Venting: baby shower drama with my family
debperdoo
member
Just a forewarning this will be long:
So my cousin is having her 2nd baby, the first 1 was born very early at 24 weeks. So she missed her first baby shower, but requested that we still hold it so we video taped it. Which I threw for her and followed all of her rules: it had to be catered, at a location where there were no folding chairs, we had to use daisy's in the centerpiece, . . . she picked the date (ds due date - he was born early so he was 1 week old), time, and had to approve the invitations and decorations. Also she never even bothered to say Thank You to me for throwing her shower. She has 1 girl already and is having another girl. Also she is an only child. She asked her mother to ask my mother to ask me to throw her another shower on a specific date in March, and it had to be at her house, with 55 guests, and I would have to find a way to shuttle them because not everyone can fit in her driveway (or very well in her house) incase she was on bed rest or anything. The date she picked was not nearly enough time to get invitations out and give guests time to plan so I agreed to do it as long as she would agree to move the date out into May (she is due in the beginning of July) to give more time for mailing invites, and such. She got very mad about this (it honestly should have worked better for her, less chance of snow, time for guests to plan it rather then already being busy that day . . .) but told me to go ahead with it anyways so I have it all thought out invitations (which she approved) are ordered but am just waiting for addresses from her.
Today I get an invitation in the mail - addressed to my maiden name, in my cousins handwriting, from a girl that was not even invited to the first shower. It says her shower will be on June 3rd, at a restaurant, the brunch is 42.00 per person, receipt of your check will acknowledge that you are confirming, please make checks payable to person throwing it.
My cousin has always been a spoiled brat who gets her way. My mother says guess your off the hook, and can not see why I am annoyed by this am I really wrong to be annoyed? I decided I am not even going to go to the shower, I think it is tacky they are asking you to pay, and annoyed she couldnt just tell me she changed her mind.
Re: Venting: baby shower drama with my family
UMmmmm, first of all, I have no idea why you agreed to throw her a SECOND shower. What an ungrateful biotch!!! Secondly, if I got an invitation in the mail, asking me to send money, I would take a bunch of pictures of it and post it on FB so everyone could laugh about it. I would keep it in my purse to show random people about how ridic it is.
Yes, you are off the hook. I would call her and ask her what on earth is going on, and why are you getting a request for money in the mail?! Beyond tacky!!!
That is so beyond tacky.
Send your regrets and be done, imo.
Ditto to what MarSam said!! We received a wedding invite once that included the request to bring a dish to pass at the reception.
Honestly it sounds like something that would happen in my family. I have started writing out all of these things in a book I've affectinately titled 'White Trash Chronicles - Jerry Springer Ain't Got Nothin' on Us" Of course I will never be able to publish it and only my closest girlfriends will ever get a peek at it.
I agree with MarSam and Caniac, why would you agree to throw a second shower? Her behavior for the first was SO obnoxious. If you want to plan your own shower, just throw it yourself.
I would be totally pissed if I were you. But I'd also be super relieved. Think of all the money and aggravation you saved! I hope you didn't already pay for the invitations. If so, I'd send them to her as a baby gift. But I can be pretty petty...
As a preemie mom, I understand feeling like I lost out on the mom-to-be experience, and some family friends have stated that if I ever get pregnant, they'll throw me a sprinkle shower to make up for it.
But demanding, and outright planning a second shower is just ridic. $42 a person sounds like they are making a profit off the party. Is it midday or evening? She prob has it so that she gets $20 from each guest. My bridal shower was top notch, full brunch with add-ons and mimosas and it was about $20 a person.
Did she register again? If so, it goes beyond ridic and tacky to just plain stupid.
So I said I would do it because my mother has a way of guilting me into saying yes to anything. The shower is a brunch, they must be including the room rent into the price or like someone said she is guaranteeing herself a gift. So I definitely am feeling relieved not to deal with her about this.
It is too bad our kids are 2 months apart and they live like a mile away yet they never even get to play together.
This. At first I felt sympathetic for her missing out on everything with her baby being a premie. Even though she was a total dictator with the first shower too. But holy hell you went above and beyond. I wouldn't even RSVP or send a gift. Honestly she sounds like someone you're better off without! Sorry about all this, geez
Wow, that's nuts!
I would decline and move on. Maybe eventually you guys will repair the relationship between you two and your kids will get to know one another. But until then, no loss.