Can I make a confession?

JenniatONU

Kay thanks.

Every time I see another twin announcement, I feel like a part of me dies. And then I get all "why are you sad? You have a healthy baby on the way! Be grateful!"

And then I feel bad for being sad and jealous, and angry. And then I start the cycle all over again.

Why can I not just move on? Blah! We were told the chances of vanishing twins. I was in denial. When we first found out, I was a bit ragey, but then I was very calm about it. Now, it just keeps getting worse every day.

I need some cheering up, or some sense smacked into me. I don't know what.

Help?

 

Jackquelyn

I'm sorry.  I can't imagine having to struggle with those emotions.  I hope it gets better for you quickly.

+easye+

It was still a loss. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Be sure to give yourself time to grieve that baby, it doesn't mean you are any less grateful for the baby that you have. Hugs for you.

JordanL1221

A loss is a loss. While you were shocked to hear you were having twins, you stepped up and realized you were going to be a mommy of two. You and DH probably started planning for two and that was your reality. Then, your world got turned upside down. I would feel the same way. We love you!

LLK122207

I'm so sorry! I'll be better about my posts titles!! I was so scared to not see 2 today I just didn't think! You are in my thoughts and I can't imagine how horrible it must feel! I'm again so sorry! 

JenniatONU

LLK122207:

I'm so sorry! I'll be better about my posts titles!! I was so scared to not see 2 today I just didn't think! You are in my thoughts and I can't imagine how horrible it must feel! I'm again so sorry! 

No, no no! You are fine! It has NOTHING to do with your title. I would have opened it up regardless.

I'm so happy for those of you expecting two miracles, and I would never ask for you not to post about it!

denise_m

What you are feeling is grief and loss and absolutely normal. Allow yourself to grieve for the baby you lost, without feeling guilty about the baby you still have. Having one child doesn't diminish the value or love you feel for the one you lost. 

LLK122207

JenniatONU:

LLK122207:

I'm so sorry! I'll be better about my posts titles!! I was so scared to not see 2 today I just didn't think! You are in my thoughts and I can't imagine how horrible it must feel! I'm again so sorry! 

No, no no! You are fine! It has NOTHING to do with your title. I would have opened it up regardless.

I'm so happy for those of you expecting two miracles, and I would never ask for you not to post about it!

I'll post but I won't "flaunt". I know how horrible a loss is and I would never want to make it harder for you....Some day I may be in your shoes. Maybe avoid my posts for a while! Again I'm so sorry! I would feel the same way! Give yourself time to grieve! You and your LOs are in my thoughts!

LadyNikon

((HUGS YOU GOOD))  You are within your rights to have all of those feelings.  I would never ever tell you otherwise.  It will take awhile to move on.   

MSJM2010

I am so sorry!  I think it is completely natural for you to be sad, jealous, angry and anyone that tells you to just be grateful for one baby is not being very sensitive.  Take your time to griev the lost twin.  T&Ps are with you.

NeverKnew

You're trying to get over a feeling that you need to process. It's grief, and it's right. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to post this here, because you are in a unique spot. I don't think you'd probably feel comfortable posting on the m/c board, but you *have* had a loss. It's okay to mourn that. (((hugs)))

mama2many

Loss is loss, regardless of how early and whether or not you get to have another baby. Be easy on yourself, go ahead and grieve - grieving is what will bring you thru itself. And, you are allowed to remember the twin who doesn't remain too.

gakester8

I'm so sorry. *hugs* I know how hard hearing about pregnancies was while going through fertility treatments, so I can only imagine how much your heart is aching now. 

stacey2345

Im so sorry for your loss and the emotions you are struggling with but it seems completely normal to me and best you get those emotions out to others who can support you as best we can, sending hugs your way

JLSmith124

I agree with all the PP, it was a loss. Even though you still have a baby in there, there were two at one point and you are grieving for that loss. 

I have those thoughts sometimes as well. Back when I was having my bleeding issues, I really do think that I had twins and I lost one. I was passing clots and tissue. The doctor couldn't confirm and said it was possible but he couldn't say for sure. I believe in my heart that I did have two in there, and I know what you are going through. ::hugs:: 

Sunglow28

I'm so sorry. This isn't comparable, necessarily, but when I found I was pregnant (with what I thought was one), I started writing a story in my head about my hopes and expectations of what it would be like to be a mom and what my baby would be like. When I found out it was twins, even though it sounds stupid, I felt like I had "lost" my baby and was now having two little strangers. Now that I am getting used to the idea of twins, I am re-writing my story yet again, and I am getting to know my new life.

I think what is lost will always be a part of you, and I imagine it will always be a sadness, I hope you get used to your new script and can embrace all it offers soon. 

KikiCohen

+easye+:

It was still a loss. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Be sure to give yourself time to grieve that baby, it doesn't mean you are any less grateful for the baby that you have. Hugs for you.

My sentiments exactly! 

NoeliaV

KikiCohen:

+easye+:

It was still a loss. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Be sure to give yourself time to grieve that baby, it doesn't mean you are any less grateful for the baby that you have. Hugs for you.

My sentiments exactly! 

Me, too.

::hugs:: for you.