This is going to sound stupid, but I can't help it..

beeunit

..right now, I'm surrounded by boys.  H, DS1, and our 2 dogs.  All boys.  Last night, H had his feet on me, Aaron was laying on me, and the dogs were both on either side of my legs.  I was literally covered in testosterone.  As much as I love love love having a boy, I think I'm starting to change my tune.  I always said I wanted to have a house full of boys (like Tim and Jill Taylor from Tool Time...yeah...), but now I'm living it.  I need some sort of female energy.  So now I'm kind of silently hoping this baby is a girl.  Here is the part that is going to sound stupid (and quite possibly rude).

MIL said that if it's a girl, she still has all of SIL's dresses from when she was little.  My IL's have awful taste (err, different taste than what I have).  I can just imagine the velvet and sateen that is going to be pouring out of the closet.  MIL also doesn't keep things super cleaned or organized, so I'm sure that these dresses aren't in great condition.  The are also 16+ years old.  They probably weren't in style back then, and they DEFINITELY won't be now.  I do not want my baby wearing them.  She gave Aaron one of H's old suits once (for Easter, maybe?) and it was so hideous, I couldn't do it.  I lied and told her it didn't fit him.  She didn't believe me, but I don't care.  I know how that sounds.  I'll probably get flamed for being an ungrateful biitch.  That's alright, you don't know my MIL and how she can be a bit controlling and forceful.  You also don't know how she dresses (think white sandals and black socks, mom jeans, and a shirt that barely hits the wasteline of her too high jeans), and what she thinks is acceptable. 

Maybe I DO want a boy.

MrsT1108

Screw that, I wouldn't put those clothes on my kid either!

SingleMom31

You may get flamed, but I think you're awesome.   My mom is like that too.  She has fairly bad taste IMO.  I also know that she's going to try using this as an excuse for me to take everything that I own out of her house that she's "kept for me."  Blah.

beeunit

MrsT1108:

Screw that, I wouldn't put those clothes on my kid either!

Phew!  I'm glad I'm not alone :-)

beeunit

SingleMom31:

You may get flamed, but I think you're awesome.   My mom is like that too.  She has fairly bad taste IMO.  I also know that she's going to try using this as an excuse for me to take everything that I own out of her house that she's "kept for me."  Blah.

I don't know why moms do this.  I mean, I guess I do, because it's sentimental and you looked SO CUTE in it all when it was 1980...but it's now 2012.  There are so many adorable dresses and things out there for little girls..why am I going to put the one on from my childhood, that smells like moth balls and has a hole in it? 

jenyjeny

ohhhh she still has all their old clothes? how sweet. I would be visiting her often. With scissors... 

cowgirltu

Sounds like something my MIL is trying to pull. Good luck!

mjs_pmk

My MIL was all excited to give me the clothes that she saved from DH and his brothers. Some of the clothes were 30 years old by the time she wanted to give it to me. It was all buried somewhere in her basement and she couldn't get to it when DS was a baby. They moved out of their house a year ago and she found all the clothes. Even she looked at them and realized it wasn't worth saving them for all these years. I am pretty sure she threw most of it out. What is weird is that some of the items I would have liked to see/use (DH's baptism suit) she didn't seem to have. DS wore my brothers' suit instead.

8daysaweek

I don't think you're awful for feeling that way. I'd probably feel the same. My mom insists on finding the worst things in DD's closet (stuff that's clearly hand-me-downs I never noticed or that my mom found at a garage sale or something and gave to me) any time she gets to watch her. I came home one day she was watching DD and she's wearing the most awful lavender overalls with this frilly lace on the edges. Ugh. My mom wants DD dressed exactly like she dressed me - in 1983.

