First trip w/o LO.
DoctorWorm222
member
I'm supposed to be calling my dad to ask which weekend would be best for him and my stepmom to watch LO while DH and I travel to Boston. As you can see, I'm writing this post instead of calling. I don't want to leave E for the whole weekend! Its only in the last week that I've mustered up the nerve to let her sleep in her own room. Now DH wants me to go half way across the country without her !!!!
We're going to visit Boston b/c DH has been offered a job there. The company is flying both of us out to look at housing, see the city, etc. The company made him a great offer - the highest salary we've ever seen for someone straight out of grad school with no postdoc - but I'm terrified to move away with a 6mo old to a place where we don't have any family or friends. I can't imagine how difficult it will be to have no backup - especially when we'd both be starting new jobs.
On one hand, it could be a nice adventure to spend a few years in the north east since we've never left the midwest. On the other hand, I'm scared $hitless.
Re: First trip w/o LO.
It sounds exciting! I would go for it, I'd love to have that kind of an opportunity.
Truth be told MH & I live in the same town we both grew up in, right around the corner from his parents... we'll probably never leave, which is depressing in a way.
Married 08/18/07
BFP 02/15/11 EDD 10/27/11 Born at 35w3d on 09/25/11
BFP 10/13/12 EDD 06/25/13 Born at 37w0d on 06/04/13
BFP 12/11/15 EDD 08/23/16 Early miscarriage
BFP 02/02/16 EDD 10/16/16
I would love to live in Boston but that is beside the point. I would have a very hard time leaving DS which is why he is going to the conference with me in June. However, you would be leaving your LO with your Dad and Stepmom, and it is only a couple of days, so i am sure everything would be fine. It would also give you a chance to have a bit of a break and spend some quality time with YH. The parts of Boston I have been to are absolutely lovely and it would give you both a chance to eat some delicious food and have a few Sam Adam's.
As for moving away from your family, that would be quite hard. DH and I have absolutely no back up for DS because my brother's family is 1.5 hours away and my parents are 2.5 hours away. DS is in daycare all day and if he gets sick then one of us has to either stay home or he comes to Mommy's office all day. It is difficult, and sometimes I wish I did have back up daycare, but the reality is that I would want to spend the day with him anyway if he was too sick for daycare.
Another thing to consider is that you would meet a lot of new people, and many of the people in our profession have spouses that stay at home, and have kids around the same age. This will present you with potential backup plus a lot of social opportunities.
Whatever you both decide, I wish you the best and hope that all goes well. In the meantime, hang in there Mama and go have a great weekend while you are in Boston!
It sounds like a good opportunity to check out. Boston is an incredibly expensive city and old infrastructure though so before you make any final decisions see how far your wages would go.
DH insists that we will be too busy to have her with us. We have a lot of ground to cover while we're there - interviews for him, looking at potential neighborhoods, perhaps even interviews for me (if I can swing something on short notice).
I should feel ok about leaving her with my parents (they kept me alive, right?), but I don't. Sometimes (for instance when I have to tell my dad the E is too young to taste his pizza) I wonder if I'm an only child because none of the others survived
I guess I just need to put on my big girl panties and do what I have to do.
I would be scared to leave DD for that long too. I'm sure it would be fine but I would be very nervious and probably a wreak too.
But I wanted to tell you that we are 4 hours away from our families which is close enough to visit but far enough that we are on our own with no back up. It's one of the reasons DH is a SAHD right now. But we make it work. The hardest part for us is getting any kind of date night with out LO. So far we have had one of our close neighbors do it one time and all the others have been when my mom was visiting. We really need to find a babysitter that we trust to leave LO with. Anyways I don't think you should let being without back up stop you from a move you would otherwise like to make. It's hard somedays but it's doable too.
That's why we're going for a visit. A salary that seems great by midwestern standards might not allow for a comparable standard of living. Before we would even entertain the offer, I wanted to see what our lives might look like in such an expensive place. I'm not wanting to trade my nice house in St. Louis for something that looks like a dorm room.
Coming from someone who has lived near Boston almost her entire life, I must say it's an awesome city. It's "wicked" expensive, but if you live outside the city (north or south shore in my experince) there are some very affordable (non-ghetto) neighborhoods.
I've also lived in FL, where you can get a 2000sq. ft, 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath house for around $220,000. Although that's impossible to find up here, there are some really nice houses for $300,000.
MH and I moved back to MA because I just couldn't be away from my family.. We didn't have any friends down in FL and DH had just lost his job. So everything was pointing back to MA.
And with that being said, we are currently living in my parents' basement trying to save money for our own house.
But hey, if you do move to the Boston area, you will have a couple of us here if you ever wanted to get together!
Good luck with the trip, and I totally don't blame you at all for not wanting to leave your LO.. I have trouble leaving L for a few hours!
(PS: This post took me over an hour to write because L was/is being super fussy.. so if someone already wrote something similar, I apologize.. I will blame my child haha)