the truth about baby registry's — The Bump
Baby Showers

the truth about baby registry's

Ok so my shower is in two weeks and not hardly one thing has been bought off of our registry's.  It's starting to irritate me.  It took alot of time for myself and my husband to go through the stores and scan stuff and I was at least hoping that people would get us a few things off of our registry. 

So what is all of yur expereinces?  This is our first child, so just wondering what you ladies have had happen to you...did people buy you stuff off of your registry or did they just buy you whatever they felt like getting you?

 I  really don't want to have to end up returning a bunch of stuff that we don't like or anready have duplicates of.  I don't understand why people just wouldn't shop off of someones registry.

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Re: the truth about baby registry's

  • you are registry stalking WAY too early.  This is one of the busiest times of the year for many people other than December.  End of the school year, graduations, weddings, etc.  

    Most people don't buy a gift until the day before or the day OF the shower.  

    chill a bit and don't registry stalk if it's going to get you all worked up 

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    Gretchen Evie, born 7/8/2012 at 35w5d
  • HEHE Thanks.  I am a little bit of a registry stalker...however, i remember with our wedding registry that gifts started being taken off alot sooner than two weeks before our wedding showers.
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  • Just so you know a registry is only a "suggestion" as to what people can buy.  No one has to buy off of it and you should be grateful for whatever you do get.  If you don't like what was given to you still graciously accept it and return it for what you do want.

    And be prepared to get a lot of clothes because it's more fun to pick out cute baby clothes than boring items on a registry....just saying.   Not everyone, especially the older generation, like dealing with registries. And before you start assuming I actually always get a gift off someone's registry but I also include a cute outfit not on it.....but that's just me.

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  • you have to keep your expectations in check.  I am having a girl so I fully expect a ton of pink clothes from shower guests.  I will probably have to buy many of the things on my own registry but that's okay.  I don't invite people or have showers to get what I need, I do it to celebrate with my close friends and family.  We saved and can afford the things our own baby needs and I don't mind buying it myself with the completion code.  

    one way or another I'll get what I need and the time I spent on my registry wasn't a waste.   

    image
    Gretchen Evie, born 7/8/2012 at 35w5d
  • I don't want people to start thinking that I am a spoiled brat by my post.  I will be polite and grateful for whatever someone gives us at the shower. However, we already have two different groups of people that have given us boxes of good clothing that their babies can not wear any longer. I really don't feel like we need anymore clothing at this point.  I guess I am just worried that we are going to have to go out and buy a ton of stuff ourselves because people are going to get us what they want to rather than what we have scanned and need.

    While I am kinda on topic of returning items...does anyone know how easy it is to return stuff to babies r us and target that you get from a baby shower?

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  • what is the completion code thing you are talking about?
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  • drbethcdrbethc
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    image carolinehwrd:

    I don't want people to start thinking that I am a spoiled brat by my post.  I will be polite and grateful for whatever someone gives us at the shower. However, we already have two different groups of people that have given us boxes of good clothing that their babies can not wear any longer. I really don't feel like we need anymore clothing at this point.  I guess I am just worried that we are going to have to go out and buy a ton of stuff ourselves because people are going to get us what they want to rather than what we have scanned and need.

    While I am kinda on topic of returning items...does anyone know how easy it is to return stuff to babies r us and target that you get from a baby shower?

     

    people are going to get you what they want....AND it is to be expected that you're going to need to purchase (as you put it a "ton of stuff") because it is your responsibility to provide for your baby's necessities, not anyone else's... 

  • I don't have a problem providing and buying my own stuff for my child. I just simple am worried about people only getting us clothing which is something that we really don't need.
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  • oh hey there, GREEDY.  People tend to shop close to the shower, not way ahead of time AND they can buy you WHATEVER THEY WANT.  You disgust me.
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  • image theresat858:

    Well, for one thing, the purpose of a shower isn't to provide for your child... the research you did will still be useful in purchasing everything left that you need after your showers.

