Initiating BD?

JaimeLD6

How do you get into the BD when ovulating?  DO you just flat out tell him It's time or ask him if he wants to or do you so something more fun? (like dress up and rev him up!?) LOL

 

Does your guy participate in the charting? Does he know when you O?

 

Just think this could be fun to play around with or it could be completely clinical...

 

Just wanted to hear how you all do it  

BrittKav

Yep, I tell him the schedule. Example: "I'm going to be ovulating in about 5 days so we should have sex tonight, then skip tomorrow, then have sex for the next 3 or 4 days after that." Very romantic.  When we actually have sex, though, we get into it. It's not a chore or anything.

kellyrn9956

My husband wants absolutely nothing to do with it all. We are lucky, in that we have sex 4-5 times per week regularly, so it's never a real issue.

Be very careful making it too "clinical". I used to share with my H, and I used to bug him around my fertile time. It got us to a very bad point in our marriage. Luckily, we seem to have hit our stride over the past year or so, and have been having very regular sex anyway.

choppinbroccoli22

I show DH my chart an he makes the correct conclusion all by himself.

ktdid804

I usually hint to MH that we should start EOD sex by CD 17 at the latest, but usually he initiates things before then.  He doesn't seem to have any trouble finishing when I tell him I've gotten a positive OPK, so I let him know and then we start ED sex for 3-4 days or until my temp spikes. Sometimes I surprise him with some lingerie to make things more interesting.

He doesn't really participate in charting other than he'll start asking me later in my LP if my temps are still up  

Haikinn1

BrittKav:

Yep, I tell him the schedule. Example: "I'm going to be ovulating in about 5 days so we should have sex tonight, then skip tomorrow, then have sex for the next 3 or 4 days after that." Very romantic.  When we actually have sex, though, we get into it. It's not a chore or anything.

 

Exactly this.  

Starfish+77

My husband wants to know when I'm ovulating.  But I think we need to take advantage of the timing better..more frequently! It handled to some arguments in recent months. 

You may want to ask him if he even wants to know. Mine does, but other men may be put off knowing this. GL! 

JumpAroundBucky

Usually I just lay naked on the bed. That does the trick. 

ETA: When we were TTC, he knew when it was coming. I don't often throw myself at him every day for a week, so it's pretty obvious.  

missusmeeseeks

He knows everything but I also make a special effort to take the pressure off him. Surprising him in my wedding night lingerie is always a nice touch

karlie87

I usually let my H know the week of, letting him know that we need to do the BD at least every other night. But lately he has been figuring it out himself, knowing around which days. I've never showed him my chart, but I do talk about it sometimes. I dont think he really wants to know all the dirty details, he just likes doing the deed. lol

How I go about it, is I just come down stairs and walk around naked or I dress up in something sexy.

CupcakeKaper

kellyrn9956:

My husband wants absolutely nothing to do with it all. We are lucky, in that we have sex 4-5 times per week regularly, so it's never a real issue.

Be very careful making it too "clinical". I used to share with my H, and I used to bug him around my fertile time. It got us to a very bad point in our marriage. Luckily, we seem to have hit our stride over the past year or so, and have been having very regular sex anyway.

Agreed.

If I get hung up on "I'm ovulating this week,"  DH gets really nervous and it takes a lot of the fun out of it...and turns it into a chore.  Obviously we don't want that, so I don't tell him.  He is usually able to figure it out though because it's the only time that I'm the one pestering him instead of the other way around. 

holly321

kellyrn9956:

My husband wants absolutely nothing to do with it all. We are lucky, in that we have sex 4-5 times per week regularly, so it's never a real issue.

 

 

This, DH gets annoyed if he things I only want to have sex because I am ovulating. 

kleigh926

There's really no point in me not telling him. I rarely initiate sex (I just naturally have a low sex drive) so me wanting to have sex everyday 3 or 4 days in a row is pretty obvious. I'm sure he would figure it out on his own.

Plus, I think he kind of likes knowing what's going on. He hasn't shown any signs of thinking it's too much of a chore or expressed that he doesn't want to know.

