Doctor refuses to have a birthplan?
Okay so I am really thinking about changing doctors, even this late in the game.
First, he informed me that he induces rather than waits for birth to happen naturally because he only delivers on Wednesdays. he JUST told me this last week. I am going to talk to him at my appointment on Monday and tell him that I absolutely refuse to be induced unless it is medically needed.
Second, I asked him when we were supposed to sit down and figure out a birth plan. I have a lot of things I want. I want to go natural. I want to hold him immediately after. I do NOT want him to be given a bottle or formula. I do NOT want to use a pacifier. I want my husband to cut the cord. Etc. According to my doctor though, he "doesn't do a birthing plan". How does the nursing staff know all of this without a birthing plan?I am going to print out the one on the bump, and answer all the questions and take that to my appointment Monday and see what he says. I plan to also take it with me at time of delivery, but I'd like my desires documented.
What do you think and what would you do? Would you change doctors?
Re: Doctor refuses to have a birthplan?
That is a tough situation to be in. Let me start by givin you my opinion on the induction thing. Some doctors/Most doctors will NOT let you go past 42 weeks, i think it is cuz of the placenta but not 100% sure. I also want to let you know that the only birth plan that i had with my OB when i was pregnant with DS1 was that i wanted to breast feed, and didnt want them to give him a bottle, i was stil unsure of weather i was going to do it med free or not i just wanted to maketaht decision when i was in labor cuz you never know what is goin to happen in the delivery room.
Now about him not talking to you about the whole birthing plan i do think you need to express to him what you want and tell him if he is not willing to work with you on what you wnat then you have every intention of finding a new doctor. I hope that i helped alil. I am so sorry you are going through this so late in the game.
This
Based on the first part I would leave
On the 2nd: I never had a written brith plan.
When we register / or shortly after DS was born ( i cant remember) we were asked if we were BF or FF. Then they put that on his chart. And if you want no pacis- then they put a thing/ a sticker or something in or on the bassenit that says "no paci" However with circ boys sometime they do use a paci during the procedure.
When I went into labor and I was admitted they one of the first things the nurses asked was "do you want pain meds/ if so what? (epi or just the thing in the iv)"
I would find out about hospital policies as well: my hospital puts baby on our after the delivery for a few minutes: then took him to finish cleaning him up and make sure he was ok. It took longer for me to be ready to hold him than it did for the staff to have him ready (I had a lot of stitches, and some bleeding issues) And then if everyone is OK they want mom to have 2 hours of cuddle time before visitors.
I would take a hospital tour and ask a lot of questions. Then you can decided if you really need a written plan. And it may help calm you.
Thank you. This helped me a lot. I guess I just have so many ideas of what I want, and I am very controlling, I'll admit that. So I just wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page at the hospital. I am 32 weeks now and I am taking the tour this weekend and filling out the preregistration forms and everything. Definitely plan on asking lots of questions! I'm a FTM so all of this is so new to me, I am sure with my second I will probably be a lot calmer and not so worked up over every little thing haha.
And as far as the first point goes, I am giving him a chance on Monday at my appointment, not that he deserves it. I am going to tell him that unless I need it he will not be inducing me. Honestly he can't force an induction, so the way I see it, he doesn't have a choice but to agree with my decision. That being said, if he even hints at pressuring me, I will walk out of the office right then and there. Like I said, I've got control issues, and the last thing I'll stand for is being pressured. So he has his chance to make it right, and if not, I walk.
I don't know what to say about the induction thing, because even if he induces everybody at say 39 weeks, he'd still have women giving birth naturally before then. So maybe he meant, if he has to induce, he will only do it on Wednesdays?
About your birth plan, most your requirements appear to be things that deal with the nurses in the hospital, not necessarily the doctor. THe doctor won't be around for feeding, using a pacifier, etc so when you get to the hospital I would discuss those things with the nurses. At my hospital those are all common requests they told me to make when I arrived and the nurses will honor those wishes.
Also if you want to go natural, ask about what is avaiable.
although I perfer pain meds, my hospital is open to both natural and pain meds. They have bathtubs in all the room (but ask when they will refuse to let you use it- such as if you water breaks), can you walk around, do they have balls, the positions of the bed (do they have squat bars...) If you want to go natural the only time my hospital will make you stay in bed, is there is a concern for LO and need constant monitoring, or if LO isnt responding well to a certain position. (DS's heart would go down if I laid on my left, so I could ony lay on the my right)
Also ask about hospital policies on food during labor - some hospital are ok with light foods, other hospital only ice chips. There is no point about putting in that you want to eat if your hospital policy is against it.
Write up simple birth preferences and go over them with your labor and delivery nurse and again with the nursery nurse. Very little will be a concern of your doctor. Ask about your wishes at your tour. You may find that many of them are standard practice. I've cut mine in more than half from my last time because so much of it was standard hospital policy!
As for the doctor, just flat out refuse it. If he insists and schedules it himself call the hospital and tell them you won't be coming in. He can't drag you there!
With regard to the induction thing, I think it is a good idea that you talk with him more about his policy and find out what he actually meant by that, but I would be hesitant to stay with this doctor even if he agrees that he won't push you into an induction without a "medical reason."
This is my third baby and I've had basically every intervention known to birth (induction with vaginal birth and a cs) and am now planning a hopefully intervention free (or slight) VBAC with a new doc and, while I know this is going to sound cynical and I'll probably get all sorts of flames for this, I think a lot of doctors are very good at finding "medical reasons" to convince moms to submit to inductions or other interventions if that is what the doctor truly wants.
They will scare you with all sorts of things - like that you are having a gigantic baby that can't possibly fit through your pelvis. Or they will set a time limit, like 40 weeks or 41 weeks, which are really arbitrary numbers. If he really wants this done his way he will likely find a way to convince you as you obviously aren't going to go against his recommendations if he makes it sound like you are endangering your baby by disregarding him - even if the risk he is concerned with is slight or even less than the risks of simply waiting it out or whatever it is that you want to do.
Like I said, I know I sound cynical and I probably am, but that is because I've had it happen to me and I've heard of it happening to too many other women. Good luck with your decision!
I would leave for this reason. That is crazy you are just being informed of that! I am not sure how far along you are but sometimes it is harder to find a new OBGYN later in pregnancy but I would still try ASAP! GL!
I have to admit, this is the first time I've ever looked at the bump birth plan. Even though it is checking boxes, 6 pages seems crazy long to me. Mine is a page and a half. I'd go through it and just create your own document with the items and options you choose.
Whatever you have, print it out and bring several copies.
Simply because of this statement, I would switch doctors. No questions asked. I would never even speak to him again. What's the point?
I'd start looking for NB friendly docs immediately.
And this too!
This! I would leave, running as fast as I could away from someone like this.
Polyp removed/hypothyriod 6/2011
7/2011 IUI#1 w/ 150 Follistim/Ovidrel trigger BFN
8/2011 IUI#2 w/225 Follistim/Ovidrel trigger BFN
10/2011 IUI#3 w/300 Follistim/Ovidrel trigger (BFP)
beta #1: 195 beta#2: 502
7/2013 Back to RE because my uterus is OLD
Birthing plans are completely pointless.
Just let your DH be aware of your do's and don'ts -- He will be your voice for you.
Why in the heck does the doctor need to know that you don't want to use a paci? This sounds like useless information for the doctor, he needs to worry about medical things -- Like getting your baby out safely. The hospital doesn't give the baby one of these unless you provide one. Honestly, you seem quite neurotic about this. Just go with the flow, you can't plan a birth, everyone is different.