September 2012 Moms

Serious Concerns About BFs Mother

So, at this point and time, my boyfriend's mother is AWOL in New York and has no idea we're pregnant.  Thank god for that.  My greatest wish is that it would stay that way, and BF feels the same way.  His mother was abusive, manipulative, mentally unstable, and just a general bad influence (she stripped and prostituted herself during his childhood).  She hasn't been in his life for years, and like I said, I'd love to keep it that way.

But what do I do if she finds out?  Obviously, if my boyfriend at any point decided he'd want to try and mend his relationship with her, I would be supportive, but I still would not feel comfortable with her being around my child.  And if they DON'T, how do I handle her if she tries to come into our life?  Can you get a restraining order on  the basis of her being a psycho?

Has anyone else had a similar situation or have any advice?  This is honestly one of my biggest concerns about this child growing up is what is going to happen when she finds out she has a grandchild floating around that she can try and sink her claws into.

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Re: Serious Concerns About BFs Mother

  • I was being a little facetious lol, but I really do wonder what she would have to do for that to happen.  I'm honestly less worried about what she does anytime soon and more worried about what she would do when my baby is a teenager and impressionable and hates us lol.  And of course, there's no way to know how she'll be.  The last time she contacted him was a little less than a year ago, and she seemed as flighty and out there as ever.  It's not something that I worry constantly about, but I do want to kind of have a plan in order in case she one day just shows up (which is usually what she would do) wanting to see her grandchild, because honestly, if she just appeared without warning, I would probably feel compelled to call the police.  I just really wanted to know if anyone else has had to deal with this, and how they handled it.
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  • I have a pretty crazy family myself. If this woman were to show up on your doorstep don't answer the door. If that doesn't work, your DH goes outside to talk to her and calmly ask her to leave. When she refuses, yes, you can call the police. Don't invite her into your home, that will cause more troubles than it is worth. 

    Restraining orders only work when someone is harassing you or threatening you, and sadly, they expire after a certain period of time.

    As for what to do when your kid is a teen, you have to hope that you instilled stranger danger enough to know that she is not a cool woman to just go off with regardless of whether or not she is related to them. 

    Kid #1 - 09/03/12
    Kid #2 - maybe???
    Diagnosed with Severe Ashermans 
    Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
    #11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
    1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
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  • Look at the end of the day that baby is your baby and you can have whom ever you want near your baby.  Plus it is not good to worry about something that you cant control or dont even know if it is going to happen... GL
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