Can someone reassure me, please?

lbgriffith

DS was over at MIL's today (she watches him in her in-home daycare 2x a week) and when I picked him up today, I mentioned to her that he finally started clapping last night.  She made a comment that upset me about DS being "slow" and "behind" (like the clapping, since my cousin's LO just started clapping and she is 8 months).  I've always told myself that every baby does things in their own time and so for her to just say it to me like that just hurt my feelings because I was really caught off guard about it. I know a lot of babies clap earlier than 11 months, but is it that late for him to start doing it?  It just got me thinking about how he doesn't wave and doesn't talk besides babbling sounds (dada and mama but not to us in particular).  I hate to ask it like this, but is my LO "normal"? 

nickinbrandon

I'm sure your LO is fine, mine probably started clapping around 9 months but she only does it when she feels like it so its hit or miss.  At my DD's 9 month check up they had me fill out paperwork that was answering questions on different developmental milestones, I can't remember for sure but I don't believe clapping is on there so that usually means they do not consider it a developmental milestone (just like with crawling) so I wouldn't stress too much over it

BabyBoyNYC

I heard a woman say to a another mom once "did you ever meet a 35 year old that never learned to walk" so now everytime i worry about something I always say "did you ever meet a 35 year old that never learned to _____"

and why is clapping so important? my DS tries to but always hits his belly, he also doesn't babble consonants either just a bunch of "thhhhhhhhhhwwww ppppp" and vowel sounds but he crawled earlier than most babies and is starting to stand without holding on. Its just a give and take. They can't to everything according this milestone schedule. Try to relax and give your mind a break

littledream313

My little guy is 11 months as well and he doesn't wave, clap, or talk other than babble. It's totally normal at this age, so no worries! My daughter didn't start until 10-11 months and my pedi told me as long as she is interacting with us and responding to our emotions that it's no big deal.

Kimberly92405

BabyBoyNYC:

I heard a woman say to a another mom once "did you ever meet a 35 year old that never learned to walk" so now everytime i worry about something I always say "did you ever meet a 35 year old that never learned to _____

Great answer.  When I thought my DS would never sttn, my mom said something similar. Your LO will do it when ready.  

 

iammecandace

I wouldnt worry about it as long as he is doing other things well. For example, can move objects from one hand to another and picking up small items. He'll get there. Id be more upset with the way she handled the situation. She could have been more happy for you. She shouldnt compare her other gradchildren to your child.

toadstool

I'm sure he is fine. I'm sure if you think about it, there are other areas in which he thrives. We all have things that we are great at and then there are things that we aren't as good at or maybe we just aren't as interested in. I hate it when people fixate on one skill and then label the kid as advance or behind based on that skill. Growth and developement is not going to be uniform in all areas.

Bennett714

littledream313:

My little guy is 11 months as well and he doesn't wave, clap, or talk other than babble. It's totally normal at this age, so no worries! My daughter didn't start until 10-11 months and my pedi told me as long as she is interacting with us and responding to our emotions that it's no big deal.

This. We are in the same boat, but like everything else DS will do it when he is ready. He has been able to pull up on us for over two months but decided to try it by himself two weeks ago. I think he needed to know for sure he could do it. Plus, if your LO is working on another milestone, he is probably devoting all his energies to that. Your LO isn't behind. There is a really wide range of abilities at this age. 

PartiallySunny

My LO just started clapping. Before he would take my hands and clap them together, lol.

I don't think there is anything wrong with your LO, but if you are concerned talk to your pedi. And tell your mom to mind her own business.

snoopy5512

DD doesn't clap yet.  She thinks it is amusing when I do it.  It's not a milestone they put a time to. 

smiling76

You can't look at just one or two things--you really have to look at the whole picture.  Is he behind on other things--like crawling, cruising, etc?  Has he been behind on all milestones? 

With DS1 he was pretty behind on almost every milestone.  Then he wasn't even rolling by 9 months, let alone crawling--didn't do that until 12 months--didn't walk until 15 months.  He didn't say dada until about 9 months--mama at 10 mos.  And really didn't have many more words after that.  And putting it all together--it should have been a clue that he had other issues--and he does--he has speech apraxia--he has sensory issues that requires occupational therapy. 

He attends special education classes 4 days a week and that's helping him.  But he's still VERY much behind a traditional 3.5 yr old.  DS2 is a little more "on target"--- not a ton of words at his age, but we'll be monitoring it closely and getting him help as needed through early intervention much earlier than we did with DS1.

I would recommend talking to your pedi if you feel that he's behind on more than a few things--but if not, then I wouldn't worry about it.  And PLEASE don't worry about what others (relatives) say--- it's what YOU and your DR determine that is important. 

Some kids don't talk until much later and are completely normal. 

In terms of clapping--- can he do things like pass a toy from hand to hand? 

Soon2BMRS615

My DS just started clapping, maybe 2 weeks ago.  I was also concerned that he wasn't doing it.  Luckily, a good friend of mine is an occupational therapist.  I asked her about my concerns, and she told me that as long as he could pass from 1 hand to the other, not to worry.  I know it is hard to not be concerned (we all want our LOs to be perfect), there is NO set time for when these things should happen.  Also, I'd have your DH speak with his mother about not making comments like that to you.  It isn't necessary and just makes you worry.  Also, as a daycare provider, she should know that children develope at their own rate. 

Sarafuss

I think your DS sounds perfectly normal.  And I think your MIL is rude for calling your son slow and it's her grandchild!  For someone who watches children for a living you would think she would know that every baby is different and reaches certain milestones at different times.  Also, she should learn to keep her mouth shut because she's not a pediatrician and doesn't know what she is talking about.

Sorry for my rant.  This kind of stuff irritates me!

nikip6454

My LO is 11m3d and does not clap at all but it is also not something we really do with her. She didn't say mama or dada until about 9 months, to the correct person until about 10 months.She was really never exposed to the words until I read that she "should" be saying them. 

 She did sit and crawl somewhat early and is on pace to be walking by 12months.  She blows kisses any time someone says kisses and she babble sings to every song.  

 Every baby is different and every parent is different.  Babies are going to pick up on things they have more exposure to.  As a pp said, talk to your pedi if there you are concerned about a few milestones.  I wouldn't says clapping "late" is a stand alone indication of any delays.

p1nklemonade

mine started clapping at 10-11 months, but she's ahead in other areas.  don't worry about it.

MrsDL

I have a clapper, he started clapping before 7 months and he has great gross motor skills, but he isn't crawling or really pulling-up - he just started rolling like a maniac as his primary way of locamotion only within the last two weeks.

Most of the time, I agree it's normal. I actually called the pedi yesturday about gross motor. I see him with crawling signs, but you do get people with babies who say "wait - he's not crawling - how old is he? 10 months - oh (silence)" and it is enough to freak any parent out. My pedi said babies do develop at their own pace, she saw nothing wrong with DS. He wasn't lagging in other areas so she feels part is personality and he'll get there. We agreed that if he hasn't made the progress I feel I need to see, we'll check it out again prior to his 1 year appt.

Your baby is likely just fine and taking time. If you feel there are a few things you are worried about, talk to the pedi. Even if it's something minor, early intervention can help get them on track.

amy21tom

Exactly what everyone else said. All babies are so different. DS has been walking for a few weeks but only says hi, and he doesn't even know what it means, just says it randomly. He does other things like waving, clapping, pointing, and he understands a bunch of words, but refuses to say anything.