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December 2012 Moms
NoeliaV
member
Family visiting for holidays/birth
NoeliaV
member
Is anyone else's family already talking about making plans to visit around your EDD?
As soon as DH told his sister, she was already saying how she was going to switch her travel plans so that she could be with us for when the baby is born. o_O
Not to sound ungrateful, but I'm thinking a little 2-on-1 (i.e.-- me and DH + the munchkin) time will be more appreciated rather than playing host to visitors. I'm surprised that it's already come up...
As soon as DH told his sister, she was already saying how she was going to switch her travel plans so that she could be with us for when the baby is born. o_O
Not to sound ungrateful, but I'm thinking a little 2-on-1 (i.e.-- me and DH + the munchkin) time will be more appreciated rather than playing host to visitors. I'm surprised that it's already come up...
BFP: 12/20/13 EDD: 08/23/14 (discovered m/c at 8w5d)
BFP: 09/22/14 EDD: 06/06/15 (hoping for our rainbow)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Family visiting for holidays/birth
Well, this hasn't come up yet - but I'm sure it will be coming up soon. This will be the first grandchild - so I'm pretty sure they will want to visit and of course my parents will.
I totally understand your point about playing host though.
This.
We live nearby my ILs, and when DD was born, my family (mom, dad, and sisters) all came up to stay, too. DD is the first grandbaby on both sides, so you can imagine.
I loved having my mom around. She was a huge help, just keeping up on chores and cooking. I'd have her come around to help again in a heartbeat. But the whole clan, both sides? Please no. It was really overwhelming (and I'm not a high stress person). There are just a lot of emotions going on in those first two weeks. I think I would've been stressed not having my mom there, because I just couldn't handle thinking about cooking/chores. But it was definitely not fun having EVERYONE there all the time.
We'll be having this baby 6 hours away from both families, so it'll be easier to hold everyone off, I think. But I don't recommend having a ton of family around when you just had a baby. A few extra hands are nice, but too many extra hands are a nightmare. I already told DH I can't do it that way again.
Luckily, my in-laws live in town, so they won't be staying with us, at the very least! My sister is planning to fly out the day after Christmas and stay for a couple of weeks. Mind you, we won't have a big place--just a 2BR apartment. BUT, she's willing to sleep on the couch and just wants to be there to help out. Since she has three kids and is planning on being an OB nurse, I figure that it can't hurt too much. The rest of my immediate family will undoubtedly want to be there, but they have to stay at a hotel.
I would love our small family bonding time, but I also know that my family likes to be really helpful when babies come. They do grocery shopping, clean up, run errands, and will even get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby a bottle if needed just so the new mom can sleep. Selfishly, I like the idea of that much help in the beginning.
We went through this with our first, and I see it happening again this year (I have the exact same due date, just 2 yrs. later). Last time, my husband's parents, two sisters, and one sister's kids came right after Christmas. Even though they stayed at a hotel, they were at our house from morning til close to midnight most days. It was definitely too much for me, but my husband got upset when I complained because they only see us a couple times a year. This time around, I'm insisting on more reasonable "visiting hours." I'll say something to the in-laws myself if I have to.
My DS was born on a Thursday night. My in-laws came on Friday and stayed until Sunday afternoon. DS and I were released from the hospital on Saturday morning and I was unexpectedly happy to have my MIL there. She cooked all our meals. I swear my already clean house was even cleaner after she left. She forced me to take rest when DS was napping. She was a dream and I would love if she came for the first couple days the next time around as well.
My Mom and Stepdad came over Sunday night for dinner. They brought dinner, which was nice, but destroyed the kitchen in the process. When they left I had a mess of dishes, cleaning and leftovers to deal with. After they left I was almost in tears and almost ready to call my MIL to come back. My DH sent me straight to bed and we both tackled the mess in the morning.
My mom is the only family member who knows thus far. She's retired and will probably come over for extended periods of time to help the first couple weeks since they only live 5 minutes away. My in-laws live 2 hours away and are welcome to come for the holidays, but it would be a day trip or overnight and leave the next afternoon only. I'd be ok with just my MIL for several days but they always bring the whole crew. Not something I want to deal with right after having a baby. I love my in-laws but I'm not close with them like my mom, obviously. I was pretty exhausted after I had DD and didn't feel like entertaining anyone for several weeks. Or months, really.
