Do you invite DH's guy friends to co-ed showers?
Mrs.RTH
member
I have only ever been to two baby showers so I am not sure what the "norm" is when it comes to co-ed showers. One shower I went to was all girls. The other was supposed to be co-ed but my husband ended up being the only guy who showed up besides the daddy-to-be and the BIL. The invites said it was a co-ed shower and to bring husbands and boyfriends but apparently no one else's husbands or boyfriends were interested in going (mine is friends with the daddy and BIL so he didn't mind). I'm thinking about doing a co-ed shower because my husband wants to go and I think he might be uncomfortable being the only guy. But, I don't have any guy friends and we only have three (kind of) mutual guy friends to invite. To me it seems like it would be really weird just having the three guys there and we don't know the boyfriends of the other girls I am inviting so I doubt they would come.
So I'm wondering, if we do a co-ed shower do I invite hubby's guy friends that I am not friends with and/or don't really know? It also seems kind of weird to invite his guy friends that aren't friends of mine as well to a baby shower (and I'm guessing they wouldn't want to go to a shower anyways). It would be one thing if I was friends with their girlfriends/wives too, but I don't know most of them. So do you usually invite hubby's friends that you aren't friends with? Or should I do an all girls shower and either leave hubby home or have him be a little uncomfortable as the only guy there?
(On a side note another concern of mine is if we do a co-ed shower, I'll have to invite my FIL who is a jerk that I hate being around) Sorry this is so long!
Re: Do you invite DH's guy friends to co-ed showers?
A lot of husbands don't like going to co-ed showers and won't go. Personally I don't like co-ed showers...they always seem kind of lopsided. My DH has gone out with the "guys" but has only gone to one co-ed shower and since there were only a few other guys that showed up they ended up watching sports in the house (the shower was in the backyard).
Does your hostess care if it is co-ed or not. Keep in mind you need to ask how many she is able to accomodate and then keep in mind by making it co-ed you are doubling the amount. So...if she says 30...that means 30 women or 15 couples.
HOnestly, this sounds too forced. It's one thing if you and DH have a large group of friends, men and women, and you're relatively friendly w/ the SO's of these people. I can see them all coming together for a shower that might be more like a party and having a good time.
What you're describing - you'd be inviting a couple guys who you barely know and would know no one else just to say "it's a co-ed shower" and so that your DH won't be alone. I would expect to see them sequester themselves off in the corner and not really take part in the shower.
DUe to this, I would just have a normal, girls only shower. Either your DH can come on his own, or he can not come at all - it's not the end of the world.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This is one of the reasons I think coed showers can be a little queer. (Not that they all are! Just many of them!) Like any party, I think you are better off if you invite the people you want there, rather than all your girlfriends "+1." So yeah, if you are truly going for the couples vibe, then invite your girlfriends and their husbands, but address the invite to both of them (by name), and then let your hubby invite his boyfriends (tee-hee) and their wives, but address the invites to both of them (again, by name, so they truly feel invited, not just like tagalongs).
But if all this is an issue, and you think the guys that go are just going because they feel obligated (like your DH did that one time), plus you got the FIL issue, then you might want to just save yourself the stress and just do an all-girls thing. And if your hubby really wants to go, he can go and just deal with being the only dude there.
I think it depends on the venue and crew attending. Ours is a cook out style at a state park with a giant natural spring for swimming, and hiking trails...so there is tons to do there. Also, we have a big family and brother-in-laws and cousins husbands traveling with their families from over an hour away...so they will surely come..and DH's friends from school and work -- I am friends with the wives, but the guys like to hang out, too, so since the venue and party is kid friendly I imagine they would come.
If we were doing something super girly or at a house I would have gone all girls.