Not going to be able to back to work?!

AllieBelle1

I took 12 weeks of maternity leave, which is up May 8th. However, DD is EBF and completely refuses all bottles (and pacifiers). 

When I come back to work, I will be moving into a new position to train for becoming the administrator of my facility in June or July. Therefore, I really can't extend my leave. I was also planning to move to bottles, use up my stash and then switch to formula since I will be so busy at work and won't have an office to pump in at first, plus I really hate pumping. 

But now, I'm worried I may have no choice but to stay home, which would put my workplace in a real bind and jeopardize my promotion. Maybe I could work part-time in short spurts and go to the daycare and BF her? But she won't tolerate anyone but me for very long...I just don't know and needed to freak out at little.

Any advice? 

Julz629

First of all.  Take a deep breath and RELAX.  You have almost a month until you go back to work and a lot can change.

DS was awful with bottles for a while.  He took them semi-regularly when I was on maternity leave, but they would regularly take 20-30 minutes.  After a week of being back at work, he was a champ.  Now, he loves his bottles and gets excited when he sees them.  But he also nurses from me whenever I am around (I also hate pumping) and he goes back and forth with no problem.

Your little one will take a bottle from someone because that will be her only choice.  It might be a little rough at first, but trust me...she will get the hang of it.  As much as we tell ourselves our little ones need mom, she is still much too young to really have a preference and she will be perfectly fine in day care.

Breathe...

Julz629

Also, a few bottle tips...

Have you tried different bottles?  We went through 5 different kinds before settling on one.  Give her a couple days to get used to a bottle before trying a new one though.

Also, LEAVE when she takes the bottle.  Not just the room.  Leave the house.  DS was a thousand times more difficult if I was around.

Lastly, have someone experienced give her a bottle while she gets the hang of it.  DH wasn't good at giving the bottle because he had never fed a baby before.  DS would fight it, DH would get frustrated, and it would be a disaster.  But my MIL, mom, and sister were all great with the bottles.  Not that DS is more used to the bottle, anyone can give it to him, but it wasn't that way at first.

Ms5586

Ditto PP - Breathe! 

Do you have anyone that can try to give the bottle to her?  I've heard of several moms having the baby refuse the bottle from mom, because they know she's got the goods lol.  I'd recommend being completely out of the room (out of the house if you can) so she can't smell you. 

kami1977

First who is giving her the bottles?   Some babies refuse to take a bottle from mom and some will refuse to take one if mom is in the house.   If haven't tried leaving the house and letting someone else do it then try that first.  If a grandma is around maybe see if she can do it since some husbands find it distressing.  Keep trying to give the bottle this way everyday till you go back to work.   

If she is Stijl not taking the bottle when you go to daycare, I still wouldn't worry.   She will not starve or suffer from dehydration while you're away.   She may end up taking just enough at daycare to take the edge off her hunger there and then decide to make up for it when you are available, reverse cycling.   If this happens yes it will be rough on y ou and her but she will be fine.  I know that the thought of her being upset is very distressing for you but remember she will be fine.

   

Ashley&Scott

kami1977:

First who is giving her the bottles?   Some babies refuse to take a bottle from mom and some will refuse to take one if mom is in the house.   If haven't tried leaving the house and letting someone else do it then try that first.  If a grandma is around maybe see if she can do it since some husbands find it distressing.  Keep trying to give the bottle this way everyday till you go back to work.   

If she is Stijl not taking the bottle when you go to daycare, I still wouldn't worry.   She will not starve or suffer from dehydration while you're away.   She may end up taking just enough at daycare to take the edge off her hunger there and then decide to make up for it when you are available, reverse cycling.   If this happens yes it will be rough on y ou and her but she will be fine.  I know that the thought of her being upset is very distressing for you but remember she will be fine.

   

This.

DS reverse cycles. He takes 3-4 oz while at daycare over 9 hours. He feeds in the mornings & evenings to make up for it. He's still a happy baby & gaining well.  

I don't think anyone loves pumping but I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. Your employer must provide you with a place to pump, even if you don't have an office. I pump in a supply room. (I actually requested to use that space, it's close to my desk & doesn't disrupt anyone else's daily routine.) I pump 3 times a day, it usually takes about 15 minutes, 10 minutes of actual pumping. I say try it for a few weeks at least, it might not be as hard as you think.  

AllieBelle1

Thanks everyone. I know I need to not worry so much. It just seems like we have made so little progress over the last few weeks that I don't have confidence the next three will make much difference. 

Yes, we have tried several types of bottles, and while I try the bottle with her most often since I have the most opportunity to, DH and my mom have also attempted several times. In the evenings though DH takes primary responsibility for our toddler and gets really discouraged when Cora does nothing but cry with him. I've only left the house on one attempt (with my mom) with no luck but I guess we need to keep trying that.

I'm encouraged that its possible for her to take in less but enough at daycare and then make up for it at other times. I think that's what we'll shoot for at this point. 

mattschic

What brands of bottles have you tried?  We went through sooo many with my DD but finally Tommee Tippee (spelling?) worked for her! 

Have someone else feed her the bottle if at all possible.  If you feed it to her she smells you and wants to just nurse.

idonthavethis

My DD literally did not take a bottle until my first day back at work. It was a worry for me as well because everytime DH or I tried, she cried. I guess she sensed I wasn't there to nurse her because she takes the bottle fine now while I'm at work.