    I had a few guests buy larger items off of my registry (close family/family friends), and everyone else bought clothes...we didn't need any clothes (got tons of hand me downs), but some of it was super cute.  I used the registry completion discount on Amazon to buy a fair bit of the rest of what we needed, and I plan to use my BRU discount today or next weekend, once I narrow down what we *actually* need before baby comes.

    This, although we did still need clothes and I had fun going through all of the outfits people picked out!

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  • I would not worry to much. I got basically all of the big items off of my registry at my shower. I to was a registry stalker:) there were only like 2 items marked off. Viciously people did but off of my registry exuse t was exactly what I put on it but the did not tell the cashier. With that being said I did get ALOT of duplicates. But it was ok because if you do not get a receipt all you have to do is go online and mark it off of your BRU registry and take it back. They will give you Instore credit:) also if you get stuff you don't like add it to your registry then check it as marked then take it back! That's what idid! I to was like you! The LAST think I need was clothes! I got lucky and didn't get any but I think it had a lot to do with when I would talk to friends/family I would say something like this baby already has lots more clothes than he could ever ever wear! 

     

    Now about the completion coupon: BRU and Target both send them in the mail. I got my target one Friday. Haven't recieved BRU yet. What it is is a coupon for 10% off what all is left on your registry. Only downside is there are lots of restrictions! You cannot buy diapers formula and lots of stuff with them. Also you can only use it one day which kinda stinks too. What I have found is really good is every time you purchase something in store at BRU on your receipt there are lots of coupons. 2 are for 20% a single item! They also five them to you when you return items!!

     

    Hope some of this helped! Try not to worry about your registry to much because Like I said it may just not get marked off:) Goodluck:) hope you get everything you want/need:) 

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  • image cwm11985:
    oh hey there, GREEDY.  People tend to shop close to the shower, not way ahead of time AND they can buy you WHATEVER THEY WANT.  You disgust me.

     

    Gee what a wonderful response.  You know I have seen other people ask the same thing that I did and no one called them greedy.  All I was wondering was if people usually buy items off a registry or something not on it.  You don't have to be so hateful.

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  • Thank you so much for your response and understanding that I was not being greedy in asking my question just curious what other people had happen at their showers.
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  • Sweetie, I don't know what to tell you.  Getting a lot of clothes at a shower is just how it happens and yes it happens to all of us.  You simply can't dictate what people get you.   A registry is a  handy tool for those guests who want to be sure they are getting something you want or need and that their gift won't be wasted.  For others, well there isn't much you can do without making them feel awkward or uncomfortable. 

     Showers are like any  other gift giving event.  Just like I can't go up to my Aunt Julie at Christmastime and say " Oh by the way, I want this for a gift " you also can't do that for a shower.  Again, a registry is a handy tool for those individuals who want to surprise you with something you specifically want/ need.  For people who are still generously  going to get you whatever they desire, well you just need to accept it and let it go. 

    If you get too many clothes you can always donate them to Goodwill or a shelter.  I am sure they would  be ecstatic to have them. 

  • image carolinehwrd:
    Thank you so much for your response and understanding that I was not being greedy in asking my question just curious what other people had happen at their showers.

    Honestly, I think this depends on your particular family and friends.  My family buys what they want.  They don't ask for registry info and don't worry about trying to get to specific stores to shop for a shower.  I know this and don't expect any different.  My friends generally do something off the registry and then something small that they just wanted to give because it was cute (outfit or something).  You should know your friends and family by now.  The same person who purchased you some random bright orange placemats for your wedding are not likely to pour over your registry just because you have a baby.  You will get some things you need, but really you should be prepared to get much of the necessities on your own.  There is just not much fun in purchasing lansinoh nipple cream for most people.   

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  • image cookiemdough:

    image carolinehwrd:
    Thank you so much for your response and understanding that I was not being greedy in asking my question just curious what other people had happen at their showers.

