I quit BF'ing

biblionerd

...and I think I'm the happiest I've been since DD was born. I just wanted to offer more reassurance to those who do not want to or can't BF that you don't have to and you will still feel just as close to your LO. I know there's lots of pressure to BF, and I DO wish I could have done it successfully, but it just wasn't working. DD was constantly hungry, I couldn't spend time with DS and felt like he was even suffering because of it. I didn't want to resent my poor little newborn because I was in pain every feeding. Her latch was perfect, but she sucked like a freaking hoover and I couldn't take it any more. She had only gained 1 oz of her birth weight back in the 5 days we had been home. I started formula and she has gained 10 oz in 4 days and isn't rooting 24/7.  Just wanted to throw that out there in case it helps anyone! 

vsalt31

I couldnt agree more. Im choosing to breastfeed, but i agree that its an extremely personal decision. You have to do whats best for you & your family, and only you can know what's best. Best of luck!

mommy~to~mj

I'm a firm believer in happy mom = happy baby so good for you for doing what's right for you and your family!

gisa886

I'm glad you are feeling better. It isn't worth doing if it is making you feel like you are hurting your other child. 

kasper923

Thanks for posting this.  I still question my decision to BF and am unsure what my final outcome will be.

gekeler6

I'm glad things are working better for you!  If you aren't happy, it's not going to work out for anybody.  IMO, there is nothing wrong with formula and I can understand and sympathize with choosing formula.  The happy choice is the right choice!

mbss

I'm actually really disappointed in my docs office not supporting my decision to even possibly not breastfeed (haven't really decided). We had horrible issues with DD and she nearly needed a transfuion due to her breastmilk jaundice and then I had an bad bout of PPD. Nursing didn't help and once I put it to bed, things really settled. It scarred me. Now that I have a 2 year old and no help, I'm just not sure it's best for me and i don't want the added pressure to try if I'm not comfortable. It's unfortunate that we are made to feel that we don't even have a choice IMO.

metucker

kasper923:

Thanks for posting this.  I still question my decision to BF and am unsure what my final outcome will be.

This. I'm glad you are feeling better! 

Musiclover2012

I could have written this myself, I just switched a few days ago too. I am much happier too. DS also had a great latch and I thought we were good to go but 1,5 weeks in I began dreading each feed as it was too painful. I was very upset when I made the decision but now a few days later I feel free. I can spend more time with older DS, get more sleep and my nips are no longer sore. I agree that happy mama Is what's most important. 

PinkPeony6210

I was going to PM you after your post about being frustrated with BFing. I stopped when DD2 was 1 week old because I couldn't devote enough time to DD1, who is always on the go. I felt extremely guilty because it was going so good, but all DD2 wanted to do was eat, and DD1 was suffering. I'm still a bit sad, but it was the best decision for us.

Mrs.Teddy

Although I'm an LC and a huge Bfing supporter I'm a bigger supporter of mama's and them doing whats best for their baby and themselves. So many women feel guilted into BFing, or feel guilty for not wanting to or it not working. I have several friends who come up with excuses as to why it didnt' work. Your job is to love and feed your baby, there's not one right way to do that. Whatever keeps you BOTH healthy and happy it right. No excuses needed, good for you for acknowldging it wasn't best for YOU and doing what was.

angiekay84

Thanks for your post!  I am nine days PP and am struggling with BFing.  I was so excited about BFing, but I have had so many issues. My nipples are inverted making LO's latch without a nipple shield almost impossible, I only produce maybe 1 oz between both breasts per feeding, and I spend an hour each feeding (twenty minutes "breastfeeding" and another 15 pumping...plus the cleaning of parts, burping, etc.).  I'm exhausted by it and dread feeding time as well.

I've seen a LC and am on suppliments to improve supply, but I don't know how much longer this will work.  I will give it a good try, but if 3 or 4 weeks PP I am not seeing a big improvement, I will re-evaluate BFing. 

The LC I am seeing once a week actually told me (as I'm bawling in her office because I feel like a failure) that I should enjoy my LO, and if BF is causing so much stress to the point I am unhappy, it isn't worth it.  Being a mom is so much more than BF.  Her insight really stuck with me and I'm trying to enjoy my baby!

biblionerd

Thanks so much for your support everyone and I'm glad if I could help anyone. I struggled for so long with DS just hoping BF'ing would work and I wish I had called it quits earlier and spent my extra time enjoying him instead of struggling to make milk! I mourned the "loss" of BF'ing last time and in retrospect I realize now it was better. I think that's why it's easier for me this time to just say that it's not working. It has helped me so much to be able to let Fiona's gma feed her while I play with Linus or to let DH take over a bottle when she's up from 3am-10am straight!

loves*green*mlkglass

Thank you so much for this post. Before having DS I had no doubt about my desire to BF, but because of his inability to latch properly I am currently exclusively pumping. I know this is what's best for him, but pumping every few hours combined with supply issues is really taking its toll on me.  He eats nearly every 1.5 hours so I feel like I'm either pumping or feeding all.the.time.

