Opinions on a second shower?
duffmaker
member
My friend was over when I opened up my cousin's shower invite (see previous post) and it got us chatting about second showers... I'm curious on your opinions so here is where I stand,
#1 My first shower was rough, it was technically "hosted" by FI's mother but she was so hands off I had to plan practically everything, track down everyone's addresses, write invites, buy majority of the decorations, decorate the space prior to the shower, and she hid in the kitchen 90% of the time.
#2 I thought a big co-ed family shower would be fun. It wasn't. It sucked. I spent more time running from table to table making sure I talked to everyone enough and diffusing drama then I did relaxing and enjoying my shower. I never even had time to eat! We severed hors d'oeuvres (sp?) and chili, salad, chicken, pasta. We also did zero games, just a name the baby vote board.
#3 We're talking about having another in a couple years, so there would probably be about 2ish years until a 2nd shower (if we do one)
#4 We are going team green with our next... so we won't know if we're having another girl or not. (I know a big thing with second showers is not to do one if your expecting the same sex baby as before)
#5 I would really like a nice completely hands-off shower, with maybe 10-12 close women (immediate family and friends) at max. A time to relax and celebrate. Have some fun games, not serve heavy food just hors d'oeuvres (sp?) and cute little finger food desserts instead of a big cake.... basically how I really wish my first shower had gone. Oh and it would be my mom hosting it, because she had really wanted to do it last time (and I know she would love to have the chance to show up FMIL LOL, how terrible right but it's funny none the less)
#6 I might do a registry (who doesn't love the scanny gun!) but it wouldn't be on the invite. It would be more of a 'if they inquire about one when they RSVP' type thing and it would be small. Some onsies, burpies, bath stuff, medicines etc. (actually maybe I'll just write up a wish list to give to my friend or mom whoever would be handling RSVPs). I'd probably mention to my mom that we could use a nice stroller (maybe a everyone pitch in a little, kind of gift).
-We thought about a meet the baby party, but if all goes as planned we're looking at another fall baby so not really BBQ weather and hosting a party at our apartment does not appeal to me. Plus everyone that matters would come visit us in the hospital anyway. -
Re: Opinions on a second shower?
I'm not sure why any of these = 2nd shower, just cause the first wasn't to your liking. Sounds like your mind is made up to have one, so enjoy. You know, when you are pregnant again.
This. I also noticed in your siggy that you "can't wait to marry your fireman" so I'm guessing there's also going to be a wedding and possibly a bridal shower in between these two bundles of joy.
Either way, a second shower is not really appropriate.
Second showers should not exist.... incredibly tacky in my opinion unless some very certain circumstances are present...
I can't think of a reason for a 3rd shower!!! Is this a real post??
Could not have said it better myself, morethancottoncandy!! <<chuckle>>
Hmmmm.
Just because the first shower wasn't up to par doesn't mean you are entitled to a second shower.
If your mom wants to host one, then she can knock herself out. I don't have an issue with second baby showers as long as they are hosted by someone OTHER than the MTB.
I would side eye any second time mom who registered, but I understand you want the completion discount. I would withold this information unless asked with regard to your shower though.
I think 10-12 closest friends at a second baby shower sounds very nice.
I don't love meet the baby parties. Mom is exhausted, often still learning how to BF, isn't comfortable doing it in front of others just yet, and if you are like me, you go a little crazy with hormones and do not want anyone but you and Dh holding the baby. I seriously got anxiety attacks if anyone else was holding him those early weeks.
This is my thoughts on second showers (in reference to what you wrote):
1. So? You still had a shower. Some women have NO shower at all.
2. Since your host obviously wanted it family co-ed then that is what you got (or maybe you wanted it?). I don't feel it is necessary for the MTB to go around visiting with each and every guest (that is for wedding receptions) because usually it is later in her pregnancy and she really shouldn't even be on her feet that much.
3. Unless it is 10 years later...a 2nd shower is not necessary (especially if it has only been a couple of years!).
4. Doesn't matter what the gender is...no second shower unless there are absolutely extenuating circumstances. We went team green with all of our kids...just had a meet the baby party with all our friends and family after the baby was born.
5. Back to #1. You already had a shower. They are for first time mom's...which you are NOT.
6. Go ahead and do a registry...what could you possibly need anyway since the first baby would only be two years old and you have no idea what gender this one is. I would not tell people about a registry though.
The details you've included regarding your first shower are irrelevant. You don't receive a "do over" because it didn't go exactly according to plan. Besides, if your daughter will only be two when you have your next, you'll need very few items. There's no reason you and your partner can't buy them yourselves.
Also, the fact that you'll be team green next time has nothing to do with anything. When people plan to have more than one child, they should realize there's a strong likelihood that they will eventually have the opposite sex from their first. If your second child is a boy and all items you've previously purchased are pink, it's your duty to either buy gender neutral items or reuse what you have from your daughter. Your friends and family should not have to provide for you because you're ill-prepared.
You are trying very, very hard to justify something you know is rude. It's not working.
That is just RUDE to call someone tacky. I understand you have everything from your first baby but why can't someone have one and say no big gifts just clothing and little things. I think your opinion is just mean!
Sounds like momsarah is trying to justify rude behavior (having a shower for the bun currently in her oven)!
You can think they're mean, but they're just realistic. It IS tacky.
:snort: Just covering her bases in case #2 is more eggs than sausage.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.