Parenting

How to help my 5 year old adjust?

I've recently realized this will be a big year for my 5 year old. He'll be getting a new sibling in November, his little brother will be moving into his room so the new baby will get little brothers room and 5 year old will be starting school this year. Since he never went to pre-school I'm a bit worried that this will all be a bit overwhelming for him and I'd like to figure out the best way to help him handle these changes. I can't do anything about the due date or the school date, but I can fix when little brother will join him in his bed room. Any suggestions on when to start this change? Should I do it before the baby so I don't have to worry about this transition and a newborn as well? Or should I wait since the new baby won't even be sleeping in the crib until he/she's at least a couple months old?

BabyFruit Ticker

Re: How to help my 5 year old adjust?

  • I'd move the kids in together now.  They'll have the summer to figure out how to sleep and share the room. 

    Has he gone to a daycare away from you before or has he always been at home with you?  If he has gone to daycare, I wouldn't worry about the K transition much.  If he hasn't, can you look into some day camps this summer so he can spend a whole week away from you?  I think that will be the hardest part of any of the transitions if he hasn't been away from you on a school-type schedule, but kids are resilient and often will surprise you.  If he's ready for K, he might just do great and you won't have to worry. 

    Two boys already - ages 5 and 3...

    ...baby #3 is here...

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • ZenyaZenya member
    is he in daycare? or he has literally never been in any structured thing away from you?
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  • No, he's never been to daycare. I've been fortunate enough to have my sister available to watch the boys while I'm at work. But he's always been leary of big group situations and tends to cling in the beginning so I know that school is going to be a BIG adjustment for him.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    I would move the kids into the same room sooner rather than later and at least 3 months before the baby arrives.  I am using the same concept of when we moved our kids out of the nursery/crib when their new sibling came around.  You don't want the kids to think that they now have to share a room because of the baby - it might feel like a negative towards the new sibling.  Make it fun for them, make it all about them.  Not sure if you are redorating or getting new beds or anything but whatever you do, include the boys in the decisions (or at least let them feel like they are part of it ).  Make it all very exciting and stress that they are such big boys now that they get to sleep in the same room and stuff like that.  As far as school, does your school do any programs for the kindergarteners?  My DD will be starting in the fall as well and our school had Kindergarten Round-Up and the kids went off with the teachers for a bus ride and to do some projects in the classroom.  Next week we have a program one evening called Kindergarten Bridge which again gives the kids time in the classroom with no parents.  They get to see the room, hang out with the teachers and kids they will be with in the fall.  We have a play ground night 2 weeks before school starts - no teachers but it will be the whole kindergarten class (or whoever can attend, I have heard in the past that a lot of people come) and then their is an open house one night the week before where the kids find out their teacher and again, have time in the classroom.  The day before kindergarten starts (the day 1-12 starts) the kindergarteners come to school for a short time and hang out in the room with a parent there as a last way to help them feel comfy.  I would try to arrange playdates with anyone else you know who will be starting with your son and call the school to see what programs they have for the new kids.  I would also try to have your child take classes that you are not part of so he gets used to being in a group setting without you.  Also, find out the daily schedule and towards the end of summer, start working your day around that schedule as far as lunch time and things like that - wake up at the time he will need to wake up for school, etc.  Let him help pick out his school supplies and back pack, etc
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • ZenyaZenya member
    Is it full day?  I would definitely work on that this summer with camps etc.I would not put a shy kid who has never been apart from you in a settling like that straight into K!
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  • We're not redecorating the room, but we've got a trundle bed so they'll both have their own. I think it'll be better if we start sooner as well.

    I really like the sound of those school programs you mentioned. We're actually trying to get our 5 year old into the school of choice program and haven't heard if he's been accepted yet, but I'll definitely ask about any pre school-year programs they have available.

    This was really informative, thank you. :)

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I would put them together now. And, I would look into some camps for DS over the summer.  Do you do any structured activities with him, like story time, gymnastics, etc?  You might want to consider that for the spring too.
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • I just wanted to say that I remember you from another board, a long time ago!  Maybe Your New Home?  I also wanted to agree with pp - a summer camp would be a good choice to get your DS's feet wet in regards to socialization.
    Noah (12~28~06) and Eli (8~5~10)

    image

  • imageKellyGreen:
    I just wanted to say that I remember you from another board, a long time ago!  Maybe Your New Home?  I also wanted to agree with pp - a summer camp would be a good choice to get your DS's feet wet in regards to socialization.

     

    Hi Kelly, that's entirely possible. I've lurked around the bump and the nest for years though I don't have a ton of posts to show for it :)

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Thanks for all the advice ladies. We'll definitely move little bro into his big boy room sooner rather than later. Big bro is already excited for school, but still, he's never been in that kind of situation and I worry. I'll also be checking into some of those programs mentioned. Thanks again!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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