June 2012 Moms
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Wwyd?
I just got back from grocery shopping and was stopped by a student doula who said she needed to attend two more births for free before she is certified so she offered me her services free. This is an amazing deal but I had never considered using a doula before, I'm very private and am planning a home birth and I'm worried if I hire the doula that it would too uncomfortable for me having another person there...so for anyone who is using a doula or has used one before what are your thoughts on them, benefits, drawbacks, ect? Thanks! 
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Re: Wwyd?
That's a big decision to make after a brief meeting at a grocery store. I think if it were me, I'd want to schedule an appointment with her to discuss further, and I'd bring my husband.
If you and your husband can sit down with her, you could hear a bit more about what her role would be in your birth, and you could make sure that your birth preferences match her view of what your birth should be as well. If anything, you'll have a chance to get to know her a bit more, and then you could decide with your husband if her presense would be weird or not.
If you end up liking her, that's a very good deal indeed (free doula!), but if you decide you're uncomfortable with it you're not really losing anything since you weren't planning on having a doula to begin with. Good luck!
Dh had a male co-worker tell him we should get a doula-apparently this guy had one and said she was great at helping him calm down and get through the birth without freaking out. So I looked around and they were crazy expensive in our area. I wanted one, but decided they were just too much.
Then we went to our labor and delivery class at the hospital, and it was taught by this amazing girl about my age who happened to be a doula. She was so calm and comforting and just knew everything about birth and the hospital process. I asked her during the break if she was available in June, and she said to shoot her an e-mail. We finally met with her the other night, she agreed to do it for about half of what the other ladies charge and we signed the contract right there. I'm thrilled. Her heart is amazing-she usually works pro bono for homeless/abused women and believes everyone should have a doula at their birth, hence the low cost. While I don't know her very well at all, I already trust her completely with our birth after we talked for about an hour and a half. There was just something about her.
So I agree an interview would be a good idea. The girl might really strike a cord with you, and it could be a great thing. I was approached by a woman in a book store who asked if she could do my hair for free, as she was applying to a salon and needed to show them some hairstyles (I KNEW my roots were growing out...). She turned out to be GREAT. I went back to her several times.
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I so wish I had gotten a doula with #1. With #1, I was in a large OB practice with doctors and nurses going on and off shift all the time. There was no one in the hospital who had my back or gave a rat's a$$ about my birth plan. DH is wonderful, but he's more the "petting your head" type, then the "kick your butt and get this baby out" type. I truly believe that if I had a doula with me, I wouldn't have ended up with a c-section.
For this birth, I have selected a midwife who will perform both functions for me. And I've made absolutely sure that she and I are on the same page.
With your home birth, I assume you're having a midwife. Will she be there the whole time? Have you talked to her about her preferences? The midwife I selected is definitely "take charge" type. So, I think having a doula would be redundant and perhaps a conflict.
This is exactly why I don't think I need a doula, my midwife will be there the whole time and is very supportive of my decisions so I think I doula would be at a loss for what to do, and on top of that I have my mom and DH there with me....might get a little crowded.