    Honestly, I think this depends on your particular family and friends.  My family buys what they want.  They don't ask for registry info and don't worry about trying to get to specific stores to shop for a shower.  I know this and don't expect any different.  My friends generally do something off the registry and then something small that they just wanted to give because it was cute (outfit or something).  You should know your friends and family by now.  The same person who purchased you some random bright orange placemats for your wedding are not likely to pour over your registry just because you have a baby.  You will get some things you need, but really you should be prepared to get much of the necessities on your own.  There is just not much fun in purchasing lansinoh nipple cream for most people.   

    HAHA... I didn't even put nipple cream or anyting to do with my nipple or breast on our registry. I thought that was to personal and I didn't want people buying that kind of stuff or even really seeing that I need it for that matter.

     

    I am fine if people don't get the exact item that is on our registry that doesn't bother me. I know that most people in my group already know what we will need for a baby and will get those items.  I guess I was more curious to know since we are having a boy if people got alot of clothing at their showers.  Because I can see that happening at a shower for a baby girl more so than a baby boy...seeing as in my own search for clothing for boys it is very limited and the same thing over and over.

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  • thebokitheboki member

    image cwm11985:
    oh hey there, GREEDY.  People tend to shop close to the shower, not way ahead of time AND they can buy you WHATEVER THEY WANT.  You disgust me.

    Wow, that was seriously uncalled for.  Please look into some anger management.

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  • thebokitheboki member

    image carolinehwrd:
    Thank you so much for your response and understanding that I was not being greedy in asking my question just curious what other people had happen at their showers.

    I know how frustrating it can be when you really, really need stuff.  But you just have to remember that any gift is, well, a gift.  And you may get something so cool that  you never even thought about.  Plus, lots of people buy really late. often on the way to the shower!  And women love to buy cute baby clothes.  You will get a ton of that.  And you're gonna love them!  Just use your completion discount to get the rest of the stuff you need and try not to worry about it. 

    Also, returning stuff is really not a big deal.  I only have a few things to return, but my friends bought them very generously, and I will still be able to exchange them for something we need so it's all good.   :-)

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  • image theboki:

    image cwm11985:
    oh hey there, GREEDY.  People tend to shop close to the shower, not way ahead of time AND they can buy you WHATEVER THEY WANT.  You disgust me.

    Wow, that was seriously uncalled for.  Please look into some anger management.

    Thanks for sticking up for me I called my husband when this person posted and was almost in tears because of what she said. 

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  • image carolinehwrd:
    image cookiemdough:

    image carolinehwrd:
    Thank you so much for your response and understanding that I was not being greedy in asking my question just curious what other people had happen at their showers.

    Honestly, I think this depends on your particular family and friends.  My family buys what they want.  They don't ask for registry info and don't worry about trying to get to specific stores to shop for a shower.  I know this and don't expect any different.  My friends generally do something off the registry and then something small that they just wanted to give because it was cute (outfit or something).  You should know your friends and family by now.  The same person who purchased you some random bright orange placemats for your wedding are not likely to pour over your registry just because you have a baby.  You will get some things you need, but really you should be prepared to get much of the necessities on your own.  There is just not much fun in purchasing lansinoh nipple cream for most people.   

    HAHA... I didn't even put nipple cream or anyting to do with my nipple or breast on our registry. I thought that was to personal and I didn't want people buying that kind of stuff or even really seeing that I need it for that matter.

     

    I am fine if people don't get the exact item that is on our registry that doesn't bother me. I know that most people in my group already know what we will need for a baby and will get those items.  I guess I was more curious to know since we are having a boy if people got alot of clothing at their showers.  Because I can see that happening at a shower for a baby girl more so than a baby boy...seeing as in my own search for clothing for boys it is very limited and the same thing over and over.

    lol, the nipple cream was a joke.  But in general the point is that it has nothing to do with whether they can find cute stuff or not and everything to do with if they are the kind of people who will go to the specific stores YOU designated, print out a registry and wander through the aisles trying to find it because they want to give you something you specifically asked for. Or if they are the type of person who will go to the nearest store and by what they want.  

