5 months..and still no baby

landosmommy

jacki5:

jessuhmarie:

jacki5:

Serious question. I'm thinking the answer is no since I haven't seen it in my lurking, but is there a board where people can talk about things like the OP early on in their TTC journey and receive the encouragement their looking for or at least not receive so much negativity? I'm not trying to upset people with this question, just really asking. I think there'd be a number of newcomers who would support each other if they didn't get scared off of what by name appears to be the only board for people TTC but not far along in the journey or having TTTC. I understand why people who've been trying longer don't like to see others complain or get anxious so early, but as people often point out, there are a lot of women who DO complain and get anxious early on and it would be nice to know that there are others in the same place as them.

babygaga.com

wtewye.com

Thank you, but he second site didn't come up when I copied and pasted and I don't know what it is. I will definitely check them out. But overall I really like the bump and most of the boards.  I don't hate this board I, just not what I'm looking for. I would love to have something on this site that's less snarky. I know some people do enjoy that or at least appreciate it. I suppose I understand, but I still say there should be a separate one (not sure what it would be), not one where people can't say anything negative just where these types of early concerns and questions are deemed appropriate vs. this board where people aren't supposed to express their concerns early on, especially if they haven't had a chance to post much previously.

This is just the way the board is, has been & always will be. Trust me, you're not going to change it. If you don't like it, there's nothing keeping you here. It isn't for everyone.

shannonj517

Thank you for your post. You are proof that there are good human-beings in this world that don't always try to one-up each other with who's story is the most horrible. As you said this is not the TTTC board because I did look at that board but realized it was for people who had been trying to concieve for longer than a year. Some of these comments are just horrible! I didn't know that posting to a blog would bring out such nasty things from people when, like them, I am striving towards the same goal they are. I feel sorry for some of u and am baffles but the lack of maturity. To think that some of you are trying to be parents? I do not mean to be blunt but most of the comments were just down right un-called for! and then people starting conversations on my comment with childish little comments to each other...wow! If me trying to concieve really ticks u off that much, then please, ny all means, refrain from reading this. My battle is my battle, as well, yours is yours. for the record..I was not complaining, I was simply sharing my story like the million other people on this web site.

shannonj517

My apologies that I didn't my "proper research" in order to blog on an effing website. Some of these responses are completely rediculous. To think that some of you cold hearted people want to be parents! I was simply trying something new but I can tell already, I want no part in this. So those of u who want to have a pissing contest to see who's story is the worst, go ahead. I was just looking to relate of connect with some caring, respectable women, who are trying to get preganat also but I can clearly tell this is not the place for many of those. Good luck to you all....remember the concept of KARMA!

kimcchem

LiteraryFoodie:

The variation in your cycles that you mention is quite common. It is unlikely that you will always have exactly 28 day cycles--unless you are on BC. It is normal for them to vary by a few days.

Like PP said, read the newbie link and consider charting. That will give you a lot of insight into your body--for example seeing the reasons for your varied cycle length (did you ovulate a different day; is your LP changing, etc.).

This! And please read the newbie link! It is a wealth of information!

kimcchem

shannonj517:

My apologies that I didn't my "proper research" in order to blog on an effing website. Some of these responses are completely rediculous. To think that some of you cold hearted people want to be parents! I was simply trying something new but I can tell already, I want no part in this. So those of u who want to have a pissing contest to see who's story is the worst, go ahead. I was just looking to relate of connect with some caring, respectable women, who are trying to get preganat also but I can clearly tell this is not the place for many of those. Good luck to you all....remember the concept of KARMA!

Actually I have found that if you do take the time to do a little research and come to the board seeking legitamate advice (not its been 5 months pity party), that the women on this board have been nothing but supportive of each other. Take some time to get to know the board, do a little lurking and you will see this. Good luck to you.

CMSullivan326

I couldn't even read half of this thread without my eyes going crossed.

Holy walls of text!

Adam&Eve07

shannonj517:

My apologies that I didn't my "proper research" in order to blog on an effing website. Some of these responses are completely rediculous. To think that some of you cold hearted people want to be parents! I was simply trying something new but I can tell already, I want no part in this. So those of u who want to have a pissing contest to see who's story is the worst, go ahead. I was just looking to relate of connect with some caring, respectable women, who are trying to get preganat also but I can clearly tell this is not the place for many of those. Good luck to you all....remember the concept of KARMA!

Well if you had kept your mouth shut learned your lesson that pity parties for new posters is not widely accepted you might have had a chance on this board.

But you had to go and comment on how we are going to be bad parents. FYI, a lot of women on this board are already parents and are ttc their second (me included).

Andplusalso, Nice GBCB in your first post. It really was a nice touch. 

 

CMSullivan326

shannonj517:

My apologies that I didn't my "proper research" in order to blog on an effing website. Some of these responses are completely rediculous. To think that some of you cold hearted people want to be parents! I was simply trying something new but I can tell already, I want no part in this. So those of u who want to have a pissing contest to see who's story is the worst, go ahead. I was just looking to relate of connect with some caring, respectable women, who are trying to get preganat also but I can clearly tell this is not the place for many of those. Good luck to you all....remember the concept of KARMA!

