Picking godparents question

Jaze16

My husband and I will be the first in both of our families to have a baby. I was wondering if there are specific rules to follow for picking godparents. I have an older brother and SIL, and my husband has a brother w/ a future SIL and a sister with our future BIL. I love all of our siblings, but my ideal choice for godparents would be either my brother or his sister. Typically, if I choose my brother as the godfather, do I choose his wife as the godmother? Or is it possible to choose my brother as godfather and my husbands sister as godmother? Or can the baby have two godparents? I hate having to choose between ppl. I love and I'm not sure how the whole godparents thing works. I know when I was younger, it was the people we would be taken care of if something happened to my parents...so that makes me think it should be a husband/wife that are named godparents. Thanks!

 

<a href="https://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="https://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt11f35b.aspx" alt=" BabyFetus Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

Jaze16

Annnd I failed at trying to add a ticker thing at the bottom of my post....Im usually good with computers, but how are all of you adding the images at the bottom of your posts??

JaneG2011

The god parents totally don't have to be a couple.  Pick the two people who you feel you should honor the most.  One of each of sibilings makes the most sense to me. 

JustcallmeGG2

i really have no idea who we are going to pick.  Our siblings aren't crazy about kids at all.  And i have heard a million horror stories about people who pick friends and they never are around for their kids anymore after a year or so.

Kayte317

IDK if there is a "correct" answer to this.  We went with what we are most comfortable with.  I picked my best friend (we've been best friends since birth, literally, and there is no one I would trust more).  My husband picked his best friend (who he's also known since forever).  I'm not thrilled about DH's pick but I figure we each chose 1.  In reality, if anything was to ever happen to us, it would be my parents or my best friend who got the kids.  Most likely my parents depending on how old my parents are (my parents are much older parents) then my best friend if my parents aren't feasible.  Good luck!  It's such a hard decision!

Switzerland87

We picked close friends of ours, who happen to be a married couple, with the intent that they would be both a big part of our girls' lives and be the ones to take care of them should anything happen to us. We simply didn't feel that my brother and SIL were the right choice, DH's sister is only 17 and far from being in a place in her life to take on raising twins. Our friends, however, have been a major part of our lives for years (the one having been DH's best friend since 7th grade), and we trust them to take care of our girls as we would take care of them ourselves. I think the trust aspect of the godparent relationship is the most important. 

myheromyworld89

Did you copy/past the link in the post or in your signitures? Your sig can be found on your profile, under settings I believe. 

To answer you OP, it depends on what purpose you have for naming Godparents.  Being Godparents means different things to different people, and when you pick them I would definitely explain to them what it is that you expect of them.  Traditionally Godparents were responsible for the spiritual education of the child and to take care of the child should they lose their parents.  Now days it often times has no religious affiliation, it's more or less someone who takes and interest in the childs upbringing.  If you're picking someone to care for your child in the event something happens to you and your husband, then idealy it should be a couple.  Just depends on what you're expecting of them, I don't believe there are really rules to this. 

christieep

hijoi:

Also, as far as picking friends, I personally would advise against that unless they are a huge part of your life.

I agree with this as well as what some other PP have said.  Think about what role you want the godparents to play.  In my family, godparents are like second parents to myself and my sisters, my godmother is who I go to when my own family is driving me nuts.  In DH's family, I don't even know if they all know who their godparents are.

As for choosing friends it is important that they are part of your life.  I am godmother to my niece and one of my sister's friends is godfather, my niece probably hasn't seen him in 8 years (she is 9).  My sister made DH her unofficial godfather.  We are choosing friends as our child's godparents (if they accept) but these are people we see fairly often and DH has been friends with since high school (he graduated over 10 years ago, so the friendship has stuck).

sisterjanet

In my family, the tradition is that, in theory, it's about religion, but in practice the godparent is the one (besides the parents and grandparents) who gives presents on birthdays and Christmas.

expletive baby

My husband and I JUST had this discussion. I had an idea of who we would each pick and I turned out to be right. He picked his best friend and I selected my cousin who is basically more like my sister. They were the Best Man and the Maid of Honor for us, so it's sort of sweet. 

We are, however, still debating the legality issue - in legal documents who would take care of them if something were to happen to us. While I am looking at it from a mostly ceremonial type of approach (like I already know I want one of my brothers to be the godfather is we have a second child), my husband is looking at it from a legal approach (if all of our theoretical kids have different godparents who do they go to yadda yadda yadda). 

So, we haven't 100% decided on anything yet. Glad to see the opinions here! 

GreenMonkey1

You can definitely pick two people who are not married.  I am my niece's godmother and my BIL's brother is the godfather.  We're Roman Catholic.

There is a difference between godparent and guardians.  If DH and I both kick it then our child would be raised by my sister and BIL.  They will be named in our will as first guardians.  The concept of the "guardian" (at least in Ohio) is a legal issue.  Godparents are religious. 

DH and I are having a hard time naming godparents for our upcoming baby as well because his family is not Catholic.  We can have a "Christian Witness", but have to have at least one Catholic godparent.  And (as far as I can tell) they cannot be the same gender.  So if I want my sister to be a godparent (and I do) then we need a male godparent/Christian witness.  We had this issue around the wedding because people were feeling "left out" because they aren't Catholic even though we tried to make the mass as inclusive for non-Catholics as possible - but no, I cannot make you Catholic or us not Catholic.