MAdams728

We have always had sex a few times a week.  Not much has changed since we decided to stop TTA.  He dosent know the details of ovulation times, and he prefers it that way.   We just jumped into the TTC pool, so at this point we are taking a somewhat casual approach to it, I havent started charting or temping, but I did buy the book  ;-) 

SchruteBucks

We have sex fairly regularly (3-4 times a week) so we don't really have to do anything differently for TTC.  Fortunately, it doesn't take much effort to get my husband in the mood.  If I just lie down in bed a certain way, snuggle him a certain way, wear certain undies (I always wear a t-shirt and undies to bed), he'll do all of the initiating and think the idea was entirely his. 

My husband does participate in the charting since it is part of our family planning and we use it to TTA as well.  He wakes me up every morning to take my temperature.  We keep a paper chart in the bathroom and he looks at that to see where we are.  He's also very in tune with my body and notices the changes in my cm and cp, since he spends far more time down there than I do!

I love that our family planning (whether trying or avoiding) is something that we do together.  However, we don't let that knowledge negatively affect our sex life.  We may be trying to make a baby, but we also treasure the intimate part of our relationship and enjoy it very much

BlueEyedDreamer

I didn't used to tell him because we have sex pretty regularly and I didn't want him to feel like we were on some sort of "schedule." But once we hit the 1 year mark, DH got a lot more involved, and now we make a "plan" at the beginning of each cycle - whether we're going to try ED or EOD, etc. I keep him up to date on where things are in terms of OPKs and whatnot, and we do "plan" when we have sex. But it's still good.

Kristinfm

BrittKav:

Yep, I tell him the schedule. Example: "I'm going to be ovulating in about 5 days so we should have sex tonight, then skip tomorrow, then have sex for the next 3 or 4 days after that." Very romantic.  When we actually have sex, though, we get into it. It's not a chore or anything.

 

This. MH likes to be involved, look at my chart, etc.  

lovepink8

BrittKav:

Yep, I tell him the schedule. Example: "I'm going to be ovulating in about 5 days so we should have sex tonight, then skip tomorrow, then have sex for the next 3 or 4 days after that." Very romantic.  When we actually have sex, though, we get into it. It's not a chore or anything.

this!

DH likes to know all the information. Early he had asked me if since the OPK had 2 lines if that meant I was about to O. I just laughed & said no the 2nd line is supposed to be darker or the same color as the control line. 

foodie12rn

CupcakeKaper:

kellyrn9956:

My husband wants absolutely nothing to do with it all. We are lucky, in that we have sex 4-5 times per week regularly, so it's never a real issue.

Be very careful making it too "clinical". I used to share with my H, and I used to bug him around my fertile time. It got us to a very bad point in our marriage. Luckily, we seem to have hit our stride over the past year or so, and have been having very regular sex anyway.

Agreed.

If I get hung up on "I'm ovulating this week,"  DH gets really nervous and it takes a lot of the fun out of it...and turns it into a chore.  Obviously we don't want that, so I don't tell him.  He is usually able to figure it out though because it's the only time that I'm the one pestering him instead of the other way around. 

 

This! Last month, I told DH when I was ovulating and he got total stage fright. To make matters worse, I got all emotional when he couldn't deliver and he could tell I was upset. Not a fun time! 

JaimeLD6

I guess I forget how hard it is to Schedule sex when you're on opposite schedules.

Guess on those nights I'll have to invite him to wake me up! LOL 

telicious2

CupcakeKaper:

kellyrn9956:

My husband wants absolutely nothing to do with it all. We are lucky, in that we have sex 4-5 times per week regularly, so it's never a real issue.

Be very careful making it too "clinical". I used to share with my H, and I used to bug him around my fertile time. It got us to a very bad point in our marriage. Luckily, we seem to have hit our stride over the past year or so, and have been having very regular sex anyway.

Agreed.

If I get hung up on "I'm ovulating this week,"  DH gets really nervous and it takes a lot of the fun out of it...and turns it into a chore.  Obviously we don't want that, so I don't tell him.  He is usually able to figure it out though because it's the only time that I'm the one pestering him instead of the other way around. 

Haha, so true!

telicious2

Its usually a mix of me telling him its time to start BDing, me dressing in something fun, or if he knows then he'll initiate.

Last week I got a couple of positive OPKs and I was so excited that I had to show him. He seems to be in the stage where he is excited for a baby that he wants to be in the know.