Please please help...PPD/PPA retreats?

kaitylin

My DD is 10 months old and I'm still suffering from PPA but I think all of the stress at home has really made it hard for me to fully get passed it. I do better for awhile and then I have set backs and have turned into the hugest hypochondriac ever and I really feel like I need help. I have panic attacks and seriously think I'm going to die and get sad because I feel DD will never know me. I've been sick almost constantly since giving birth and was always very healthy before (a horrible cold every two weeks, vertigo, body aches etc) and have had every test under the sun and the doctors say I'm perfectly healthy but I don't feel healthy and have worked myself up thinking there has to be something seriously wrong if I'm so sick all the time and then it perpetuates the anxiety cycle again. I really don't feel like I have anyone at all who understands the struggle I'm going through. I feel so alone and even DH doesn't get it. He thinks I'm being silly (which I probably am) when I tell him I think I'm dying but I honestly panic about it and I don't think anyone understands how that feels to feel that way and how terrified I am of DD not knowing me. I really want to go to some type of anxiety retreat and just get away for a week or so to focus on getting some help but I really want to find one where I could take DD. Does such a thing exist for moms? I'm hoping there's a PPA retreat on inpatient thing somewhere that I could go with DD for help. The worst thing to do for a mom with PPA is to leave the baby with someone. I'm open to flying anywhere in the US for something and really want treatment that is mom/baby oriented.

I have been to a couple counselors and don't even feel like they understood my fears. I just desperately want to be 100% better for DD because I'm tired of putting on a happy face when inside I'm a wreck.

EllasBride

I'm of little help for the retreat idea, but I can't say enough about the group therapy tht I"m getting with other PPD/PPA moms.  You might want to check with your OB or hospital to see if there is a support group in your area.  

tidetravel

((hugs))

I understand the feeling of wanting to get away from it all.  I agree with PP though, in that a therapy group might be a good option for you at this point.  Take DD with you and "get away" for a couple of hours within a week.  If you're looking for an inpatient treatment center that you can take DD to, I'm not sure that they exist. 

Here is a listing of group meetings/events in CA through Postpartum Support International:

https://postpartum.net/Get-Help/Support-Resources-Map-Area-Coordinators/PSI-Locations-United-States/PSI-California.aspx#events

You may also want to call 1-800-PPD-MOMS and see if they know of anything like what you are looking for.