LN worrys....wwyd

momofyayme

so the baby daddy of #3 was abusive and i got out of that situation and now I'm with my new boyfriend that i have known for over a year.. the new baby will be here in july and he says he doesn't care if i give it his last name (Silver) but my 17 mo old DD is also by my ex and has his last name (DeHart) and I've always thought that a child should have their Bio fathers last name even if they are not in the pic..i am also worried as they get older there will be a lot of hard questions and confussion for them sense they have the same dad and diff names if i go with Silver, not to mention my DS LN is diff also, diff father... so what would you do 

HannahO28

...I'd give the new baby your LN, and change your DS#3's LN to yours as well

momofyayme

i hate my last name because of issues with my father in the past and don't really want my kids to carry my last name , don't want to have to say it any more than i absolutely have to, but sense this is a new relationship and I'm not sure if we will end up together forever, i don't want a kid with the last name of another man that won't be in the pic for them,  so to me i see my options as my DeHart or unfortunately mine, i was raised by my grandparents and thought of using their last name (DeCamp) but my family isn't as close as it was before they died and i don't want anyone to be weirded out by it just randomly popping up now

SpokenVows

Make up your own LN and use that. My brother made his own last name because our birth LN was so common and he hated it.

caramia582

SpokenVows:

Make up your own LN and use that. My brother made his own last name because our birth LN was so common and he hated it.

Sounds like this is your best option.  Do that.  

gisa886

caramia582:

SpokenVows:

Make up your own LN and use that. My brother made his own last name because our birth LN was so common and he hated it.

Sounds like this is your best option.  Do that.  

Ditto 

strawberrytree

gisa886:

caramia582:

SpokenVows:

Make up your own LN and use that. My brother made his own last name because our birth LN was so common and he hated it.

Sounds like this is your best option.  Do that.  

Ditto 

Agreed. In your situation I think this is your best bet. Start your own family name.  

kelnyc

A lot of hard questions? Sounds pretty simple to me, they have different last names because they have different fathers. So the new baby and the 17 month old have the same dad, but different from babies #1 and 2? Why on earth would the new baby have new boyfriend's last name if he is not the father? That would be more confusing than anything else. It doesn't make sense.

brookelynpaisley

I would start by not having any more baby daddies, for one.

I like the idea of starting your own last name and giving all your kids that one. Prior to seeing that, I was going to say to change all the kids' LN to yours. Then when/if you find a man worth marrying, you can look into giving them that name. However, I think it all depends on how involved these fathers are - I don't know what's involved with having to get permission to change a kid's last name if the father objects.

FWIW, I'm strongly in the camp that single mothers give their children their own last name and not the father's.

jenwet

strawberrytree:

gisa886:

caramia582:

SpokenVows:

Make up your own LN and use that. My brother made his own last name because our birth LN was so common and he hated it.

Sounds like this is your best option.  Do that.  

Ditto 

Agreed. In your situation I think this is your best bet. Start your own family name.  

yep.

Laurakat81

brookelynpaisley:

I would start by not having any more baby daddies, for one.

This.

MelleTX

What is your middle name? Would it be suitable as a last name?

Ex: Angelina Jolie is really Angelina Jolie Voight.