    I had a boy and had a mix.  I find new moms or friends tend to better relate to the amount of stuff you need and tend to buy from the registry.  I find old people or really young people (teens, etc.) are not likely to go through the trouble.  This is just in my circle of friends and family though.  

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  • image carolinehwrd:
    image theboki:

    image cwm11985:
    oh hey there, GREEDY.  People tend to shop close to the shower, not way ahead of time AND they can buy you WHATEVER THEY WANT.  You disgust me.

    Wow, that was seriously uncalled for.  Please look into some anger management.

    Thanks for sticking up for me I called my husband when this person posted and was almost in tears because of what she said. 

    I think you need to be calling a therapist instead of your husband. 

    image
  • OP, please re-read your title post.  Can you really not see how you are coming across as a bit Veruca Saltish ?  You are irritated that people aren't falling over themselves to get you a gift for an event that is two weeks away ?  You are upset because even though your guests are taking time out of their day to come and honor you, visit with you, buy, wrap and then give you a gift ;  you are more worried that you might get too many clothes ?

    Can you truly not see why some people are giving you the side eye here ?

  • image Scout2005:
    image carolinehwrd:
    image theboki:

    image cwm11985:
    oh hey there, GREEDY.  People tend to shop close to the shower, not way ahead of time AND they can buy you WHATEVER THEY WANT.  You disgust me.

    Wow, that was seriously uncalled for.  Please look into some anger management.

    Thanks for sticking up for me I called my husband when this person posted and was almost in tears because of what she said. 

    Hmm

    You called your husband because a stranger on an Internet message board said something rude to you? Really?

    In all seriousness, if you are going to be "in tears" because of a post on here, you need to step back from the site. That is ridiculous. 

    I actually I called my husband because I was explaining to him what other peoples opinions were on here because he was wondering the same thing that I was about showers.

    I wasn't in tears... I was almost in tears.. and excuse me for being a tiny bit emotional when someone says that I disgust them and am greedy.  That is not at all how I intended for my origianl post to come across.

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  • image stw_77:

    OP, please re-read your title post.  Can you really not see how you are coming across as a bit Veruca Saltish ?  You are irritated that people aren't falling over themselves to get you a gift for an event that is two weeks away ?  You are upset because even though your guests are taking time out of their day to come and honor you, visit with you, buy, wrap and then give you a gift ;  you are more worried that you might get too many clothes ?

    Can you truly not see why some people are giving you the side eye here ?

    I do understand how it ended up coming across.  However, that was not how I intended it to come across.  I suppose I am just a little bit stressed and worried. We are trying to close on a house that has been taking forever and trying to get all the stuff that we need for our baby and I feel like I am running out of time.  I suppose that ios truely were my irritation is coming from.

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  • Just relax, surely more will be bought but sometimes you just have to be patient. In my experience, I made a registry and only 1 thing was bought from it. Even after everyone asked what I needed and I referred them to my registry. Thankfully we were prepared to just get clothes and blankets. Its a little annoying, but you just have to be thankful for what you DO get.
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  • I had 2 registries. By the morning of my shower 95% of the items had been bought. But I can say that a bunch of things were bought from my registry but did not appear as "bought" on the online list. 

    I did do some returns after my shower- mostly for clothes and books. It was fairly pain free since every gift came with a gift receipt.  

