you and your family. 
    TTC since 7/2010
    Dx: Anovulation, Endo, only one working tube and ovary
    IUIs 1-5 = BFNs
    IVF #1 - ER 7/9 3dt 7/12
    Transferred two beautiful 8 cell embryos
    Beta #1 7/26 = 484 Beta #2 7/28 = 1045
    . U/S 8/10 showed one baby with a strong heartbeat!
    It's a BOY!!BabyFruit Ticker
    <a href="http://s1226.photobucket.com/albums/ee408/dmcutshaw/?action=view
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    Thanks to all of you!! I know mothers day will be a hard day for all of us. I appreciate all of your kind words and support. You made me feel a lot better
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    I'm so sorry Pulga.
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    I'm so sorry.  I wish there were words I could say.
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    I know nothing I can say will change things or make it better, but I am thinking of you today.  You are an inspiring woman.
      image

    TTC starting November 2010  HSG clear, DH SA #1- Slightly low count & motility SA#2-normal
    Lap&Dye/Hysterscopy Feb 2012: Endo stage 2
    April - June 2012: Femera 5 mg & 3 IUIs = All BFN    July/August 2012: IVF #1 = C/P
    September/October 2012: IVF #2 BFP! Beta 1= 223 Beta 2 = 480 Beta 3 = 11,440
    My beautiful daughter was born June 21, 2013
    TTC #2 naturally, no luck
    IVF #3 April 2015: BFN
    IVF #4 July 2015: BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt = 409, Beta 2 13dp5dt = 1743


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    (((((huge hugs))))))  You are always in my T&Ps lady
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


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    Pulga,

    Been thinking about you today. I'm so sorry for all that you have had to go through and endure. My arms (and ears) are open; ready to give you a great BIG hug, whenever you need one.  

    image
    Married June 2007, TTC since May 2010. Me=40, age-related infertility, DOR, low prog, low AMH. DH=37,low morph.
    IUI#1 (Dec. 2011)=BFN, IUI#2=unexpected early O=TI=BFN. Official IUI#2=BFN.
    IUI#3=3/17/12=BFN.
    Stims for IVF#1 started 7/6/12. ER done 7/15/12. ICSI and AH. Transferred 2 embies 7/17/12. Stick little ones, stick! Beta 7/30/12=BFN HcG less than 2.
    Surprise BFP while deciding next steps! EDD: 5/10/13
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Pulga, been thinking about you today.  I'm so sorry for all that you have had to go through and endure. :(

    Our arms (and ears) are open to you whenever you need 'em... <HUGS>

    image
    Married June 2007, TTC since May 2010. Me=40, age-related infertility, DOR, low prog, low AMH. DH=37,low morph.
    IUI#1 (Dec. 2011)=BFN, IUI#2=unexpected early O=TI=BFN. Official IUI#2=BFN.
    IUI#3=3/17/12=BFN.
    Stims for IVF#1 started 7/6/12. ER done 7/15/12. ICSI and AH. Transferred 2 embies 7/17/12. Stick little ones, stick! Beta 7/30/12=BFN HcG less than 2.
    Surprise BFP while deciding next steps! EDD: 5/10/13
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Oops...Sorry for the double post, all. My computer lags.
    image
    Married June 2007, TTC since May 2010. Me=40, age-related infertility, DOR, low prog, low AMH. DH=37,low morph.
    IUI#1 (Dec. 2011)=BFN, IUI#2=unexpected early O=TI=BFN. Official IUI#2=BFN.
    IUI#3=3/17/12=BFN.
    Stims for IVF#1 started 7/6/12. ER done 7/15/12. ICSI and AH. Transferred 2 embies 7/17/12. Stick little ones, stick! Beta 7/30/12=BFN HcG less than 2.
    Surprise BFP while deciding next steps! EDD: 5/10/13
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Pulga,

    Mother's Day with IF sucks, no doubt... and I know it is especially a heartache for you!  I haven't known you long, but I think of you often and always look for your words on this board.

    You encourage, comfort, inspire, motivate, shelter, guard, congratulate, share with, cry with, grieve with, laugh with, and hug so many women on this board that need you!  You are more mother to these woman than most of the "natural mothers" I know.  

    Happy Mother's Day to you... I don't think we should change the holiday, we just need to recognize what a mother is.  Thanks for being a constant motherly support here... for some, this is the only place we can fill that void in our lives.

    {{{HUGS}}} 

    TTC for 5 years, with 2 failed IUIs. Excited to grow our family through international adoption!
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

    Be JOYFUL in HOPE, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ~Romans 12:12
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