September 2012 Moms
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I feel so violated.

I have a spider bit in my ass crack.  

 

I only wish I was kidding. There are two on my inner thigh, one at my pubic bone, another on my ass cheek and one, fully in my crack.  That little F*cker just took a stroll through my lady bits and went to town.

Something tells me it's going to be a long few days before those things stop itching.  I'm also certain at some point I will slip up in public and look like I'm taking a dig for gold in my bum. 

Re: I feel so violated.

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    Totally sucks that happened, is there some sort of cream?

    However, this post had me giggling from beginning to end... your humor is awesome and will carry you through the itching, even in public (not to be confused with pubic)...

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    I'm very sorry. That full on sucks. 
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    oh my goodness!! that's the worst! I had a spider bite on my leg once..not pretty. can't imagine having one in all of those areas..hope it gets better soon!
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    I know you probably don't find this that funny (yet) but it seriously made me laugh. Especially the part about taking a stroll through your lady bits!

    PS I would feel violated too. That sounds really uncomfortable!


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    this made me laugh. a lot. so much so that i woke my sleeping husband, who gave me a look and all i could do was gasp out, "spider...ass....bum...."

    he now thinks i am insane(er). bless you for this.  

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    That is horrible. My worst fear is a spider on me while I'm asleep so I'm sure I'll have nightmares tonight. I hope the itching stops soon!

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    Oh man! This is hilarious and I feel so bad for you and your nether regions! Same thing happened to a friend of mine on her hour commute home from work. Before she left work, no bites. Got out of the car at home...bites all over her a$$. She was pretty miserable for a few days. Hydrocortisone cream. Sarna lotion is also awesome for itching.
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    imageanitalynn:

    Another fear is a wood tick on my ladyparts. When I was a teenager I found a tick under my butt cheek. It was in just awkward of a spot that I couldn't get it off myself so I had to ask my dad to help me. Mortifying.  

    Well, gee, thanks ladies! Now I have phantom bugs crawling all over me and my "lady bits" are cringing waiting for a bite.

    Anita: I feel mortified just imagining having to ask my dad for help in a similar situation... I think I would have buried that memory so deep it would never surface again.  That will be a good story to tell your kids about the importance of checking for ticks. :)

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    Well, I'm so glad I could provide you ladies with some entertainment.  I'm currently sitting here trying to convince my H to go get me itch cream to slather all over my ass.  

     

    imageanitalynn:

    Another fear is a wood tick on my ladyparts. When I was a teenager I found a tick under my butt cheek. It was in just awkward of a spot that I couldn't get it off myself so I had to ask my dad to help me. Mortifying. 

     

    OMG.  I would have died. 

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    imageSteph+J:
    ew. ew. ow. I'm glad I didn't read this before bed last night.

    EEEEE me too! I often have dreams about spiders that result in me sitting up in bed swiping through the covers or my hair b/c I think there's a spider somewhere...

    Sorry, Meg! Spider bites in the bum definitely warrant husband getting you cream (pregnant or not!). Tell him all the ladies on the Bump agree! 

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    Ugh...that sucks so bad!  Hopefully the itch goes away soon...
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    That sounds terrible! If I had read that before bed, I'm not sure I would have slept. 

    *shudder* 


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    imagesurprised2behereagain:
    If you cut a potato up you can put pieces (thick pieces I used half a potato on each bite) the starch sucks out the venom and kills the burn...not fun GL
     

    OMG!  I'm am dying laughing. I can just imagine the conversation with my husband when he catches me trying to squeeze half a potato between my cheeks!  Ha!! 

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    Oh. My. God.

    I am so sorry, that is horrifying (and I hope the itch doesn't last)!

     

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