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  • I don't know if you only got things off the wedding registry but I would assume it's the same thing. We got tons of things we didn't need at the wedding that were not on the registry (i.e an iced tea maker when we had one, a coffee maker when we had one, an awful china christmas platter, tupperware, cookbooks) and a lot of the stuff we couldn't take back. I would assume it's the same with a baby registry. People will give you whatever they want or think is cute, you just have to be polite and gracious. The next day you can try to take it all back for gift cards which you will eventually use. I don't think you are being greedy; I had the same frustration at the wedding when we got some of these things that we seriously did not need and we are living in a tiny apartment with no space for all this. But with any type of gift-giving, you are going to get things you don't want. 
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  • kacellekacelle
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
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    image carolinehwrd:

    I don't want people to start thinking that I am a spoiled brat by my post.  I will be polite and grateful for whatever someone gives us at the shower. However, we already have two different groups of people that have given us boxes of good clothing that their babies can not wear any longer. I really don't feel like we need anymore clothing at this point.  I guess I am just worried that we are going to have to go out and buy a ton of stuff ourselves because people are going to get us what they want to rather than what we have scanned and need.

    While I am kinda on topic of returning items...does anyone know how easy it is to return stuff to babies r us and target that you get from a baby shower?

    But see, we already think you're a spoiled brat.  People have absolutely no obligation to buy you a gift at all, much less a specific item you registered for.  It is entirely on you to provide what you need for your baby.  When friends and family members help, that's fantastic and should be greatly appreciated, but you shouldn't be expecting it at all.  

    We got almost everything off our registry (mostly smaller items since we bought big items ourselves) at my shower and almost no one bought clothes/diapers.  Most of the gifts were purchased the day before or the day of my shower. 

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  • image carolinehwrd:
    image theboki:

    image cwm11985:
    oh hey there, GREEDY.  People tend to shop close to the shower, not way ahead of time AND they can buy you WHATEVER THEY WANT.  You disgust me.

    Wow, that was seriously uncalled for.  Please look into some anger management.

    Thanks for sticking up for me I called my husband when this person posted and was almost in tears because of what she said. 

    I'm thinking this might not be the place for you. 

    ETA - Holy tickers, Batman!  Do you really need 3 that all say you are 30 weeks and 3 days with only 67 days to go?  Pick one and go with it. 

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  • 1) Way too early to stalk the registry. Most people that purchase off the registry wait until the final few days before the shower to buy.

    2) A registry is not and should never be a must. Some people hate buying off registries. Some of your guests that have children will purchase things that their babies loved.

    3) Chill out

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  • You come across very ungrateful, greedy and controlling. People will buy you what they want (out of the goodness of their hearts) and yeah, it's your job to buy the rest. That's being a parent, sorry! Be grateful you are getting a shower, some people don't.


  • It's really no big deal to return stuff.  People usually include a receipt and you can google an item and see which department stores carry them in your area to return something without a receipt.  We returned a lot of items and bought bigger items with the money or store credit.  It's not a hassle at all. 
    image. image. image.
  • Most people don't buy gifts until the week before/ week of/or even the day of the shower.

    I've hosted a lot of showers and it really depends on your set of friends and family as to whether they buy off the registry or not.  My family does not - for the most part.  My friends do.  I've had some MTB's that I've hosted showers for only get a couple of things off their registries.

    If you didn't want a ton of clothes then it would have better not to announce the gender of your baby.  People LOVE to buy clothes and they will most likely be the smallest sizes (newborn or maybe 3 months). 

    Some people will look at your registry and purchase the very same thing at a less expensive store.  Target carries a lot of the same things that BRU and BBB does but is a few dollars less.

    If your shower is in 2 weeks you will have a lot of time to return items.  When you have to purchase your own stuff your "needs" will become important and you'll realize that many of those needs were really wants.

