November 2011 Moms
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
It has been a little while.
Well, I wanted to message to let you ladies know what happen at the doctor. My son had his mri and the results came back that he has porencephaly with hydrocephalus. He had surgery on Monday(on my birthday) and had a VP shunt placed his brain. His doctor took me off for two weeks so that I can care for him during this time. Well since I am off work, my hr has decided to take all of my vacation time that I have left to make up for time off, which is fine, but I was scheduled to have a vacation the second week of May. I set up two doctors appointments for my son during that vacation. One is with his surgeon and the other is with his pediatrician. The surgeon appointment is an all day thing because he is two hours away from us. Well I explained to my boss about this and she says that I am going to have to take a write up. She has already wrote me up for doctors appointments for my son and for myself. My doctor found a tumor on my left ovary and I am possibly going to have surgery. My boss says that I don't have any fmla time because I took maternity leave in November through January 25th. Before my leave of absence, my boss said that my leave would be considered one write up, but now she has decided to take away all of my vacation. My concern is that my son and myself are going to have several doctors appointments for the remaining of the year. I am going to end up getting fired because of these appointments because she took away my vacation time. I was going to save that time specifically for these appointments. I just don't know what to do because I need the health insurance, but I have to be here for my son. He has special needs and that is what it is. I feel like that I am at a crossroads and I need to decide whether I need to resign and move on or stay with my job and possibly get fired. I feel like I would be wasting my time if I stay and wasting my company's time. I wish there was something I can do and work at home so that I will have the time to take care of my son. If you ladies have any suggestions, please let me know. I really need the advice now. Thank you.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
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Re: It has been a little while.
T&P's for you and your LO.
Also, if I was in your situation I would quit my job. Your boss sounds like a heartless b!tch.
I'm so sorry for all you've been through. My DD has a VP shunt as well, which she got when she was 3 weeks old. Thankfully I was still on ML and I can't imagine having to go through this and balancing work as well.
Your boss sounds like a real B. I would try to talk with her about whether you can make up your time and how to work around your DS's appointments. I know when we have appointments for DD, they are usually all day, so is there an option of doing 4-10 hour days that week? Can you work at all from home? Check emails in the evenings?
This is really scary, and I remember so well going through all this with DD. I'm very fortunate that my work has been supportive of me and her condition, and I know I would not be able to get through this if they weren't. But no matter what, my family comes first. DD is more important that my job, and I would probably leave my job if I couldn't balance both. Before you leave, check to see if you and/or DS qualify for medical assistance.
Sending lots and lots of hugs your way!!!
I'm so sorry you are going through this with your son and added stress from work doesn't help.
If you used all your FMLA time during your maternity leave your boss is probably right. I know my company also has policies that you have to use vacation/personal time before taking unpaid time, etc.
Did your husband also use all of his FMLA? Is it an option for him to take some time off for some of these appointments? If your job is important to you that might be a route to take (legally if he has been employed for 1 year in a company with over 50 employees he is allowed to take 12 weeks off in one year for medical reasons as well).
If you do end up losing your job and insurance you could look into public health insurance plans - I don't know what is available in your area but they have pretty good benefits in a lot of states - at least for your son - although it sounds like it is important for you to have insurance as well. Often hospitals have medical social workers that can help you navigate insurances, etc.
I'm really sorry you are going through this, I can't imagine how overwhelming it must be. You are putting your baby first and that is what is most important - you will find a way to get through this.
T&P's
I would definitely contact a lawyer for a consultation before just riding it out to get fired. If you get fired for something you received lots of warnings for you might not get unemployment. If your workplace is inconsistent with their application of the rules then you might have a case. According to my employer FMLA is 12 weeks for the year and maternity leave counts. Most employers would be more understanding though, you're not asking for much.
Not trying to take your employers side I just want you to have all the info.
Hi! I'm the HR rep at my company and thought I'd lend some quick info...
While some employers do offer a maternity leave that does not require an employee to file for FMLA, not all employers do offer maternity leave. We used to, but changed our policy and took away the option of a maternity leave and now require our employees to file for FMLA.
When we did offer a maternity leave policy, our employees still needed to file for FMLA.
When our employees file for FMLA, their vacation/sick/PTO must be applied to this leave at the commence of their absence. They cannot save this time so they are getting the PTO (paid time off) while they are on FMLA.
After exhausting your FMLA leave, when someone comes back we also have a progressive disciplinary outline that we follow and we have to write them up no matter how sympathetic we are to their situation, we can't set a prescedence for not following through with acknowledging the unexcused absence.
I hate to say it but so far, it sounds like your employer is acting 'by the book', albeit not very sympathetic and it freaking sucks to have an employer that isn't supportive when life happens. I'd ask them if there was any way to maintain your employment through a flexible schedule of some sort, or if worst case, that you take an informal leave while they voluntarily hold your position open as they aren't under any obligation to keep it open if you have already exhausted your FMLA.
Now, if that doesn't work...pp was right about getting unemployment, at least here in Ohio. I respond to all unemployment claims for our company and I don't waste my time when the lack of employment is due to a medical issue of some sort (ie exhausted all of their FMLA, or did not return to work due to a medical situation of some sort).
It would be my suggestion to document EVERY medical appointment you have to take off work for. If by any chance you need to file for unemployment, I'd say it would help your situation and chances of getting it by claiming that your lack of employment is due to medical reasons. The unemployment office seems to really back up the employee and the burden to prove that the employee was justifiably terminated/out of work is on the employer. But again, claiming your lack of employment is due to medical reasons really is a hard one to lose.
This is all just based upon my experiance and how we carry out policies at our company.
Good luck and I hope everything works out. I'm so sorry that you are going through this!!
Thank you so much for advice. It is nice to hear it from an HR perspective. I have doctor slips for each appointment that I have had for my son and myself. I am praying about this situation and I hope that I make the right choice for myself and my family. Thank you so much!
Baby Boy #2 is on the way!