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Has this gone beyond "normal" behavior?

JenF910JenF910 member
in Special Needs

I"m new here looking for some advice. I'm  wondering if I should call the pedi regarding DD's behavior but I dont know if I'm just an overreacting stressed out parent or if there is something to be concerned about

We've been dealing with "terrible twos' since DD was 18 months old (shes almost 3.5 now) She's always cried and thrown way more tantrums then what we see in other kids, but instead of getting better they seem to be getting worse. They may happen less but when they do they are way more intense and last longer! She seriously cries over absolutely NOTHING. Tonight she got so upset she was running around her room screaming and crying and even after she stopped she kept gasping for breath and couldnt calm down. She didnt even seem to know what she was upset about. Her speech is well on track so it's not as if she can verbalize.

She use to be ok at school so we thought it was just us, but she's getting worse there too. Throwing tantrums, not being able to sit still, hitting other kids, etc. She doesnt seem to play with kids her age, though she gets along with the bigger kids. She has such a hard time sitting still during circle time they have to sit her on a chair to keep her from running around

Something just feels not right, but none of her teachers (who are trained in early childhood development) have raised any concerns so I dont know if she's just a difficult kid and I'm too stressed out and looking for some kind of answers

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Re: Has this gone beyond "normal" behavior?

  • Assembly_ReqdAssembly_Reqd member

    Have you asked them? I think some teachers need to be invited to this conversation by the parent.

    They just don't wanna go there in case they are "totally wrong".

    No point in dragging the horse to the water if you cannot get it to drink.

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  • malcivarmalcivar member
    imageAssembly_Reqd:

    Have you asked them? I think some teachers need to be invited to this conversation by the parent.

    They just don't wanna go there in case they are "totally wrong".

    No point in dragging the horse to the water if you cannot get it to drink.

    I agree.  Some parents will immediately get defensive if it's the teacher that brings it up, but you should ask them.  There may be something that's causing her to act out in such a manner that's outside of any kind of major concern or it could be something else.

    Good luck! 

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  • finsupfinsup member
    imageAssembly_Reqd:

    Have you asked them? I think some teachers need to be invited to this conversation by the parent.

    They just don't wanna go there in case they are "totally wrong".

    No point in dragging the horse to the water if you cannot get it to drink.

     

    I also agree.  In my course of things so far I had a group of teachers working w/ my son who i truly believe were "dancing" around the word Autism - yet none of them ever said it to me.  Which, frankly, did a major disservice to me and my kid.

    Speak up.  Ask: "hey teacher, I've been doing a lot of thinking and researching lately about LO's behavior in class.  Do you think there may be a bigger issue going on that I should have investigated, I'm concerned." 

    Also, What do YOU think?  If you think something is off, have it investigated, the sooner the better.

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  • jsugrinjsugrin member
    My feeling is when you feel like there may be a problem the best thing to do is explore it.  I'd open the discussion with her teachers, are things getting more strict at school and she's not responding well to that, is she the youngest or oldest in the group, do they feel like this is normal 3 behavior (which is hell BTW) or that the increase in behavior problem might mean she's struggling (and if she's been at this school for awhile and you're just now seeing behavior problems at school then I'd want to get to the bottom of that).  Does she do well with the chair or does it only make it better?  Kids with sensory issues can have problems at circle time and chairs, pillows ect often help a great deal.  After she has a breakdown can she verbalize how she was feeling, what upset her ect?  My 3 has some awful tantrums, and they can last an ungodly long time but he can tell you exactly what he's pissed about.  Now my 4 on the other hand, has sensory issues and while he has far fewer tantrums he's more likely to get out of control and be unable to even say why he was so upset, he just gets overhwelmed and can't bring himself back down.
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  • JenF910JenF910 member

    imagejsugrin:
    do well with the chair or does it only make it better?  Kids with sensory issues can have problems at circle time and chairs, pillows ect often help a great deal.  After she has a breakdown can she verbalize how she was feeling, what upset her ect?  My 3 has some awful tantrums, and they can last an ungodly long time but he can tell you exactly what he's pissed about.  Now my 4 on the other hand, has sensory issues and while he has far fewer tantrums he's more likely to get out of control and be unable to even say why he was so upset, he just gets overhwelmed and can't bring himself back down.

    The chair does help! After her tantrums we try asking her why she was so upset and she can never explain to us. She got so upset the last time she even seemed to scare herself but couldnt tell us what was wrong (and her verbal skills are good so it's not that). I dont know know anything about sensory issues

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