If I were you, I'd look at them and pick maybe one or two you can live with (even if it's just for a couple hours of visiting them or a quick picture) and then tell her that you just KNOW that SIL will want the rest of them kept nice for her daughters some day and you couldn't possibly take all those adorable things because you'd feel just terrible if something happened to them or they were lost. 

beeunit

mjs_pmk:

My MIL was all excited to give me the clothes that she saved from DH and his brothers. Some of the clothes were 30 years old by the time she wanted to give it to me. It was all buried somewhere in her basement and she couldn't get to it when DS was a baby. They moved out of their house a year ago and she found all the clothes. Even she looked at them and realized it wasn't worth saving them for all these years. I am pretty sure she threw most of it out. What is weird is that some of the items I would have liked to see/use (DH's baptism suit) she didn't seem to have. DS wore my brothers' suit instead.

That is weird.  That's really the only kind of stuff that to me would be worth saving/using again, regardless of age (unless it's so old it's falling apart, yellowed with age, etc, etc).  But some random dress?  No.  And it wouldn't be enough for her for me to just take a picture in it.  She'd want the kid paraded around church, on Christmas morning, then taken to dinner in it.  All so she could say it was her daughters originally.  No.  Just no.

Ladylec

I would tell her flat out that you don't want them because I am very honest even if it comes off as rude, I don't really care lol But you can use the excuse "You should save them for SIL's kids when she has them." Definitely wouldn't put them on my kid either.

cassoppea

Ok my own mom pulled out my baby clothes (which were stained and gross) and was offended that I didn't want to put them on my daughter. People are so weird with baby clothes. I wouldn't put them on my kid either.

As for wanting a girl - I'm not in your shoes but I can see where you are coming from. I have a little girl and girls are awesome (but I don't know anything else). I feel like MH can more relate and is secretly praying for a boy. It's me and my LO and our girl cat and then our boy cat who acts like a princess. Poor DH is surrounded by girls.

beeunit

8daysaweek:

I don't think you're awful for feeling that way. I'd probably feel the same. My mom insists on finding the worst things in DD's closet (stuff that's clearly hand-me-downs I never noticed or that my mom found at a garage sale or something and gave to me) any time she gets to watch her. I came home one day she was watching DD and she's wearing the most awful lavender overalls with this frilly lace on the edges. Ugh. My mom wants DD dressed exactly like she dressed me - in 1983.

If I were you, I'd look at them and pick maybe one or two you can live with (even if it's just for a couple hours of visiting them or a quick picture) and then tell her that you just KNOW that SIL will want the rest of them kept nice for her daughters some day and you couldn't possibly take all those adorable things because you'd feel just terrible if something happened to them or they were lost. 

Hahaha, H's aunt watches Aaron all day (MIL's sister, so along the same lines of "taste") and I will come home from work to find him with a turtle neck and courdouroys (is that how you spell that?) on.  What the heck?  He has a ton of clothes, and you pull out the hand-me-down turtle neck and coords?  Alright, then. 

And you're right, I can definitely pick one or two, and then tell her to keep the rest for SIL.  The only issue is going to be when I put the dress on for an hour and then take it off.  She's going to hound me about wearing it on special days (like Christmas..to church, pictures, dinner with family we never see, etc).  I don't want people to think I choose to dress my baby that way.  I definitely care TOO much about what other people think.

8daysaweek

beeunit:

8daysaweek:

I don't think you're awful for feeling that way. I'd probably feel the same. My mom insists on finding the worst things in DD's closet (stuff that's clearly hand-me-downs I never noticed or that my mom found at a garage sale or something and gave to me) any time she gets to watch her. I came home one day she was watching DD and she's wearing the most awful lavender overalls with this frilly lace on the edges. Ugh. My mom wants DD dressed exactly like she dressed me - in 1983.

If I were you, I'd look at them and pick maybe one or two you can live with (even if it's just for a couple hours of visiting them or a quick picture) and then tell her that you just KNOW that SIL will want the rest of them kept nice for her daughters some day and you couldn't possibly take all those adorable things because you'd feel just terrible if something happened to them or they were lost. 

