NBR: Matron of Honor in friend's wedding — The Bump
December 2012 Moms

NBR: Matron of Honor in friend's wedding

In the midst of being pregnant, I'm also MOH in my friend's wedding in Washington, DC in June. My dress hasn't come in yet - but I'm praying to God that it will fit. I did order it a little bigger so it should be ok (hopefully).

Well you all know what comes along with being MOH - planning the bridal shower and bachelorette. I'm in pure hell as I'm dealing with others in the bridal party who either can't or won't (it doesn't even matter) contribute to any of the festivities. So, me & the maid of honor have had to drastically cut things down so that it's somewhat affordable. There are 7 in the wedding party - only 5 are contributing. Me & the MOH are taking on the bulk of the cost. We're each paying $350 a piece - YIKES for just the bridal shower alone. We're working on the plans for the bachelorette party.

This is all just insane. I'm just venting right now. I can't even talk to DH about this because he won't understand.

I have one more friend who is single and she may/ may not ask me to be in her wedding. I really really don't want to be in another person's wedding. 

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Re: NBR: Matron of Honor in friend's wedding

  • Yeah, I couldn't handle wedding stuff on top of everything else right now.  I am so sorry you are going through this.

     

    BUT- you will be in my city in June.  Yay!!

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  • I was just matron of honor for my sister last weekend.  It was tough bc I wasn't feeling well but I was glad to have done it this early in my pregnancy.  With the stress of being several months pregnant and the financial concerns that come with it I can't even imagine all that happening then. 

    But whenever I felt super stressed I just reminded myself of everything she did for me as my maid of honor and that it was all about her and her big day and it helped me get through.  :)

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  • Can you get anyone to help like MOB? I know that the bridesmaids usually throw the shower but can you explain the situation? She may help to ensure that her daughter has a nice shower.
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  • Can the other two maybe do some of the legwork, ie setting up, tearing down, planning, etc?  If they can't or won't help financially, maybe they would be willing to do some of the other duties?

    Maybe you could convince them that they should take on the bachelorette party, esp. if there will be alcohol involved, so you don't end up just a d/d?

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  • I was so happy when my BF got married because she didn't have a wedding party. I did the same thing. We agreed to spare each other. Thank god most of my friends are married. :) I'm sorry, it's frustrating to be responsible for all that. I can't imagine, but the pps above me was right. I hope you are able to delegate both some of the financial and planning responsibilities.
    Daffney DH Frank 02/06/2010 DS Austin 08/08/2001 DS Matthew 07/16/09 Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Maternity tickers Notes:
  • Unless you're the sister of mother of the bride, why would you have to pay the cost of the shower? I don't get it? I have been in plenty of bridal parties, organized several bridal showers, and gone to plenty of them. I didn't have to take care of the shower myself. MOB took care of the cost, I just planned/help plan  it. 

     

    For my sister's shower on the other hand, my mom took care of the bulk and I only paid for the cake, lingerie, and centerpeices.

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  • I didn't have to contribute for the shower but I totally feel your pain with the bachelorette party. There were 6 of us in the bridal party and it was all on me and one other girl financially. And neither of us were the maid of honor. I couldn't believe her own sisters offered no money! It sucks, just wanted to say I understand. I hope the bride is flexible on her bach party so that its manageable for you guys!
    imageimageimage
  • Thanks everyone for your suggestions - and for listening ( reading) my vent!!!!!
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  • image Eamonmomma:

    Can the other two maybe do some of the legwork, ie setting up, tearing down, planning, etc?  If they can't or won't help financially, maybe they would be willing to do some of the other duties?

    Maybe you could convince them that they should take on the bachelorette party, esp. if there will be alcohol involved, so you don't end up just a d/d?

    Great ideas! 

    Jude Wayne - Born 4/23/10 Violet Patricia - Born 12/5/12 Breastfeeding, baby-wearing work-at-home mom of 2 living in Rockville, MD
  • My DH and I always say being in weddings is over-rated. An honor, yes, but so spendy! I'm sorry u have to deal with this! 
  • image Nikjones08:

    In the midst of being pregnant, I'm also MOH in my friend's wedding in Washington, DC in June. My dress hasn't come in yet - but I'm praying to God that it will fit. I did order it a little bigger so it should be ok (hopefully).

    Well you all know what comes along with being MOH - planning the bridal shower and bachelorette. I'm in pure hell as I'm dealing with others in the bridal party who either can't or won't (it doesn't even matter) contribute to any of the festivities. So, me & the maid of honor have had to drastically cut things down so that it's somewhat affordable. There are 7 in the wedding party - only 5 are contributing. Me & the MOH are taking on the bulk of the cost. We're each paying $350 a piece - YIKES for just the bridal shower alone. We're working on the plans for the bachelorette party.

    This is all just insane. I'm just venting right now. I can't even talk to DH about this because he won't understand.

    I have one more friend who is single and she may/ may not ask me to be in her wedding. I really really don't want to be in another person's wedding. 

    Oh wow! Being in a wedding can be soooooo expensive and so much drama!!!! $350 is a crazy amount of money to pay for a shower, especially since you're not related to the bride! I threw my cousins shower last summer with my mom and we both spent $150 each. My mom had it at her house and we had all the family and the bridal party bring food.

    I think its unfair that only 5 of the 7 bridesmaids are chipping in. Not everyone is going to be in the same financial situation so I do understand if someone doesnt have a lot of money to contribute, but to those that just simply wont because they dont want to...is SO UNFAIR to everyone else!!

    Ugh I feel for you!! Wish you the best of luck!

    image

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