I've written before about my cousin that I'm really close to. We were about 9 months into TTC #2 when she got married. Well, she got KU on her honeymoon and is being induced today. Her pregnancy hit me HARD. I've gotten over it, for the most part, but I never imagined that I wouldn't be pregnant by the time she delivered.
She lives 3 hours away, with the rest of my extended family, and wants me to come visit her and the baby this weekend. I would love to, but I'm kind of not feeling it, given my failed IUI. Should I wait a couple of weeks or should I just put on my big girl panties and deal?
Re: Should I go?
If you are really not feeling it, then maybe just wait a week or two. You could tell her you want to wait a few weeks to give her a chance to get some rest and to make sure she is not overwhelmed by guests.
If this were a close friend I would wait. If it was my sister I would go, but only for a really short visit. Also kinda depends on how far you have to travel to visit her. If she lives nearby you could pull off a short visit, but if she lives far away all the more reason to wait.
TTC #2 since 6/2010
10/2012 DH diagnosed with Epilepsy
A few failed IUIs summer 2012 and 2013.
DH taking clomid and waiting to see if he needs another vericocele repair.
Hoping for a 2015 baby or babies.
Wishing, hoping, waiting.
I don't know much about your personal story with your cousin, as I've just joined this site, but I do know about infertility and dealing with others. What I've realized over the last few years is that when we deal with infertility, we worry about how our infertility effects other people, (ex. your cousin's baby's birth) but we don't ever expect that others need to understand our feelings. While a baby is an amazing thing, it's where all of our pain lies, also. What if you sent her a gift with a personalilzed card and told her that this weekend isn't the best. If you feel that she would understand, explain why. Otherwise, tell her you'll be in to visit in a couple of weekends.
My very best friend had her baby shower on the due date of the baby I m/c'd. I just couldn't bring myself to attend her shower. I made sure to explain why and sent her a gift. She completely understood. I think we expect ourselves to deal with infertility in a way that is super-human. Infertility brings feelings that we never expect, like not wanting to see a baby. Weird seeing as how all we want is a baby! But, it hurts. And, we're allowed to hurt and give ourselves time away from others when we need it! Does that make sense?
ttc #2 since 2004 Me (35): Stage 3 Endo, DH (34): High DNA Frag
IVF/ICSI #2: April 2014: BFP!!!!!!
ET of 2 great quality embryos. + BFP on 9dp5dt. Beta #1 (10dp5dt): 257, Beta #2 (14dp5dt): 1561,
Beta #3 (21dp5d5): 8,172. Wow. It seems this is actually working. Shocked beyond belief.
1st u/s @6w5d: Baby A hb 124, Baby B hb 127 (Both measuring perfectly!)
Lost baby A. Praying that baby B stays healthy. Baby B hb 175 at 11 weeks
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All of this. ((hugs))