My poor son! How is he ever going to get through life with such a cold hearted mother!?

I didn't have a problem with you, just thought you were uneducated on how your body works, but now I think you're a twatnugget. Feel free to never come back here, you won't be missed.

JellyTwoPointO

kicius56:

See, maybe this is where you went wrong. This is not a blog. It's a community. Look it up.

Except it's not. I mean, that's what the regulars have turned it into, but really, it's not. And I think people who have been on the inside forget what it's like to be on the outside. Meaning, do you not realize that not every woman in the world automatically knows what thebump.com is? You also don't grow up knowing all the right and wrong knowledge about TTC. If you google articles about pregnancy or questions about pregnancy, this website is going to pop up. That's how a lot of newcomers find us. 

This is a public message board that regulars have turned into a community with unwritten rules, codes, and regulations. But that doesn't mean someone surfing the Internet and stumbling across this website is going to know that.

Theres also a difference between plain old stupid questions and just new to TTC questions, which sound stupid to those who have been at it for awhile, but we all had to start somewhere. I think he frustration about 5 months of trying was innocent, albiet ignorant. But her newbie question is far more reasonable than "OMG I had unprotected sex 2 days ago, could I be preggers?"  We don't all come here as experts. That's why you ask questions and learn. 

CMSullivan326

Jellybean902:

kicius56:

See, maybe this is where you went wrong. This is not a blog. It's a community. Look it up.

Except it's not. I mean, that's what the regulars have turned it into, but really, it's not. And I think people who have been on the inside forget what it's like to be on the outside. Meaning, do you not realize that not every woman in the world automatically knows what thebump.com is? You also don't grow up knowing all the right and wrong knowledge about TTC. If you google articles about pregnancy or questions about pregnancy, this website is going to pop up. That's how a lot of newcomers find us. 

This is a public message board that regulars have turned into a community with unwritten rules, codes, and regulations. But that doesn't mean someone surfing the Internet and stumbling across this website is going to know that.

Theres also a difference between plain old stupid questions and just new to TTC questions, which sound stupid to those who have been at it for awhile, but we all had to start somewhere. I think he frustration about 5 months of trying was innocent, albiet ignorant. But her newbie question is far more reasonable than "OMG I had unprotected sex 2 days ago, could I be preggers?"  We don't all come here as experts. That's why you ask questions and learn. 

When I first came to TB in 2009, I was pregnant with DS, so TTGP wasn't the first board I came to. Before I posted I lurked around the boards, for weeks, actually it was closer to about 2 months, before I made my first post.

I'm not just going to go posting all over a website, I don't care what site it is. Seeing how a site works, how things go, and get a feeling of how things are done before posting/commenting is just common sense to me.

Sure, her first post was WAY more tame than some of the crap we've seen before, but had she lurked around she would have seen that she's not the only one that's frustrated, there are MANY women who have been trying for longer and she would have seen the "flow" of this board. But she didn't.

I understand your argument, I get it. Like I said, I personally didn't have a problem with her, until she posted about "cold hearted women trying to get pregnant". Now, she can GTFO.

jacki5

bbg676:

Jacki - if you have been 'lurking for some time', you would know that an AE (and an obvious AE at that) is frowned upon in this establishment.  You set up an account less than 2 hours ago but also know the 'feel' for this board.  This means that Jacki is not your main account.

OP - I am sorry that is has taken you 5 months.  As others have pointed out, it takes a healthy, average couple up to one year to have a child. 

I think where you rubbed people wrong is when you indicated the reason you haven' t started temping/using OPKs yet is because you didn't want to admit to yourself you had trouble trying to conceive.  There are hundreds of women on this site that have only been trying for a few months that are using temping/charting/OPKs.  They are not TTTC yet.  They are still at the beginning of their journey.  But when you make a comment like you did (about how using those things means you are TTTC), you upset some people on this board. 

Using temping/charting/OPKs is a way to get to know your body.  There are hundreds of women that have been surprised to find out, when they temped, that they ovulated later or earlier than they had assumed.  Even if your cycle is always 28-30 days, your LP might be shorter than normal.  Or you might O sooner with a longer LP.  Until you temp, you don't really know. 

It isn't 'admitting that you are TTTC' when you temp/OPK.  You are figuring out your cycle and body.  Doctors use x-rays to diagnose bone issues; we use temping/charting to figure out our cycles.  An egg only lives 12-24 hours if it is not fertilized.  Timing can be tricky if you don't know what it is released.

I hope you stick around and learn from these girls - they know what they are talking about.  Check out Fertilityfriend.com - any of our tickers can link you to it.  Read the newbie link to answer some of your questions.  Check out the book that was mentioned earlier. 

