Go home or stay in Japan? — The Bump
Military Families

Go home or stay in Japan?

I'm due Dec 2 but we're supposed to PCS mid January.  If I go back to the states my husband might miss out on the birth of our child.  And I don't know if they'd let me take my shiba inus back with me so I know they won't be left behind in Japan.  I'd stay with my mom but she smokes and has a cat.  But she does live super close to the hospital where she works and where I used to work.

 In all honesty I am not too excited about this pregnancy.  When I went to medical and the nurse showed me the results of the test I broke down.  I can't bring myself to get an abortion either.  My husband is excited he's finally getting a kid and I found out my mom had one before I was born (I'm the oldest).  It's not fair.  The care here has been awesome but I'm really annoyed I'd have to go to another base to give birth.

Our house is too small and I can't get my husband to clean up his crap.  Our other bedroom has all his stuff in it- he's like a kid himself.  I don't trust him to pack up our stuff and make sure the house is clean before he leaves.  He wants to extend here and I don't.  I miss Walmart!

I was trying to finally lose this weight but now I'm going to get even bigger now.  My main worry is how my dogs will react to the baby.  They've never hurt a child before.  The thought of having to give them up brings me to tears.  My one dog has already had 2 owners before she turned 1.

Re: Go home or stay in Japan?

  • If your due on Dec. 2 and not pcsing until mid jan. Why would you have to go back to the states early? Also there is NO reason to get rid of your pets just because you're having a baby.
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  • I'll be the first to say it. I really hope this is MUD. The thought of giving your dog up brings you to tears, but a baby you created with your husband is unwanted? There's no shame in being scared to have a baby, none at all. But, the fact that you are more concerned about your damn dog is concerning to me.
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  • I didn't say it wasn't unwanted.  I've been eating healthier than ever before and take my prenatal vitamin religiously.  This was just unplanned and happened at a tricky time.  I was told by other moms who have had children here the paperwork for the child takes a while so we wouldn't be able to PCS on time.

    As for my "damn dog" I didn't get the pleasure of having pets of any kind when I was growing up.  They're like my kids.  Plus when people PCS out of here they give their pets away because sometimes they can't get them home.  I don't want that to happen to me.  They'll always let a baby on the plane.  I'm just afraid of how the dogs will react to the baby.

  • Okay first off, my husband and I are also stationed in Japan. The paperwork could take awhile, BUT if they know you are getting ready to PCS then they will rush it for you. All that really matters is that your child be put on your husband's orders as soon as possible. 

    As for the dog situation we have a dog. She will be coming back to the states with us, reason people leave their dogs on the island is because a.) they don't want them anymore, or b.) they think it costs too much to move them back. So you should have looked at the cost of bringing pets back before you got them. Since you got them while already in Japan. For us no matter the cost our dog will be returning with us to the States.

    As for your husband acting like a child and having his crap everyone. Tell him to clean it up! Simple as that. If he is happy you are having a baby he should be excited to get ready for this new addition.

    Also as for packing your stuff, that is what the moving company is for. They will pack everything. And for PCS cleaning check out some of the cleaners on facebook groups. They have awesome cleaners and are moderately priced. 

    Good Luck with everything. 

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  • imageAirmans Wife:

    Okay first off, my husband and I are also stationed in Japan. The paperwork could take awhile, BUT if they know you are getting ready to PCS then they will rush it for you. All that really matters is that your child be put on your husband's orders as soon as possible. 

    As for the dog situation we have a dog. She will be coming back to the states with us, reason people leave their dogs on the island is because a.) they don't want them anymore, or b.) they think it costs too much to move them back. So you should have looked at the cost of bringing pets back before you got them. Since you got them while already in Japan. For us no matter the cost our dog will be returning with us to the States.

    As for your husband acting like a child and having his crap everyone. Tell him to clean it up! Simple as that. If he is happy you are having a baby he should be excited to get ready for this new addition.

    Also as for packing your stuff, that is what the moving company is for. They will pack everything. And for PCS cleaning check out some of the cleaners on facebook groups. They have awesome cleaners and are moderately priced. 

    Good Luck with everything. 

    Ditto.

    I'm not sure where you will be delivering in Japan, but I heard it takes a longer time with getting paperwork back if you deliver out in town. But a hospital on base would not slow the process down because it's all part of the American system.

     GL with everything! 

    Gabriel 09-11-2012 No dairy, egg, peanuts, tree nuts
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    DH deployed since July 22
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