Hahaha, H's aunt watches Aaron all day (MIL's sister, so along the same lines of "taste") and I will come home from work to find him with a turtle neck and courdouroys (is that how you spell that?) on.  What the heck?  He has a ton of clothes, and you pull out the hand-me-down turtle neck and coords?  Alright, then. 

And you're right, I can definitely pick one or two, and then tell her to keep the rest for SIL.  The only issue is going to be when I put the dress on for an hour and then take it off.  She's going to hound me about wearing it on special days (like Christmas..to church, pictures, dinner with family we never see, etc).  I don't want people to think I choose to dress my baby that way.  I definitely care TOO much about what other people think.

If that's the case, I'd have  H ("Your mother, your problem, honey") tell her that it's important to the two of you to pick out Christmas, etc., outfits for the kids together and something you are really looking forward to for your first daughter.

Pamela05

I'm sorry her hand me downs would suck. I'm picky and just pass on a lot but am totally looking forward to the girl stuff in our family if we have one. A few of the boy things from my brother did fit in season and it was fun. 

 

ngarden01

SingleMom31:You may get flamed, but I think you're awesome.  

'nuff said It's your baby.. you don't have to do what anyone else tells you! Come back when it's time and I'm sure we'll all help you come up with excuses as to why you don't want the clothes!

beeunit

ngarden01:

SingleMom31:

You may get flamed, but I think you're awesome.  

'nuff said It's your baby.. you don't have to do what anyone else tells you! Come back when it's time and I'm sure we'll all help you come up with excuses as to why you don't want the clothes!

Yes!!!!  Sounds good :-)

Luthy

I'm sorry your MIL may cause you problems! I totally relate with the being surrounded by boys though... DH, the dog, even the rabbit are all male and I don't think I can deal with any more testosterone up in here! Even DH agrees we need to even the score a bit...

LLK122207

Ahhhh you sound like me!!! I have DH, DS, and 2 male furbabies!! Now the thought of twin boys... Woah!! Hahha! I'm scared! 

My family knows how visual and fashionable I am so they're use to me not liking certain things they pick out! No flamming here!! 

m21megs

beeunit:

..right now, I'm surrounded by boys.  H, DS1, and our 2 dogs.  All boys.  Last night, H had his feet on me, Aaron was laying on me, and the dogs were both on either side of my legs.  I was literally covered in testosterone.  As much as I love love love having a boy, I think I'm starting to change my tune.  I always said I wanted to have a house full of boys (like Tim and Jill Taylor from Tool Time...yeah...), but now I'm living it.  I need some sort of female energy.  So now I'm kind of silently hoping this baby is a girl.  Here is the part that is going to sound stupid (and quite possibly rude).

MIL said that if it's a girl, she still has all of SIL's dresses from when she was little.  My IL's have awful taste (err, different taste than what I have).  I can just imagine the velvet and sateen that is going to be pouring out of the closet.  MIL also doesn't keep things super cleaned or organized, so I'm sure that these dresses aren't in great condition.  The are also 16+ years old.  They probably weren't in style back then, and they DEFINITELY won't be now.  I do not want my baby wearing them.  She gave Aaron one of H's old suits once (for Easter, maybe?) and it was so hideous, I couldn't do it.  I lied and told her it didn't fit him.  She didn't believe me, but I don't care.  I know how that sounds.  I'll probably get flamed for being an ungrateful biitch.  That's alright, you don't know my MIL and how she can be a bit controlling and forceful.  You also don't know how she dresses (think white sandals and black socks, mom jeans, and a shirt that barely hits the wasteline of her too high jeans), and what she thinks is acceptable. 

Maybe I DO want a boy.

I literally Laughed out loud at this because I am in the exact same testosterone boat. My hubby, 2 boy dogs that lay on me all the time, and all male co-workers except 2!!! I'm surrounded by boys! So this leads me to have a strong feeling I'm having a boy. I'd be shocked to have a girl. 

denise_m

If your SIL and baby aren't close to sharing a birthday, it may all be out of season anyways  Or, it could get messed up when you wash it in dreft