NTR: Etiquette question.

MrsDe2008

DH and I have a TON of parties and birthday's these upcoming weeks and had to turn a few down (due to prior engagements). My question is: Do we still have to send gifts to the people whose parties we can't attend? 1 party is of a friends kid who I am no longer close with and basically see once a year and the other is of a friend I grew up with whom I'm not really close with anymore and also see just a few times a year, but I am very close with her MIL and SIL (who is also DH's cousin's...weird I know. Her uncle and my aunt were married for many years, so we grew up together...then she married her husband who we went to HS with, who happens to be a 2nd cousin to my DH...they didn't know it at the time). Anyway, my point is that we aren't really close anymore. What do you do? Do you give gifts even if you don't attend? We have 3 birthdays, a wedding, a baptism, a sweet 16 and we just went to a 60th b-day party. This month is killing us financially!

desertlady86

I wouldn't get them gifts especially if you aren't close. 

missmuffin87

In that situation I wouldn't send gifts.

lrn327

If you're not close, I wouldn't send gifts.  It's a hard decision, but I try to be realistic about who I get gets for.  Obviously if we attend, we take a gift, but otherwise, we only send something if it's a close family member or friend.

MrsDe2008

I feel bad that we aren't giving gifts to the kids whose parties we aren't attending, but we're not super close anymore, so I thought it would be ok. They're not putting out any money for us to attend a party, so it's not like we're coming empty handed. =/

jarebearsmom

lrn327:

If you're not close, I wouldn't send gifts.  It's a hard decision, but I try to be realistic about who I get gets for.  Obviously if we attend, we take a gift, but otherwise, we only send something if it's a close family member or friend.

This you can't buy for everybody 

utlawgirl

If you're not close, I wouldn't send gifts. For a wedding or something, yes, but for a child of people you're not good friends with, no.

Fairy kisses

utlawgirl:

If you're not close, I wouldn't send gifts. For a wedding or something, yes, but for a child of people you're not good friends with, no.

This!  

klinky

How would you get the gift to them?  Assuming you don't send it with MIL, SIL etc.  you would have to make a point to see them just to give them a gift?  Then no.  If it's someone that you see often enough that you could actually give a belated gift then yes.

MrsDe2008

klinky:

How would you get the gift to them?  Assuming you don't send it with MIL, SIL etc.  you would have to make a point to see them just to give them a gift?  Then no.  If it's someone that you see often enough that you could actually give a belated gift then yes.

For the 1st party, I never see them unless we made an effort to see each other (which we don't). The last time I seen her was back in Dec. for DD's 1st b-day, so if I see her once a year, that's a lot. I can't go to her sons communion because we have a wedding that night, so to get a gift to her, I'd have to send it in the mail. As for the second party, we only see them it they are at the same party as us. They live an hour away, so it's not often at all that we get together.

OhSewCrafty

klinky:

How would you get the gift to them?  Assuming you don't send it with MIL, SIL etc.  you would have to make a point to see them just to give them a gift?  Then no.  If it's someone that you see often enough that you could actually give a belated gift then yes.

This is a great line of thinking. If you'd have to make an extra effort to see them to give them the gift, than you don't see them often enough to really be "close."