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
Well my parents live across country and the IL's live 5 min away. Christmas day is normally spent with the IL's at their house. So if baby comes early is at least a week old, we would go and spend the day at their house. If baby is less than I week old I would say we would go, eat and stay for an hour or two and go home.
My parents want to come out at Christmas time. If they do they will stay at a hotel. With DD they came out when she was a month old due to the fact that she was 2 weeks early. We basically just sat at the house and did nothing for a full week. It was kind of boring but there wasn't much to do anyways with a one month old and parents who didn't want to spend any money.
I'm a little nutty in the fact that I'm Christmas CRAZY. I mean nuts so I'm thinking about holiday logistics and making sure that DS, who will be 2.5, will have a great Christmas. Even if I have a 2 day old, Xmas day is happening! I think we'll have a back up day where if I'm in the hospital on Xmas Day, we will do Xmas on the 27th. DH and I are both only children so we're fortunate enough that our paents both come together during the holidays.
Family wno't be travelling in but I think our travelling to people will be limited. We won't be doing a special holiday tour of the baby until the New Year I don't think. We found family visits very over whelming with DS and since the holidays are additionally busy, we'll be restricting it a bit this time.
The way that I see this pregnancy going... I am going to need my mom around! My mom lives 5 and half hours away and my beau's folk live all the way in California (we live in Texas).
This is the 1st grandchild for both. I am sure my Mom has been plotting on ways to get up here and help out. I am not too sure about his Mom and family though.
Another reason that I want/will want my Mom around for a little while is b/c my Beau is self-employed and I know he will not be able to take off so much time b/c we will need it to survive...
We host Thanksgiving every year, and I'm due two weeks later, so my mom is already planning on just sticking around until the baby comes.
We usually do Christmas with the ILs, so this year they'll be coming here... We haven't talked about whether or not they'll be getting hotel rooms, but since our family is all out of state, I've already succumb to the theory that we're going to be invaded with visitors.
::The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar that even the ultimate fullfillment of that hope cannot fully erase:: Thomas Hardy
M/MC at 9w4d 5/23/12.
DS1- 8/2013
DS2- 11/2015 (Second round IUI)
DD- 9/2017
Baby #4 Due 5/10/20 TEAM GREEN
I'm stressing a little about this because I've always said that December is the one month I wouldn't want to have a baby. My DH and I usually travel for 4 weeks between Nov-Jan since both our families are 4-5 hour flights away and Dh's bday is the 20th and Christmas is my favorite holiday.
Right now I'm not even trying to figure it out. There is a chance in-laws might be living with us for awhile for cancer treatment and if they're here I def. won't let my parents be here. If they're not here I'm not sure how I'll handle it. I'd be sad not being able to celebrate Christmas with family, but I'm also not sure I can handle an entourage when guests are always hard on me anyway because of my fibromyalgia.
My parents live about an hour away and my brother lives about 6 hours away, they always come down the week before Christmas, so I pray I'm not late and we can go there for Christmas. It'll be the only time they will get to see the baby till Feb.
My IL's live 10 miles away, so I'd think my MIL will be here a lot and she always has Christmas Eve & Day dinner, so it'll be nice and convenient with a newborn.
We haven't told anyone yet, but the only family member that I would allow be here for the birth is my mom. She watched my other two kids be born, so it wouldn't bother me. My husband's family can come visit in late January or February if they want.
DD1 EDD 08/18/01, born 08/03/2001 ~ 9lbs 10oz, 21.5 in
DS1 EDD 4/30/2004, born 05/04/2004 ~ 10lbs, 22 in
mc 02/14/12 @ 5 weeks
DD2 EDD 12/25/12, born 12/30/12 ~ 10lbs 11oz, 21.25 in
mc 12/05/15 @ 12 weeks
Cautiously expecting 12/02/16
Yes, my father and step-mother are planning to come out this way around Christmastime now. I invited them.
They weren't here for DD's birth, specifically because they wanted to stay clear of my mother. It's my dad's turn and I'm putting my foot down.
married bio
This. Before DS I was totally in the "how annoying i don't want guests" but you are so tired that you appreciate the help, assuming that the people visiting are helpful, do dishes, cook, etc.