Good luck!

jacki5

jacki5:

bbg676:

Jacki - if you have been 'lurking for some time', you would know that an AE (and an obvious AE at that) is frowned upon in this establishment.  You set up an account less than 2 hours ago but also know the 'feel' for this board.  This means that Jacki is not your main account.

OP - I am sorry that is has taken you 5 months.  As others have pointed out, it takes a healthy, average couple up to one year to have a child. 

I think where you rubbed people wrong is when you indicated the reason you haven' t started temping/using OPKs yet is because you didn't want to admit to yourself you had trouble trying to conceive.  There are hundreds of women on this site that have only been trying for a few months that are using temping/charting/OPKs.  They are not TTTC yet.  They are still at the beginning of their journey.  But when you make a comment like you did (about how using those things means you are TTTC), you upset some people on this board. 

Using temping/charting/OPKs is a way to get to know your body.  There are hundreds of women that have been surprised to find out, when they temped, that they ovulated later or earlier than they had assumed.  Even if your cycle is always 28-30 days, your LP might be shorter than normal.  Or you might O sooner with a longer LP.  Until you temp, you don't really know. 

It isn't 'admitting that you are TTTC' when you temp/OPK.  You are figuring out your cycle and body.  Doctors use x-rays to diagnose bone issues; we use temping/charting to figure out our cycles.  An egg only lives 12-24 hours if it is not fertilized.  Timing can be tricky if you don't know what it is released.

I hope you stick around and learn from these girls - they know what they are talking about.  Check out Fertilityfriend.com - any of our tickers can link you to it.  Read the newbie link to answer some of your questions.  Check out the book that was mentioned earlier. 

Good luck!

oops having trouble quoting you and not making a long string of quotes.

I find it hilarious that you jump to that conclusion.  I could see why an AE would be frowned upon. Thing is why would I create one? I've been lurking for a while, but I only created an account today because I finally had something to say. You don't have to have an account set up to watch. Does that not qualify as lurking then? Well I've been watching/ for a while then

jacki5

bbg676:

jacki5:

jacki5:

bbg676:

Jacki - if you have been 'lurking for some time', you would know that an AE (and an obvious AE at that) is frowned upon in this establishment.  You set up an account less than 2 hours ago but also know the 'feel' for this board.  This means that Jacki is not your main account.

OP - I am sorry that is has taken you 5 months.  As others have pointed out, it takes a healthy, average couple up to one year to have a child. 

I think where you rubbed people wrong is when you indicated the reason you haven' t started temping/using OPKs yet is because you didn't want to admit to yourself you had trouble trying to conceive.  There are hundreds of women on this site that have only been trying for a few months that are using temping/charting/OPKs.  They are not TTTC yet.  They are still at the beginning of their journey.  But when you make a comment like you did (about how using those things means you are TTTC), you upset some people on this board. 

Using temping/charting/OPKs is a way to get to know your body.  There are hundreds of women that have been surprised to find out, when they temped, that they ovulated later or earlier than they had assumed.  Even if your cycle is always 28-30 days, your LP might be shorter than normal.  Or you might O sooner with a longer LP.  Until you temp, you don't really know. 

It isn't 'admitting that you are TTTC' when you temp/OPK.  You are figuring out your cycle and body.  Doctors use x-rays to diagnose bone issues; we use temping/charting to figure out our cycles.  An egg only lives 12-24 hours if it is not fertilized.  Timing can be tricky if you don't know what it is released.

I hope you stick around and learn from these girls - they know what they are talking about.  Check out Fertilityfriend.com - any of our tickers can link you to it.  Read the newbie link to answer some of your questions.  Check out the book that was mentioned earlier. 

Good luck!

oops having trouble quoting you and not making a long string of quotes.

I find it hilarious that you jump to that conclusion.  I could see why an AE would be frowned upon. Thing is why would I create one? I've been lurking for a while, but I only created an account today because I finally had something to say. You don't have to have an account set up to watch. Does that not qualify as lurking then? Well I've been watching/ for a while then

You're right - I assumed.  If you aren't an AE, I am sorry.  Through your lurking, I'm sure you saw the AE drama the last few weeks.  I guess my AE-dar was a little too tightly wound.  Since your sn was just created last night and yet you know the tone of the board, you should be able to see why people would jump to that conclussion.  Again, if you aren't an AE, I am sorry.

Thanks for that. I did see some of the drama and yea I guess it's not too surprising you went there. Just never thought to create an account until I had something to say

kibylou

Your situation sounds a lot like mine coming off BC.  I had the same 28 days cycles, then they started getting a little longer and longer, up to 32 and 33 days.  I wondered during my 33 day cycle if I had a CP, but I wasn't actively trying then so I never took a pregnancy test.

 It's probably better not to know for me actually.  I did get a BFP and have a miscarriage in March and it was and still is devastating.  

So just stay optimistic and know that your cycles may or not be changing. Try temping, it'll help you know when you ovulate!  Good luck and don't pay attention to the snarky ladies on this board. There are lots of nice ones.  And even the snarky ones have some good advice because they've usually been through it all.  Welcome!