I'm exhausted and in pain and feel like I'm starting to resent BF'ing and DS. I've met with both our hospital's and pediatrician's LCs and both have said this might resolve as he gets older, but in the meantime I'm starting to hate it and I almost feel like its interfering with our bonding.

orriskitten

Another thank you from me, too. I haven't quite given up yet, but am seriously thinking that formula may be the way to go.

We are only 3 days pp, but LO is not latching. She CAN, but just stops, roots and then cries. She has no problems sucking, but just won't do it on the boob. I got a hospital grade pump today to see if I can at least use expressed BM but since it is so early, it is a tiny supply and nowhere near as much as she is now having with formula. Am hoping this improves when my milk comes in. Going to see another LC soon since the one I saw at the hospital was stumped and could not help us.

 In the hospital nothing was more heartbreaking than seeing her trying so hard to get food and not being able to. I was miserable, she was miserable and DH was miserable. Not a single nurse or doctor even suggested that she could be fussy because she was hungry and we should try formula. And I was a mess because all I kept hearing was LCs and other professionals saying "Your body makes as much as your baby needs, trust it."

I had some issues, but DH and I are doing what is best for us as a family. I am going to give pumping a shot to see how it goes and if not, then formula it is and we'll be happier for it.

maccalovah

Thank you for posting this...I haven't even had my baby yet, but am already sort of struggling with the idea of BFing. Even though I logically know this, it's good to hear that it's perfectly ok to stop if it truly isn't working for you....

danandbethg

angiekay84:

Thanks for your post!  I am nine days PP and am struggling with BFing.  I was so excited about BFing, but I have had so many issues. My nipples are inverted making LO's latch without a nipple shield almost impossible, I only produce maybe 1 oz between both breasts per feeding, and I spend an hour each feeding (twenty minutes "breastfeeding" and another 15 pumping...plus the cleaning of parts, burping, etc.).  I'm exhausted by it and dread feeding time as well.

I've seen a LC and am on suppliments to improve supply, but I don't know how much longer this will work.  I will give it a good try, but if 3 or 4 weeks PP I am not seeing a big improvement, I will re-evaluate BFing. 

The LC I am seeing once a week actually told me (as I'm bawling in her office because I feel like a failure) that I should enjoy my LO, and if BF is causing so much stress to the point I am unhappy, it isn't worth it.  Being a mom is so much more than BF.  Her insight really stuck with me and I'm trying to enjoy my baby!

I also have inverted nipples and even with the breast shield LO couldn't latch. He was constantly hungry and I felt like I wasn't making enough milk. I switched to exclusively pumping, and it seems to really have helped my supply. LO has gained the pound back that he lost in the 4 days I tried to BF. Pumping hasn't made my nipples sore either :-) Pump=happy mama-=happy baby @ our house!

dixee.deluxe

You know I'm here for you, Mama!

I have inverted nipples too and both kiddos had latch problems.  But I'm also finding that Adeline also isn't the best latcher on a BOTTLE!  But, my boob (and more importantly, my sanity) isn't suffering for it. 

Kaiene

It helps to know that others have had some difficulty as well, and won't judge.  I wanted to EP, but I hate feeling attached to the pump.  I cried all morning one day last week when we were making the decision to FF.  DH, the pedi and LC have been super supportive, which makes it easier.  I still feel guilty, though.

snoangel79

Right there with you lady. My supply never came in fully, I pumped for Allison for 5 weeks and she got all BM for that time. Now her demand is up and I've stopped all together after doing half then even less. My son got bm only sometimes because he was on the larger side compared to her and doctors suggested she get the bm. I am a much happier mommy!! I did what I could and when my body said no I just stopped and I am not going to feel bad about it <:

edited to add: I had milk go in my pump tubing 3 different times rendering them useless. The last time this happened it was 12 am and I was at home, I pumped with a Avent hand pump, it sucked and hurt so bad! That was the day I said I'm completely done! 

PinkSapphires

Add me to the thank you for posting this group.

BFing has been a terrible experience for me. Between an inverted nipple, a flat nipple, bleeding nipples and major over-supply, feedings have left me in tears for a week straight. I feel like it's preventing me from really bonding with my daughter. I hate that I dread nursing her. I'm thinking of switching to pumping for feedings, but I'm nervous that DD will get too much or too little. Switching over to formula is now on my radar.