Gifts for birthparents
We just found out last week that we have been matched, and we will meet the birth parents in a few weeks! Our agency recommends bringing a small gift to the first meeting and then another to the hospital.
I would be really interested to hear what gifts everyone has given to (or received as) birth parents.
I feel a little uncomfortable showing up at the first meeting with gifts, so I'd prefer something low key. Our social worker suggested a photo album with a few photos of us (and plenty of blank pages for baby photos), but I feel weird gifting people I don't know with photos of us. Instead I'm considering putting together a care package for the hospital, e.g. journal/pen, snacks, slipper socks, small bottle of lotion, things like that.
Any other ideas? I'm especially stumped on ideas for the birth father.
Re: Gifts for birthparents
Here's what DD's adoptive parents gave me at our first meeting (without pictures, I filled it with hospital pictures later). I think this would suffice for both birth parents... or get them two.. one for each of them. This is a very special album to me and I'm glad they bought it while thinking of me.
Me, personally, I wouldn't give BM (or BF) the kind of gift that will be used and done with.. She's going to want something special to remember everything by (just my two cents).
ETA: OH - BTW, CONGRATS!!
When we first met BM I gave her a bottle of that body butter stuff to help with stretch marks because her friends (she was freshly turned 15) told me she really wanted it but couldn't afford it. We also gave her an album with some photos of us and room for baby photos. I wanted to keep it small/light.
At 37 weeks I gave her a hospital bag I put together with some lounge clothes, toiletries, bath and body works lotions and shower gels, things like that.
At dinner the night before DD was born we gave her earrings in DDs birthstone from DD and a diamond pendant necklace from DH and I.
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
We didn't give anything to BM at our initial meeting.
After DD was born, but before TPR, we gave BM a necklace very similar to this: https://www.etsy.com/listing/61967673/sterling-silver-handstamped-rememberence?ref=sr_gallery_3&ga_ref=auto1&ga_search_query=i+carry+you+in+my+heart&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=all
and an empty photo album for the pictures we would send.
When we met our dd's birthmom we took a mini scrapbook of us and our family (we gave it to her) and a box of homemade cookies. I also took a few art supplies (paint/paper/brushes) because we were told that she liked art.
When dd was born we took her a bouquet of her favorite flowers, a build-a-bear teddy (we made 2 and gave one to her and kept one for dd -- we took dd's pic with it every month and sent it to her birthmom.) We also gave her a letter from us thanking her and a few hospital stay type of things.
We didn't give her anything like jewelry until after TPR was signed a month later. We waited until Christmas and gave her a pretty necklace with 3 hearts that were connected.
For the first meeting I would keep it simple - I would do what your social worker suggested and give them an album or photobook. We found that it was a great way for them to 'meet' us and it gave us a lot to talk about while we were getting to know each other at that first meeting. I would hold off on the hospital care package until you're at the hospital. And I would do just the one album for the expectant parents unless they are no longer together -- than just put two together so they can each have one.
We did not meet our birthparents until after DD was born like others have mentioned. When we met them at the hospital we gave them an empty photo album, a handwritten note and a stuffed animal (that we had bought two of, one for DD and the other for their older daughter.)
We we got together at our first meeting (after TPR) we gave them a visa gift card (it was Christmas time), an outfit for their daughter and this necklace with a pink stone: https://www.etsy.com/listing/79832605/supreme-necklace-with-inital-tag-white
A friend of mine told me about a book she had purchased their birth father. It was blank and had entries for the birth father to write in. Memories of his childhood, favorite things, etc. If I can get ahold of her I will try and post a link of it later.
Congrats on your match!
Thanks for the ideas everyone. She will be almost 37 weeks by the time we meet, and we likely won't see them again until the birth, so anything for the hospital will need to be given at this meeting.
I think we are going to go with the care package for the first meeting, but we will definitely get something more special for after the baby is born. I'm already working on knitting two teddy bears - one for the baby and one for the birth mom. We will probably also get a piece of jewelry; I really like some of the links in this thread. I'm still stumped on something for the birth father, but hopefully meeting him will help us decide.
Oh, and I don't know if he wears jewelry but I remember reading once about a adoptive couple that gave their baby's birthfather a dog-tag style necklace with the baby's birthdate and name on it. Not sure if that would be his style, though, and not all guys like jewelry.
Maybe a small photo keychain or keychain that was engraved with the baby's birthdate/name?