  • Well now I feel bad. The last time a friend had a baby, I bought some clothes I thought were cute. I don't even know if she registered anywhere because I didn't ask; I already had some adorable outfits in mind. And I fully expected her to keep them. She had him dressed in one of the outfits when we came to meet him; I thought that was so sweet!
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  • Hey, to answer your question about returning stuff-I got a ton of stuff from Target that didn't show up as even purchased off my registry and was in duplicates. I also got some stuff from Target that I did not register for. I went through it all and returned the duplicates/stuff I didn't need. At target, make sure you print out your "purchase log" -it will show everything associated with your registry that was purchased, even stuff not on your registry if the person who purchased it had the cashier scan the registry. Target will only allow you to return up to $70 PER YEAR (yikes) of items that you don't have receipts, gift receipts, or was on your purchase log. I returned about $68 worth of stuff that was on my registry but folks didn't have the cashier scan the registry. So now I'm done for the year. I got something else the other day I didn't need and I have to make my husband return that.

     I really appreciated everything everyone bought me-but frankly it was great to get the store credit and buy other stuff I needed for the nursery. I wrote really nice thank you notes (and it helps that I don't live close to the family/friends that were at the shower). 

     I also want to comment that not finding out what you are having is a great way to cut down on the amount of clothes you get. Also, my friends who are pregnant or are moms were much more likely to get me things off the registry or practical items. I have four close friends having babies around the same time and I'd much rather give them something they need to help them out. Yes, I understand I have an obligation to purchase supplies for my own baby, but it was wonderful to get practical stuff along with the clothes, books, and toys. I am incredibly grateful to my friends and family. 

  • CranangCranang
    2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
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    An apostrophe "s" indicates possession.  REGISTRIES is the plural of registry.  *sigh*

    And yeah, you really come off as greedy and spoiled sounding.  If that was your attempt at NOT sounding like that, you need to seriously spend some time learning to write concisely.

    And tears?  Really.  I had a lady call my daughter a "fugly piece of sh*t" and I laughed.  It's the internet. 

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  • image carolinehwrd:
    image theboki:

    image cwm11985:
    oh hey there, GREEDY.  People tend to shop close to the shower, not way ahead of time AND they can buy you WHATEVER THEY WANT.  You disgust me.

    Wow, that was seriously uncalled for.  Please look into some anger management.

    Thanks for sticking up for me I called my husband when this person posted and was almost in tears because of what she said. 

     

    Does your butt hurt with those panties in such a tight bunch? Seriously.  You are acting beyond greedy... you have TWO weeks until your shower and you are complaining about what people will get you.  News flash homegirl: your child will need clothes, and lots of them (are you aware that babies throw up, poo, and pee on everything?)

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  • The truth about baby registry's what? I'm lost.

    If everyone knows you are having a girl, trust me, you aren't getting much more than a shitton of pink clothes.

    HTH. 

  • image Cranang:

    An apostrophe "s" indicates possession.  REGISTRIES is the plural of registry.  *sigh*

    And yeah, you really come off as greedy and spoiled sounding.  If that was your attempt at NOT sounding like that, you need to seriously spend some time learning to write concisely.

    And tears?  Really.  I had a lady call my daughter a "fugly piece of sh*t" and I laughed.  It's the internet. 

    Who the hell did that?

    Because your baby is one of the cutest I have ever seen on this site! 

  • CranangCranang
    2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    member
    image PunkyBooster:
    image Cranang:

    An apostrophe "s" indicates possession.  REGISTRIES is the plural of registry.  *sigh*

    And yeah, you really come off as greedy and spoiled sounding.  If that was your attempt at NOT sounding like that, you need to seriously spend some time learning to write concisely.

    And tears?  Really.  I had a lady call my daughter a "fugly piece of sh*t" and I laughed.  It's the internet. 

    Who the hell did that?

    Because your baby is one of the cutest I have ever seen on this site! 

    LOL.  Thank you!  It was a PM from some random chick named Greyeyes15.  I couldn't even find a post of hers where I'd posted.  I don't mind getting hate mail, as long as I know what I said that got to them.  But she's a huge twatwaffle (thank you Ballsox!)...there was some thread where she was trying to defend the use of "retarded."  And we all know how that ends...

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